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6/16/2020 c1 65An Author's Pen
This was a fun crossover! I really like how you've used this encounter to do a stealth character study of young Natasha Romanova. You can feel her self-confidence in some areas of life (mostly the ones involving force) but there's also a kind of uncertainty to her and an empathy that she's still working to shed.

Despite being drugged, Illya's future snarky character and pyrotechnic tendencies also come through. I like how you tied him in via quantum physics and that Marvel quote.

As usual, your place description writing is vivid and a pleasure to read.

[She can hear how far he's fallen behind by the increasingly distant sounds of his gasping inhalations, faint beneath the wailing of the fire alarm.]
I'm not sure how she'd hear breathing under the wailing of a fire alarm. Feels like that sound would drown something as quiet as breathing out. Maybe she hears it in the pauses between the fire alarm's wailing?

[ For the first time, she thinks he might survive in his career long enough to grow some calluses.]
Snappy line!

[she's found so far that she can handle almost anything with the proper application of force. The trick is in knowing where to put the pressure.]
[Everyone she sees seems young to her:]
Both these lines give so much insight into young Natasha.

[There's a klieg light on the roof. The lamp's probably been rusting up there since the last German bomber turned around, but tonight it's illuminated. ]
Nice description detail.

[It may be a hollow temple to the false god of capital, but it's perfect for her present purposes.]
Hah, nice.

[ If he didn't feel up traveling over the rooftops, he should have thought about that before he made a smoking ruin of the ground floor.]
Ooh hoo, good to see Illya into explosives even at the beginning of his spy career.

[Her thighs are clenched around his waist, ]
I found this a bit hard to envision?

[She hadn't been able to tell from the recording, how much of it had been for show.]
Don't think you need that comma.

["Who are you?" he surprises her. ]
["You came, for me?" his tone is somewhere between fear and wonder. ]
Both of these have new sentences after the dialogue. So "he" and "his" should be capitalized.

[ KGB apparatchiks are worse than babushkas when it comes to ghost stories and gossip, and Natasha is the subject of both. Who hasn't heard about the witch-girls from the Red Room?]
Love this bit of world-building and the image of the KGB agents gossiping like babushki.

["I'm not. Haven't you noticed you've been drugged and hit on the head? You're hallucinating."]
This bit made me chuckle.

["We all have sad stories. It's all right. They made me strong."]
The dialogue here feels a little forced to me.

["Yes," he yawns, "I can see how that would be problematic for you."]
Ooh, snarky Illya rears his drugged head.

[When he wakes up, he'll probably think she was just a dream. The Black Widows don't exist. In Berlin, she assassinates a professor and two of his lab assistants. They never send her on any more rescue missions.]
I could use something like "After all, the Black Widows don't exist" to connect those two sentences. And I think the ending might feel a little less abrupt if "In Berlin" starts a new paragraph.

[ I know very little about the actual espionage practices of the KGB, but to be fair, I'm not convinced the folks at Marvel know anything either.]
Hah, too true! And I like your version : )

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