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1/28 c2 Fake name faken
(The PRESS START to LAUGH intro is played, with the option scrolling from START to OPTIONS to EXTRAS then back up to OPTIONS and START. START is pressed as it fades to black)
"What if The Crew Talked in World of Warships?"
(Frozen Archipelago Map as the POV swings around a bit every now and then)
Roman (deep voice): Crew. Today we sail into battle. I will not lie. Most of you will not survive. But when I was made captain of this ship-
Mercury: You weren't made captain! You just pushed the other guy overboard and said you were taking over!
Roman: When I assumed command of this ship! Happy now?
Neo: Actually, isn't the first mate in command now?
Roman: Thank you, um…
Neo: Officer Politan, sir.
Roman: Okay, Politan. Who is, the first mate?
Watts: That'd be me, sir. First Mate Watts - AAAAAAHHHH! (he screams, then plunges into the freezing waters)
Roman: When I assumed command of this ship, I knew sacrifices must be made. That is why I will win.
(The ship starts moving)
Cinder: Don't you mean "we", sir?
Roman: If I meant "we", I would've said it. I am willing to throw EVERY body part you all have at the enemy. To insure that I get a medal of some kind. Now, full steam ahead! Let's get me that medal! Can I get an aye-aye?
Crew: Eh.
Roman: Good enough! You there, with the, face. What's your name, son?
Mercury: Black, sir.
Roman: Black. What do we have on the radar? (POV swerves to see the rest of the fleet approaching the islands)
Mercury: We spotted a ship off in the distance, sir. (A black-and-red blimp flies above)
Roman: Are we shooting at it?
Mercury: No?
Roman: (zooming in on said ship) Then shoot at it! Turn left so we can aim more guns at it!
Neo: Left?
Roman: Stard… Port. Whatever, I don't care. Make things go BOOM!
(SMPTE Color Bars. Then the Chester is seen facing a destroyer ship)
Cinder: We have a second ship incoming, sir! Destroyer class!
Roman: Then turn our side to it so we can BLOW IT out of the water! (ally shoots hit the Destroyer)
Cinder: That's an extraordinarily bad idea moron-I mean, sir.
Roman: WHY?! We're obliterating them!
Cinder: But, sir.
Roman: Listen, umm…
Cinder: Lieutenant Fall.
Roman: Lieutenant. If I wanted your advice I would ask for it.
Cinder: Torpedoes. (the destroyer's torpedoes launch)
Roman: I am familiar with them.
Cinder: No. They, fired torpedoes.
Roman: WHAT?
(The Chester is struck by two torpedoes)
Mercury: We've been hit, sir!
Roman: NO SH*T! (four more torpedoes approach)
Mercury: INCOMING! (the Chester goes up in a giant ball of flames)
Roman: Well, crap. STATUS REPORT!
Neo: Engines are dead! Guns are dead! 99% of the crew, are dead! We're sinking, I'm pretty sure we're down in the water, sir.
Roman: Do I get a medal now?
Cinder: No.
Roman: Damn. HOLY CRAP! That water's cold!
(SMPTE Color Bars. Now on the next iteration of the Chester)
Cinder: Oh, yeah. Yeah, he was just awful.
Neo: I know, right. At least we lived though. Hopefully our new captain is better.
Roman: Hello, crew. I am your new captain.
Crew: Oh no.
Roman: Oh, good! It appears some of you survived our last battle! Glad to have the old crew back together again.
Mercury: Oh, god. They gave you another ship?
Roman: Because I am a hero!... In the making. And I have a lot of blackmail on people.
Cinder: Can I put in for a transfer?
Roman: Denied! Now, I know our last mission was not as successful as I'd hoped. But we did make the record books.
Neo: For the fastest sinking of a ship, ever!
Cinder: We were sunk within three minutes of the battle starting.
Roman: That's what I call three minutes of success! This time, I plan to double that. (The Chester approaches the archipelago)
Mercury: Glad to know what my time of death will be.
Roman: Hehaha. I like your moxie kid. What was your name, again?
Mercury: (annoyed) Black.
Roman: Well, Black, congratulations. You're my new first mate.
Mercury: I though Watts was your first mate?
Roman: Oh, right. Watts!
Watts: Yes sir, oh god! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (plunges into the frozen ocean)
Roman: (whilst Watts is screaming) Black, congratulations. You're my new first mate.
Mercury: You could've just, demoted him.
Roman: Oh. Someone fetch Watts out of the water and tell him he's demoted.
Cinder: (sulking) I'll get him.
Roman: Full speed ahead!
(SMPTE Color Bars. Now using periscope to zoom in on another ship)
Neo: Direct hit, sir!
Roman: Excellent. Continue to fire! (Neo obeys, launching a volley of rockets towards that ship)
Mercury: We have another ship, dead ahead, sir! (we see that ship in front of the Chester)
