for Manaketes of Remnant9/14/2021 c1 Jure Rollo
Maybe it's just me, but I don't like it when OC's immediately get in Beacon for no reason at all. I know that Beacon is where the plot for RWBY got started, but usually in fics like this, the plot becomes predictable because we're just going through the same plot as the show with extra characters dropped in. We KNOW that Cinder is planning to attack, We KNOW who's really behind it all, so there is nothing really new or interesting about Beacon anymore at this rate.
You should've made the OCs more mysterious to the show's characters, that way their future decisions become unpredictable to us, and therefore more interesting.
Maybe it's just me, but I don't like it when OC's immediately get in Beacon for no reason at all. I know that Beacon is where the plot for RWBY got started, but usually in fics like this, the plot becomes predictable because we're just going through the same plot as the show with extra characters dropped in. We KNOW that Cinder is planning to attack, We KNOW who's really behind it all, so there is nothing really new or interesting about Beacon anymore at this rate.
You should've made the OCs more mysterious to the show's characters, that way their future decisions become unpredictable to us, and therefore more interesting.
5/24/2021 c2 
2Ethan Kironus
The pacing is a little hard to manage, but it's an entertaining story so far. It'll be interesting to see how you two balance the personalities of your characters.
2Ethan KironusThe pacing is a little hard to manage, but it's an entertaining story so far. It'll be interesting to see how you two balance the personalities of your characters.
1/1/2021 c2 Mark The Gamer of Grima
we did amazing on this chapter! cant wait till we work on the next one!
we did amazing on this chapter! cant wait till we work on the next one!
7/16/2020 c1 15TegamiBachi25
Nice beginning, man. I know literally next to nothing about RWBY. Should probably get to watching it, on an unrelated side not, but nice beginning. Can't wait to see what's next in store for the next chapter!
15TegamiBachi25Nice beginning, man. I know literally next to nothing about RWBY. Should probably get to watching it, on an unrelated side not, but nice beginning. Can't wait to see what's next in store for the next chapter!
7/3/2020 c1 MasterBlade47
Cool. I probably shouldnt be awake rn but bleh sleep is for the weak anyway. So we have Mark and Cayden both are Manakete's with Grima as the dragon being held. Nonetheless this seems interesting and I am ready to see the adventures that Cay and Mark embark on.
Cool. I probably shouldnt be awake rn but bleh sleep is for the weak anyway. So we have Mark and Cayden both are Manakete's with Grima as the dragon being held. Nonetheless this seems interesting and I am ready to see the adventures that Cay and Mark embark on.
6/30/2020 c1 2Mark The Gamer of Grima
this really did turn out great! lets keep up the good work, buddy!
2Mark The Gamer of Grimathis really did turn out great! lets keep up the good work, buddy!
6/30/2020 c1 4Antex-The Legendary Zoroark
This came out REALLY good! Virtual pats on the back for the both of us eh? Lol!
4Antex-The Legendary ZoroarkThis came out REALLY good! Virtual pats on the back for the both of us eh? Lol!