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for Sword Art Online: Twin Blades

11/29/2020 c3 demigodninja21
You have this chapter in here twice.
11/29/2020 c7 Commissar Ciaphas Cain
What interest does the reader have in seeing Kirito and Asuna again investigate Griselda's death? help Silica resuscitate Pina? Kirito help Lisbeth in her quest to get Dark Repulsor?

you might as well read the novel or watch the anime for that.

you lack the knowledge and experience to write a good Sao story what makes your story boring and uninteresting, way too much copy and paste on the anime.
7/14/2020 c6 4Antex-The Legendary Zoroark
Good work! I enjoyed this!
7/11/2020 c5 Antex-The Legendary Zoroark
Excellent work! Omg! This was SO FREAKIN’ ADORABLE!
7/11/2020 c4 Antex-The Legendary Zoroark
Excellent work! Although I have a question. I can see that this is in multiple POVs, but it’s hard to tell which ones when at the beginning of a chapter, you say it’s someone like i.e. Asuna but it suddenly changes to Kirito or Leafa. My advice is to at least make it a bit more clear when the POV changes. That way you nor the readers will get confused.
7/10/2020 c3 Antex-The Legendary Zoroark
Good work! I assume that Venus (one of your characters) was meant to replace what Asuna did in SAO Canon? Intriguing! I look forward to more!
7/3/2020 c2 Antex-The Legendary Zoroark
Hm! Interesting start! I’d love to see more! Until your next update!
6/27/2020 c5 Commissar Ciaphas Cain
far too forced, I repeat that it makes no sense to follow canon sao, it's dumb, lazy and terrible writing.

if you really want to progress, register on spacebattle or questionable questing. they're forums with different threads for novels, stories, ideas, ...

good luck anyway
6/27/2020 c1 Commissar Ciaphas Cain
no matter how much you erase, your story lacks a clear direction, content, divergence between the canon and your story.
it has absolutely no sense of repeating the same scenes as in the novel if Suguha and Asuna are alongside Kirito, then Kirito's attitude will necessarily be different than the one he had in the canon.

Sachi's death has only one goal in the canon: to eliminate a rival for Kirito's heart.
it is also insulting the feelings that Suguha feels for Kazuto

If Sachi survives and Suguha is in the game, there is even less chance that Kirisuna will occur.

it's bad and terrible writing imo.

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