Roman: Correct course and focus all fire on them!
(Cut to shooting at a smoking battleship getting shot at)
Cinder: Um, sir?
Roman: 'Sup?
Cinder: Torpedoes. (we see that the battleship has already launched its torpedoes)
Roman: We've been over this, Lieutenant. We don't have any.
Cinder: Nooooo. (the battleship keeps getting shot, as it almost blows up but gets closer. Beeping is heard)
Roman: What's that beeping?
Mercury: Incoming! (a torpedo hits the middle of the ship)
Mercury (freaked out): SECOND TORPEDO!
Roman: Ah, crap. (The Chester blows up very dramatically) Politan! Status report!
Neo (pissed): Whaddaya think?
Roman: Well, this time the captain goes down with the ship. Black, congratulations. You're being promoted.
Mercury: Nope, I'm out. (jumps into the water)
(SMPTE Color Bars. Now in an archipelago with cloudy skies and rocky mountains)
(On the VI Ranger Aircraft Carrier)
Roman: SO. Due to my, um…
Neo: Ineptitude?
Cinder: Incompetence?
Mercury: Brain damage?
Roman: Bravery in the face of insurmountable odds-
Roman: Command saw it fit to give me a BIGGER ship - that can't possibly lose. We've got planes now!
Cinder: They were tired of you sinking ships?
Roman: Something like that. I was told to stay as far away from battle as possible and to send our fighters in.
Neo: Oh, thank god.
Roman: So, good news! I've promoted us to pilots!
Neo: Oh, damnit.
Mercury: I'm not sure that's a promotion?!
Cinder: Sir? None of us know how to fly a plane.
Roman: There's no better way to learn than by doing!
Cinder: I don't think that applies to aviation.
Roman: Sure it does!
(SMPTE Color Bars. They're now in a group of 6 planes over the sea battle, talking via radios)
Roman: See, crew? This isn't so bad.
Cinder: Black's afraid of heights, sir.
Roman: Who decided to make him a pilot, then?
Cinder:-_-. That'd be you, sir.
Roman: Don't sass me, Fall. Who are all these other people around us?
Neo: Actual pilots?
Roman: That's probably good. BLACK! We're going in for our attack run!
Mercury: I DON'T WANNA!
Roman: We'll be fine. (the ship they were aiming for blows up) Aaand he blew up. Let's just - shoot some torpedoes in this area.
(Mercury's plane is hit and it begins smoking)
Mercury: AH! I'VE BEEN HIT!
Roman: Oh, stop whining! A few bullets never hurt anyone!
(SMPTE Color Bars. Cut to Roman and Mercury aiming for an enemy battleship)
Roman: Okay, Black. We've got this one! (Mercury's plane is shot and it hits his engine)
Roman: What did I say about whining? (The planes descend, but Mercury's nosedives)
Mercury: I’M GOING DOWN!
Roman: Umm… Fall, Politan. Can someone please go fish Black out of the water? (suddenly switches back to the VI RANGER)
(SMPTE Color Bars. Now in a tropical archipelago aboard a Sampson.)
Mercury: Back in a boat, sir?
Roman: Command decided that my skills were better suited to staying in the water and distracting enemy cannons.
Cinder: We're cannon fodder, sir?
Roman: I believe the word 'fodder' was involved, yes, but that's not the way I'd put it.
Cinder: I would.
Neo: Sir! We're receiving enemy radio chatter!
Roman: What're they saying, Politan?
Neo: It sounds like- cheering. They're saying "Yay, it's that guy again. Go for him. Go for him". (you audibly hear soft sobbing and facepalming)
Roman: They're speaking in code!
Neo: It's in Vytalian.
Roman: Black! Get to deciphering that message!
Mercury: It means we're doomed, sir.
Roman: Poppycock! Heh. That's a fun word. Anyway. Your deductive skills impress me, Black! We will be ready! (periscope shows no visible enemies straight ahead) Lieutenant Fall!
Cinder: (pissed) WHAT?
Roman: Tell Watts to report to the torpedo bay and prep them for use. We've got some ships to sink.
Cinder: Ours, sir?
Roman: Not. This time.
Neo: Huh.
Roman: What, Politan? More chatter?
Neo: The enemy seems to be taking bets on our demise.
(Mercury checks radar to see the 7 ships on their side, one enemy ship, and the 3 primary battle areas, but not any enemy ships just yet.)
Mercury: What are the odds?
Neo: Hm. 200-1. Not in our favor.
Mercury: Sounds about right.
(SMPTE Color Bars. The Sampson is in a massive armed fight with several battleships surrounding them. About 40% health left.)
Cinder: (nervous) We're taking heavy fire, sir!
Roman: Tell Watts to get those torpedoes ready!
Cinder: He's trying, sir, but they're jammed! (an ally battleship explodes)
Roman: TELL HIM TO STOP MAKING HIS SANDWICH and to get those TORPEDOES READY! (Cinder groans) Politan! Status report!
Neo: We've sustained heavy damage and can't take much more!
Roman: Black!
