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for A Dark Saint's Heart

12/10/2020 c4 EmptySpot
I’m honestly interested in this story of yours but there are a few issues scattered around. Some are small like spelling; in the scene where Sophia sells her medicine at the black market, she calls what is described as vitamins, “victims.”
The soldier that gets his arm dislocated screams when Sophia sets it back in place but the dialogue is “Hya.” which suggests otherwise. I personally read it as a flat noise.
The flow of the story isn’t entirely bad but the parts where Sophia and Henry said “Let’s change the subject” were jarring. It fits their characters to be blunt and I can see them outright just saying they should change the subject but the way it was delivered in writing felt too sudden in my opinion.
Lastly, the fight scene this chapter. The fight itself was fine but it was when Sophia revealed her anger issues that I had questions. How does Sophia know that her “killing intent” would be enough to freeze a person in place? Has Sophia ever needed to kill someone, specifically in a fight? Is that why she’s so casual with semi-threatening another person?
Anyhow, I hope that was constructive criticism. I do actually enjoy reading this but the writing still has room for improvement, which isn’t necessary a bad thing! Having room to grow isn’t a bad thing because that just means you can still improve and I look forward to any improvements in the future. Great work btw, I’m curious about Sophia’s backstory!
11/29/2020 c17 Chretner
This is shaping up to be a very interesting story. I'm eager to see where you'll take this going forward.

Looking forward to the next chapter.
11/29/2020 c17 xenocanaan
Thank you for sharing another phenomenal chapter with us! I’m really excited to see the reunions, because I feel like they are not only going to be wonderful, but very informative. I look forward to reading more!
11/29/2020 c17 4Cavik
"I still need some growing up to do..."

Probably Sophia. But the fact you admit it proves you're on the right track.

Nice chapter here Sakura.
11/6/2020 c16 The-Killer40513
I kind of want Sophia and Robin to interact with each other.
10/29/2020 c16 xenocanaan
Morgan is the best! He deserves love and hugs! Thank you for sharing another wonderful chapter and I hope to read more soon!
10/21/2020 c15 Cavik
Maaan, what a chapter this was. From the escursion to Grannvale, to the assault on the Plegian capital, to Emmeryn, to that other Deadlord. Good job on this one.
10/20/2020 c15 xenocanaan
This was quite the rollercoaster of a chapter. This had so many twists and turns I wasn’t sure what would happen next. I look forward to reading more!
10/18/2020 c14 xenocanaan
Thank you for another amazing chapter! I can’t wait to read more!
10/10/2020 c13 SkullWolfSteam
so Sophia's been tortured and most likely possessed by something i feel emmyren might end up dieing to Sophia and not falling off grimes bones this time around so thats concerning. But great chapter overall my dude keep up the good work and i seriously cannot wait for the next one i wanna see if this plays out how i guessed.
10/10/2020 c13 xenocanaan
This was heartbreaking. I am really looking forward to the next chapter in the hopes it is at least a little brighter than this one.
9/24/2020 c12 xenocanaan
Sophia deserves a damn hug! I’m so glad she was able to save Morgan from becoming a slave! Thank you for this fantastic chapter! I hope to read more soon!
9/20/2020 c11 xenocanaan
I don’t blame her reaction to Arca. Thank you for this wonderful chapter and I hope to read more soon!
9/16/2020 c10 Chretner
What a twist at the end. I love what you've done so far. Looking forward to the next chapter.
9/13/2020 c10 xenocanaan
This was heartbreaking! I hope to read more soon!
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