for A new life in the past5/15/2021 c22 
4yukihime88
i just finished reading the orginal before being adopted and i'm really happy that you adopted this as i would want to know the ending
4yukihime88i just finished reading the orginal before being adopted and i'm really happy that you adopted this as i would want to know the ending
5/5/2021 c22 Guest
This Is Such A Wonderful Story Please Update for more
This Is Such A Wonderful Story Please Update for more
3/2/2021 c1 2CaneVerde
I didn't read the whole story(not really my cup of tea) but seeing the summary I thought I could help out. You made quite a bit of mistakes and badly written summaries often discourage readers. It's not even about what you written there but also the grammar, and style. People take it as a sample of your level.
Just correcting tenses, punctuation, and adding capital letters when needed helps.
As you can see:
Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo (Neo Vongola Primo) was dead.
or
Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo (Neo Vongola Primo) has died.
Depending on your intention: th first version emphasizes the state of death and the second emphasizes the action of dying. Since he doesn't stay dead, second one will suit your purpose more.
Even adding "(Neo Vongola Primo)" isn't needed. Most people know who are you talking about and even if they didn't read/watch whole series they are more likely to know the first than the second title. After all it appeared in the last chapter of the manga if I remember corectly.
But, instead of going to the afterlife like normal, he got reborn as G's (Vongola Primo's Storm Guardian) younger sister.
Instead of "like normal" "like a normal person" may sound better. Again clarification of G's position is unnecessary.
"... Mio Dio! Did... did I just got reborn as G's younger sister?"
"Dio" refers to God, the christian one so it's 'the God', you write it with a capital letter. "reborn" in the second sentence can be replaced with reincarnated, you will escape repeating.
From that day he decided that fate hates him ...or her now?
Instead of "hates" you can write "must hate". It may be a good idea to skip "now" at the end, because it's unclear if it refers to the hat or being a girl.
Sorry if I upset you with it. If so I didn't mean it.
2CaneVerdeI didn't read the whole story(not really my cup of tea) but seeing the summary I thought I could help out. You made quite a bit of mistakes and badly written summaries often discourage readers. It's not even about what you written there but also the grammar, and style. People take it as a sample of your level.
Just correcting tenses, punctuation, and adding capital letters when needed helps.
As you can see:
Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo (Neo Vongola Primo) was dead.
or
Sawada Tsunayoshi, Vongola Decimo (Neo Vongola Primo) has died.
Depending on your intention: th first version emphasizes the state of death and the second emphasizes the action of dying. Since he doesn't stay dead, second one will suit your purpose more.
Even adding "(Neo Vongola Primo)" isn't needed. Most people know who are you talking about and even if they didn't read/watch whole series they are more likely to know the first than the second title. After all it appeared in the last chapter of the manga if I remember corectly.
But, instead of going to the afterlife like normal, he got reborn as G's (Vongola Primo's Storm Guardian) younger sister.
Instead of "like normal" "like a normal person" may sound better. Again clarification of G's position is unnecessary.
"... Mio Dio! Did... did I just got reborn as G's younger sister?"
"Dio" refers to God, the christian one so it's 'the God', you write it with a capital letter. "reborn" in the second sentence can be replaced with reincarnated, you will escape repeating.
From that day he decided that fate hates him ...or her now?
Instead of "hates" you can write "must hate". It may be a good idea to skip "now" at the end, because it's unclear if it refers to the hat or being a girl.
Sorry if I upset you with it. If so I didn't mean it.
2/2/2021 c1 Kate
Hello, I'm a translator and editor. I saw this story and found out that the plot was very interesting. I'm not sure but I want to ask if I could translate your story into my mother tounge. I would be very if I could, if not then thank you for write this excellent story
Hello, I'm a translator and editor. I saw this story and found out that the plot was very interesting. I'm not sure but I want to ask if I could translate your story into my mother tounge. I would be very if I could, if not then thank you for write this excellent story
12/21/2020 c15 4Liazi2502
Ohhhh! I was so surprised when I found this story! Thank you for adopting it! The plot is interesting, I can't wait to see how this will go!
4Liazi2502Ohhhh! I was so surprised when I found this story! Thank you for adopting it! The plot is interesting, I can't wait to see how this will go!
7/29/2020 c11 Kurosu Cross
Seeing the 10 Gens Vongola in story tag, i assume that they will be the Arcobaleno ?
Seeing the 10 Gens Vongola in story tag, i assume that they will be the Arcobaleno ?
5/29/2020 c1 7ObscureScryptic
nice to see someone adopt the ficCan't wait to see what changes and addition you bring to the story.
7ObscureScrypticnice to see someone adopt the ficCan't wait to see what changes and addition you bring to the story.