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for Welcome Home, Great Slayer

8/13/2022 c11 1Greater Elk
I actually really liked how you had the story so far. I don’t necessarily think you need to rewrite any chapters, just add more chapters which resolve the perceived shortcomings. I’m pretty sure you could take what you have and just add more to it later. Give the necessary detail and depth for the characters, while simultaneously making the story feel more interesting. You have something pretty good here. Is it perfect? Hell no. Does it need to be? I personally don’t think so. Though if you feel you have written yourself into a corner, then by all means. I look forward to what you plan to publish regardless
8/13/2022 c11 dadg12346
That's crazy bruh but i am a cardboard cutout of a human being who has no opinion on anything but anyways hope you figure things out.
8/12/2022 c10 Guest
Honestly, I think you should keep going. Tiamat may be OC, but that is to be expected since she went through an event that was not in DxDverse at all. Plus, her act of a lovestruck maiden is pretty apt, considering she has rarely, if at all, have any experience in love. Plus, there is something nice about a girl and a guy healing each other.
8/12/2022 c11 ExploerTM
Ok, from my own experience rewrites are bad. Really bad. Sure, they allow to improve quality of the story and whatnot but they actually a giant trap. The moment you start doing rewrites you'll never stop. Perfection is impossible but it doesnt mean you wouldn't try. And then its endless cycle. Imo you should just accept flaws and try to correct them down the line. Once fic is finished thats when you can go wild with rewrites.
8/12/2022 c11 Guest
It's okay. The important thing is that the story you wrote made me really feel how the tension and the battle that Slayer and tiama faced. whether it's cringe or not, the important thing is the story element what you write is very good and uplifting for those who read it
8/12/2022 c11 AhrimanAhzek
The problem with replacing chapters is: how are they going to be consistent with the non-rewritten ones? If you can pull it off somehow then fine, but I'd honestly recommend posting the new story as a rewrite, otherwise we might run into a mish-mash of new and old chapters and the readers will be confused which chapter is which. Overall potentially a total mess.

Aaand I concur with what others have said, even if your own opinion of the fic is... critical now, it's still far above vast majority of Doom fanfiction, especially crossovers.
8/12/2022 c11 3Draedon's Forge
I’m content with reading this fic because it’s better than 99% of DxD crossover fics I’ve read; the same thing goes for other Doom fics, too. I’m glad you’re taking the time to fix things while you can, though: please take your time overhauling this story so we can enjoy it even a percentage of it beyond what it’ll become. Don’t be afraid to include original elements, too—I actually liked the inclusion of Lilith and the incorporation of Argent tech into the supernatural pantheons. It made the fic a lot more interesting and impactful than I expected (even if it was only creating the illusion of greater stakes). I wish you the best, SYDgood luck with college and rewriting this fic.
8/12/2022 c11 2Brave2000
I would suggest reading over each chapter and rewriting them as you see fit. A writer should try to improve his writing and storytelling when possible. If it makes the story better then dont mind us and re write to your hearts content. If you are satisfied with it, more often than not it means we will enjoy reading it. If you find it cringe,rushed and not developed enough, then more likely we will find the same flaws. Do your best
8/12/2022 c11 Dontus -not Donut- Powerus
Eh, the portrayal of the Slayer is fine imo. He's still calming down from his rage high so potential outbursts would sometimes occur. Cue in Doom 2016 Doomslayer in an elevator with Hayden on screen.

Also if you want him to lay back and rest a bit, just don't show the artifacts. Any potential danger that would put anyone at risk of even remotely opening a portal or even summoning a demon is going to make him go and be a man on a mission again.

Tiamat's "Crush High" is self explanatory. She has a crush on a guy for thousands of years that's totally her type and has agreed to make her his familiar. Either someone talks her down or she goes down from her sugar high. I thought that you're just dragging it that long for the Slayer to talk her down at some point.

Anyway, at least you're not the author of One and Only Son that already has repeatedly recycled and rewritten his story plethora of times.
8/12/2022 c11 1BrokenLifeCycle
Story writing is difficult. I've been stalled in developing my own original story for almost ten years now because of how much complexity I've been discovering under the hood the further I go and then need to back track to handle the plot holes that surface with every new word I put in.

Take your time. Take a moment to back up, look at the bigger picture, and then see what needs to be focused on. Sometimes, you might just be focusing too much on comment feedback and trying to write something that satisfies everyone instead of writing that satisfies you. You're the captain of this boat. You're decisions should ultimately be yours.

If you know your goal, you'll know the direction. There might be branches and diversions on the path, but you'll know which ones lead to your goal and which ones won't.
8/12/2022 c11 Guest
Mmmmmmmmmm new story
8/12/2022 c11 SuperSaiyajin4Vegeta
Completely understandable. I don't blame you for wanting to be better, and look forward to the rewrite.
8/12/2022 c11 2The Elder Sprite Knight
Keep up the good work, I love the story the character development isn't bad at all, there are a few very small inconsistencies, but it is still one of the best fanfictions I've read. Listen, every author makes mistakes, like hell, I do, and I have editors. If your doing this without an editor, your an absolute god among writers. Anyways, keep writing this story, so many people love it. Can't wait for the next chapter, Thank you!
8/12/2022 c11 vernacularthecynic
is aight
8/12/2022 c11 1DoomKnight-6642
I do not blame you for looking back at your work and seeing how it is not quite what you had imagined for it to be for when you first wrote it, it just shows how much you have grown as a writer since you first started. And, to be completely honest, it is quite hard to write a character that can ROFL stomp anything it is presented with in an interesting manner. To go back and make rewrites to your past work is something some writers are too prideful to do, even when it is something that they must do in order to improve their stories, so I applaud you for finding it within yourself to do it.
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