Mercury: Yes?
Roman: Prepare for a promotion.
Mercury: Damnit.
Cinder: Torpedoes are unjammed sir, uh, but-
Roman: "But" NOTHING! FIRE!
(The 4 torpedoes fire, heading towards the cruiser. However, one is screaming in a very familiar voice)
Roman: What's that sound?
Cinder: We just fired Watts out of a torpedo tube, sir. (the enemy ship explodes)
Roman: Wow. Watts was, highly effective. Politan, Fall. Someone go to that wreckage and retrieve Watts and load him back into the tube.
(SMPTE Color Bars. Now somehow in a V Omaha, they once again have launched Watts towards another ship.)
Watts: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (as volleys of rockets go for the enemy ship, it's Watts that blows it up)
Roman: Who knew Watts was one of our more powerful explosives?
(SMPTE Color Bars. Last enemy ship is ahead)
Roman: Fire!
(A volley of rockets hits it and it blows up.)
Neo: Enemy ship sunk!
Roman: Hahahaha! CREW! (Victory Banner shows) We've don't it! We've survived the battle! Well done! Medals for everybody!
Crew: YAY!
Roman: And hopefully they'll give us a bigger ship next time. Now, someone go get Watts.
(SMPTE Color Bars. Now they're on a New York Class Battleship)
Crew: Holy CRAP!
Roman: Yes, Crew. They gave us a BATTLESHIP! This baby has enough firepower to blow a hole in Remnant's crust.
Neo: Why do I feel like you're gonna test that?
Roman: No, we will not be testing it… yet. Full speed ahead!
(Zoomed in on an enemy ship close to an island dotted with trees)
Roman: (grumbling) Can't this thing go any faster?
Cinder: No. (she goes back to focusing on shooting the enemy)
Roman: Well can't someone reload our guns faster?
Cinder: No. (doesn't break focus on controlling gunfire)
Roman: Ugh. Black!
Mercury: Yes, sir?
Roman: Go push someone overboard for me. That should get them going.
Mercury: Yes, sir. (Throws someone who sounds like Watts overboard as they splash)
Cinder: Guns are loaded, sir. (sees an enemy Destroyer ship)
Roman: FIRE! (she does, and the enemy ship explodes instantly)
Crew: WOAH!
Roman: (maniacal laugh) WE ARE INVINCIBLE!
(SMPTE Color Bars)
Neo: You've sailed us directly into enemy territory, sir.
Roman: Good! We're just where they want us.
Cinder: That's… not… never mind.
Mercury: Enemy battleships spotted, sir.
Roman: Bah. Our guns are almost loaded. And once they are we'll BLOW THEM TO ORBIT.
Neo: Sir, they also have guns!
Roman: I said "Bah". We can take it. Have you seen how big our ship is? (zoom in to the enemy battleship)
Cinder: Guns are ready, sir.
Roman: FIRE! (they launch the full artillery of the New York, but the enemy ship is still floating) Why am I still seeing them? Shouldn't they be a smouldering wreck?
Cinder: Have you seen how big their ship is?
Neo: About 15 seconds, sir.
Roman: Uh oh.
Mercury: (as it happens) Incoming Fire! (The New York goes to a little under 50% health)
Neo: Reports of our invincibility are greatly exaggerated, sir.
Roman: Uoh. Crap. I CANNOT sink a battleship, I'll be ruined!
Mercury: You might wanna start working on your resumé, captain.
Roman: No! We're fine. We're fine! (the enemy ship rains fire on the New York) WE'RE NOT FINE! (the New York explodes)
Cinder: I'd say it's been an honour, sir, but I'd be lying.
Neo & Merc: Ditto.
(SMPTE Color Bars. They're now on a British Dreadnaught in another frozen archipelago)
Mercury: (to new ship) So, we all put in for a transfer and Command decided to lend us to the Mistrali navy.
Cinder: I gotta say, so far I'm impressed. You all are much more confident.
Neo: Yeah, just so long as your captain wasn't anything like ours.
Roman: (bad British Accent) 'Ello Guveners! I am yer new cap'n, mates.
Cinder: Oh, God.
Mercury: (in disbelief) He's here?
Neo: Is-is he doing a British accent?
Cinder: I have no idea what that is.
Roman: Blimey! Some a me old crew is here.
Mercury: Oh, for f***'s sake.
Cinder: Your accent may be against the Vytal Peace Accord.
Neo: He's gonna start a war with North Vale.
Roman: (worse Aussie Accent) Well, crikey! What do you mean?
Cinder: (whispering) He slipped into Menagian!
Neo: He's gonna start a war with Menagerie now!
Mercury: (bawling) I thought we were rid of you?!
Roman: Well that's no way for a new first mate to talk to his cap'n, is it?
Mercury: NOPE! (jumps into the freezing ocean)
Roman: I'll be he done jumped off!
Mercury: (in the distance) I'm defecting!
Cinder: Same. (jumps in after him)
Neo: Wait for me! He's your problem now, Mistral! (jumps in after them both)
Roman: Huh. Maybe I'd do better in a tank.
4/7/2022 c1 Anime100
This is truly interesting to read; please update soon

