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6/26/2020 c1 CarnelianWing
This was fantastic! I thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end! When I initially saw that the story had an M rating, I was a little worried, but Pidge came out of all of this with only a broken leg and arm (and probably mentally scarred for life).

You did a very good job getting across the horror of the situation. Pidge was lured in and captured by a terrifying serpent alien who tormented all of his prisoners with inhumane conditions and experimentation. I think a lot of the horror lies in what could've happened to Pidge. She could've been burned alive and then strung back up to be infected and emaciated, and eventually die alone and terrified, had the others not come in time or had the planet not been so unstable. She really did get lucky, escaping with only a few broken bones. She's probably gonna receive quite the stern lecture from Ryner later on.

I love how horrifying the villain was; as if the two mouths and the snake-like body weren't enough, he spoke to Pidge in an affectionate manner (calling her pretty) while hurting her and preparing to torture her. The way he spoke was a far cry from how he acted. I know it's probably obvious at this point, but I love villains like that. Even the planet he lived on was unsettling, and it was just as broken up as his mind. I think that's pretty cool. I do wonder how Slick knew about the Paladins' existence though...

Thank you so much for writing this for me. It was a pleasure to read through, and it made me really happy. :)

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