for Player 62438/6 c7 
22Kingdark
So, you ended the story in an open ended way, clearly hinting at a potential sequel and then... Nothing? The story is fairly well written. There are at least a dozen typos, where you wrote as an actual example -no- but meant 'now' or know' or any other word that sounds alike but is spelled differently.
Similarly, there are several instances where you use the wrong tenses as well. Either way, I'd give it a six out of ten. It's a good story, the effort is there, you clearly did double check most of your story, so that's all in your favor.
Thanks for writing and sharing your story.
Kingdark
22KingdarkSo, you ended the story in an open ended way, clearly hinting at a potential sequel and then... Nothing? The story is fairly well written. There are at least a dozen typos, where you wrote as an actual example -no- but meant 'now' or know' or any other word that sounds alike but is spelled differently.
Similarly, there are several instances where you use the wrong tenses as well. Either way, I'd give it a six out of ten. It's a good story, the effort is there, you clearly did double check most of your story, so that's all in your favor.
Thanks for writing and sharing your story.
Kingdark
2/9/2023 c7 7rmiser1994
Great story! Will there be a sequel? I'm curious to see where/when he is! hehe
7rmiser1994Great story! Will there be a sequel? I'm curious to see where/when he is! hehe
12/15/2022 c7 Ariadne Venegas
I like it except the end so Harry never comeback to Andromeda I hope they stopped the other criminal from abducting the gamers
What do you mean the other realities couldn’t contain him?
I like it except the end so Harry never comeback to Andromeda I hope they stopped the other criminal from abducting the gamers
What do you mean the other realities couldn’t contain him?
11/17/2021 c1 TsukuyoGintoki
making Harry so short and ugly is stupid. that's OOC, his family is known for having good looks. he was passed 5'3 when he was in the run. then he gets de-aged which would only allow him to get taller. I'm going to pretend he's sized normally.
making Harry so short and ugly is stupid. that's OOC, his family is known for having good looks. he was passed 5'3 when he was in the run. then he gets de-aged which would only allow him to get taller. I'm going to pretend he's sized normally.
11/12/2021 c7 DontMindMe
In intresting story, some seem very rushed and other parts done solely to try and ether undo something you hand done or to stick to the story line.
Did not like your version of death, mostly that last part, that would habe been entertaining to such a being, watching a man who did so much for his epic ending to be denied it in such a way.
No it felt like you where planning on staying in this univers only to have issues with how you had been going about it.
So over all, intresting idea, good writing capability but i feel you need to perhaps slow now a bit, have some plan but also allow the story to change the world and your plans as they grow.
Good first attempt and well done for at least finishing it even if it was rushed.
In intresting story, some seem very rushed and other parts done solely to try and ether undo something you hand done or to stick to the story line.
Did not like your version of death, mostly that last part, that would habe been entertaining to such a being, watching a man who did so much for his epic ending to be denied it in such a way.
No it felt like you where planning on staying in this univers only to have issues with how you had been going about it.
So over all, intresting idea, good writing capability but i feel you need to perhaps slow now a bit, have some plan but also allow the story to change the world and your plans as they grow.
Good first attempt and well done for at least finishing it even if it was rushed.
11/1/2021 c7 4Saphira455
You've left the door open to more, and I am definitely interested in seeing what you do with it!
4Saphira455You've left the door open to more, and I am definitely interested in seeing what you do with it!
8/24/2021 c7 comodo50
It was a nice, short story overall, but nice nevertheless. Altough kinda disliked the end/postcrip tbh. Will there be a sequel, will it be a xover?
It was a nice, short story overall, but nice nevertheless. Altough kinda disliked the end/postcrip tbh. Will there be a sequel, will it be a xover?
8/16/2021 c7 SNEAKYKAYE
Well this definitely is an interesting chapter, I wonder which world he landed in... Can't wait to see what happens!
Well this definitely is an interesting chapter, I wonder which world he landed in... Can't wait to see what happens!