I wonder if all the chapters will be based on Jaune as the main character or will others shine?.

Please stay warm, safe and sound as well as Happy New Year!
11/23/2021 c1 Noahbadoah
I love this story! I would be thrilled to see more! Do keep up the good work!
2/17/2021 c1 Guest
Can you do re:zero with oscar as subaru?
2/16/2021 c1 3Cosmo-Writer42
I see this fic has potential. And as an author (from Wattpad) I’m interested of this story and the reactions, especially Godzilla, Transformers, Venom, Sonic, Sherlock Holmes and Megaman. Can’t say I cannot wait, but please take it slowly ignore people who beg you to upload, like making a story it takes time and you don’t need to rush. Us audience will be patient and we will see what chapters you have wrote.

Good luck and stay safe!
12/22/2020 c1 Midnightwolf64
This is great I hope you update soon I'm looking forward to the next chapter
12/2/2020 c1 Guest
How about a crossover fanfiction with Fate Grand Order with the Echos trying to enter the mutliverse of the Nasuverse with Chris meeting Chaldea and Ritsuka's servants after the new threat that rivals Goetia and Beasts but now in huge numbers arrives knocking on their reality's doorstep and threaten all timelines, the Throne of Heroes, and the Root of Akasha itself.

After Zelretch arrives to Chaldea but in a extremely injured and fearful state about monsters from outside their multiverse that are coming for them all and that he needs to warn them with Chris arrives in their realm at first exploring the Nasuverse but soon realizes the Echos are starting to invade the realm mysteriously and now he must protect it and soon Chaldea will find him in a unlikely encounter.
10/23/2020 c1 Guest
Black Hawk Down
9/29/2020 c1 Ohma Revive

I didn't even reach the summary of this story before noticing a spelling mistake with the title!

Why did you word it that way?

RWBY Watches Alternate Universes?

Just title it "RWBY Watch Alternate Universes" instead of this title. You don't need to make "Watch" into plural form if you put "Universes" at the end of the title. It only becomes "Watches" if you didn't out a S at the end of "Universe"!

From one of you superiors,

Ohma Revive (of SpaceBattles)
8/25/2020 c1 8triscythe59
Interesting chapter. I hope you continue. Do you have plans on making a Persona 5 chapter? That would be awesome if you do.
8/3/2020 c1 3RXWriter
Good start. Promising story and not a bad idea to have another fic focused on the orginal source material.

I'm more excited to see how you do Digimon: The Movie. Mainly because I recently wrote a chapter on it and want to see how you'll handle it.
8/2/2020 c1 Guest
Hope you update your Akame Ga Kill Crimson Phantom series with chapter 3 one day mate.
7/18/2020 c1 5LightDusk16
This is off to a great start man! I love reaction fics like this and I especially love the line up of reactions you have in store (specifically that Digimon one, cause that is a seriously a series that needs more love).

