
6/4/2020 c1
47WyldClaw
Oh my goodness! That was beyond intense! I felt like I was right there with the other paladins as lo Lotor suffocates Pidge

Oh my goodness! That was beyond intense! I felt like I was right there with the other paladins as lo Lotor suffocates Pidge
6/1/2020 c1 CarnelianWing
That was fantastic! This might be my favourite story of yours so far. The pacing, dialogue, and interactions, especially between Pidge and Lotor, are great, and you did a good job keeping the story tense and suspenseful.
I love the way you wrote Lotor in this. I've always felt so confused as to what kind of person he was in the show, whether he was a lying, cold-blooded murderer or if he actually did have well-meaning intentions. But I can't help but love when people write him as a maniacal villain. And it's canon that he enjoys taking revenge on those who have wronged him, so it makes perfect sense that he would carry a grudge against Pidge and that he's actually been waiting to have her at his mercy. Lotor acts like a total creep the entire time he interacts with her. I love villains who are "faux-affectionate" with their captives; he's stroking her chin and running his fingers through her hair, while also electrocuting her and making threats. It was an absolute delight to read through.
And as for Pidge, great work getting across just how scared she was, completely helpless and at the mercy of a monster. And despite that, she was still defiant towards him, and even though she knew something terrible and painful was going to happen to her, she still made sure to tell her friends to look away so they wouldn't have to witness her suffering. Absolutely in-character in every way.
My only criticism of the chapter would probably be Allura and Keith's interaction. I know Keith and Pidge didn't interact much in the show, but there was never any indication to me that Keith didn't get along with her (aside from that one moment in Episode 4 and they made up afterwards), so it feels a little odd to me that Keith is being rather dismissive of Pidge's safety. I know he cares about her and it feels in-character that his first priority would, of course, be getting Shiro back, but it was still an odd and rather uncomfortable moment to read through. But other than that, I really loved this addition to your BTHB.
I know the person who requested this prompt also requested a potential sequel to this chapter, so it'll be interesting to see whether we'll get to see how Pidge will fare after this under Lotor's cruel captivity, or if the story is just going to remain a one-shot with an open-ended conclusion. I'm okay with either honestly; I'd love to see a sequel, but if you would rather leave it as it is, I'm okay with that too. Looking forward to whatever you write next!
That was fantastic! This might be my favourite story of yours so far. The pacing, dialogue, and interactions, especially between Pidge and Lotor, are great, and you did a good job keeping the story tense and suspenseful.
I love the way you wrote Lotor in this. I've always felt so confused as to what kind of person he was in the show, whether he was a lying, cold-blooded murderer or if he actually did have well-meaning intentions. But I can't help but love when people write him as a maniacal villain. And it's canon that he enjoys taking revenge on those who have wronged him, so it makes perfect sense that he would carry a grudge against Pidge and that he's actually been waiting to have her at his mercy. Lotor acts like a total creep the entire time he interacts with her. I love villains who are "faux-affectionate" with their captives; he's stroking her chin and running his fingers through her hair, while also electrocuting her and making threats. It was an absolute delight to read through.
And as for Pidge, great work getting across just how scared she was, completely helpless and at the mercy of a monster. And despite that, she was still defiant towards him, and even though she knew something terrible and painful was going to happen to her, she still made sure to tell her friends to look away so they wouldn't have to witness her suffering. Absolutely in-character in every way.
My only criticism of the chapter would probably be Allura and Keith's interaction. I know Keith and Pidge didn't interact much in the show, but there was never any indication to me that Keith didn't get along with her (aside from that one moment in Episode 4 and they made up afterwards), so it feels a little odd to me that Keith is being rather dismissive of Pidge's safety. I know he cares about her and it feels in-character that his first priority would, of course, be getting Shiro back, but it was still an odd and rather uncomfortable moment to read through. But other than that, I really loved this addition to your BTHB.
I know the person who requested this prompt also requested a potential sequel to this chapter, so it'll be interesting to see whether we'll get to see how Pidge will fare after this under Lotor's cruel captivity, or if the story is just going to remain a one-shot with an open-ended conclusion. I'm okay with either honestly; I'd love to see a sequel, but if you would rather leave it as it is, I'm okay with that too. Looking forward to whatever you write next!