I really look forward to where this is going, and I hope you can beat back writers block long enough to keep this fic going for awhile!

Also, quick question about reactions. Will you be doing other fanfics as part of the universes that the cast react to? Not a lot of react fics do that and the few I’ve read were always entertaining, especially Jaune harem ones (cause god the reaction from the cast to that scenario is just glorious).
7/12/2020 c1 Guest
Here's the rest.
54. How about a youtouber who plays indie/horror games? He could either be Pewdiepie, Markiplier, or Caspersight (you probably don't know who he is, he's like the first 2 but with a cool English accent), or he could even be the characters in those horror games, you could just have them react to jump scares that get him.
55. Happy Gilmore and Cardin could either be that one asshole trying to win the gold jacket, or he could literally be the golf ball (the golf ball part just sounded funny, not really meant to be taken seriously).
56. Ben from Ben 10 the original series, or Generator Rex, or one of them from the Ben 10 Generator Rex Heroes United movie.
57. The Wild movie, with Jaune as Benny the squirrel and Pyrrha as Bridget the giraffe.
58. Hunter X Hunter, Kurapika and not just because he's blonde, I can picture Jaune as him if his family was killed, and because the show also has Hunters.
59. My Hero Academia, at a loss for which character though (definitely not Bakugo), interesting because unlike Semblances, Quirks can actually alter the body.
60. How about that Portal phone tv commercial? Jaune and his sister are talking through tablets.
Jaune: Happy birthday.
Sister: You remembered!?
Jaune: Of course, your my sister.
Sister: What did you get me?
He proceeds to pick up a sickly looking plant.
Jaune: I got you...this.
Sister: It's half dead.
Jaune: Just like you.
Sister: Oooooh! Oh you wait til your birthday come!
Jaune: Hahaha!
The guy in the commercial laughed with joy and I'm pretty sure the sister knew he was just fooling around, but I found this commercial to be funny.
61. How about the South Park movie and instead of one scene it's the entire movie? Jaune as Stan since they both throw up, Pyrrha as Wendy, so yes, we have a reverse Jaune and Pyrrha situation, Ren as Kyle, Cardin as Cartman, Dr Oobleck as Mr Garrison, Ozpin as God who is a rat, Salem as Satan and Tyrian as Sadam Hussein, honestly have no idea who other characters would be.
62. Dylan, and Pyrrha as Regina from Dino Crisis, considering Dylan is a blonde and Regina is a red-head.
63. Hogarth, Arthur Watts as that one detective, and Ironwood as the general from The Iron Giant.
64. Titan A.E, or the E would probably be replaced with R for Remnant.
65. Treasure Planet, Jaune as the main human character.
66. Hellboy, and Pyrrha as Liz, or it could even be the other way around, Pyrrha could be a female Hellboy/Girl, it could either be the movie (the original ones, not the new one), or the anime, either one would be fine.
67. Beavis, (bizarre, I know, and Ren could be Butthead), but how about Beavis & Butthead Do Remnant/or Vale?
68. As the main baby from Baby Geniuses.
69. Ace Ventura, either the first one or Pet Detective.
70. Alone In The Dark, either the game or the movie, either way would be fine.
71. The astronaut from Planet 51.
72. Scott Pilgrim, and Pyrrha as Ramona Flowers.
73. Either the main rat or the main human character from Ratatouille.
74. Coop, and Pyrrha as Kiva, and maybe Ren as Jaime from M.E.G.A.S. X.L.R, the E (Earth) in M.E.G.A.S could be replaced with an R (Remnant) and still be pronounced the same, just spelled M.R.G.A.S.
75. Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. The episode where Cheese is introduced, you know, where he says to Eduardo "I like cereal"! Jaune could either be Cheese, Wilt, or even Max. Coco as the bird-like thing where Cheese points to a box of coco on the table but Coco thinks he is calling her by name, and Ozpin as Mr Herriman and Cheese again says the same thing "coco", it works because Ozpin drinks hot-coco.
76. Men In Black 2. Jaune's Semblance could be a second head that he grows called Johnny that he has to keep in his book-bag. At some point Johnny could pop out in front of Weiss or Pyrrha and go "ya like egg-salad"?
77. My Abominable Monster Classmates Can't Be This Cute by Mallobaude. It's about Jaune being accidentally admitted into Grimm school run by Salem, similar to Rosario Vampire, if you're okay with doing a fanfic.
78. There's another story I read called Weiss Doesn't Understand Slang also by Mallobaude, it was really funny, if you're okay with doing a fanfic.
79. There's 2 stories I read by the same guy called Naccarat. One's called Jaune's Grimmhand, it's basically about Jaune coming across a Grimm similar to Migi from Parasyte The Maxim. The second one is called Fracture, it's about Jaune's Semblance being similar to Mob's power from Mob Psycho 100, he just can't stop breaking things, if you're okay with doing a fanfic.
80. How about the season finale of season 13 of Supernatural? The one where Lucifer (Jaune) comes back to Earth from Apocalypse Earth with Michael, Emerald could be Maggie while Oscar could be Jack, or how about the episode where Lucifer grills Dagon for letting Castiel get away with his son, Cinder as Dagon, Jaune as Lucifer, and Ozpin as Castiel, Jaune could go "wait a minute, you let the Xiao-Long's pursedog, take my son?" then proceeds to scream.
81. What about one where Jaune is from Earth and ends up on Remnant? Instead of having Aura, it's the 7 Chakras (which he doesn't know about, along with most people on Earth), and the Aura chant by Pyrrha removes the seal on them, and he grows more powerful with every Chakra he unlocks. This would confuse everyone because every time a Chakra unlocks, it's almost like he's unlocking his Aura multiple times and they would think each one was a different colored Aura, and when the 7th one unlocks, he essentially becomes a god like either the Brothers or God with a capital G.
82. Sunny from Big Daddy, have no idea who would be Corrine or her sister or even the kid.
83. Kevin, the main character from Split, Pyrrha as Patricia, Ozpin or Salem as the 24th personality, other personalities could be other people from the show.
84. A Jaune that makes fun of web videos. Rob Dyrdek (Ridiculousness), Daniel Tosh (Tosh.0), and Chris Hardwick ( /AtMidnight, and Web Soup).
85. Samus Aran from any of the Prime games, although I would like the beginning of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption where the GF ship comes under attack by Space Pirates, have them not know Jaune is actually a girl until they see the word she or her.
86. RWBY: A Grimm Fate by Crusader76, it's about a Beowolf turning into a Faunus do to the actions of Ruby and then becoming a student at Beacon Academy, if you're comfortable with doing a fanfic.
87. How about a Jaune that makes fun of the news? Stephen Colbert (Late Show), James Corden (Late Late Show), and Trevor Noah (Daily Show).
88. This is a rather long one but, Jaune has Buggy The Clown's Chop Chop fruit but as a Semblance. His Semblance activates during his fight with Cardin while Jaune is charging towards him, his body literally falls apart, not that Jaune knows that, Cardin seeing Jaune's body parts still charging him (more like hopping after him and wondering how Cardin got taller) freaks out then drops his mace and runs out of the arena screaming while giving Jaune a victory by ring-out, Jaune says "yeah, you better run" while his head and the rest of his body are hopping up & down, he then turns to the audience & sees them looking at him in horror with many people having their hands over their mouths, Jaune says "what?" Jaune asked while wondering why they seemed closer and he was closer to the floor, then turns around and sees his body in pieces, at this point you should have Jaune freak out and start crying thinking he's either dead or dying while he & the rest of his body hop all over the place while his head and his foot run into each other, have Ruby beat Pyrrha to Jaune & hold his head against her chest saying soothingly "Shhh, you're okay Jaune", while Pyrrha only half way out of her chair goes ("NO, I WANTED TO HOLD HIM/HIS HEAD!"). For the last part, have Glynda help put Jaune back together with her telekinesis while going ("I know I'm a therapist but this is ridiculous, I cannot believe I have to LITERALLY put a student back together"!). Later on when Jaune has control over his Semblance, Nora could take Jaune's head before it reconnects saying she is conducting an experiment while Ren looks on in shock, she proceeds to shove a spoonful of food in his mouth telling him to hold it while she puts her ear to Jaune's stomach, she then tells him to swallow and hears this, "gurgle". Then have Nora go "Renny! It still went into his stomach!". Lastly, have Ren run over and go "Nora, while that is fascinating, I never thought I would have to tell you this but, we don't steal people's heads".
89. Shaggy from the Scooby Doo movie, Ruby as Scooby/Ruby Doo. I couldn't help but think of that one scene, Ruby goes "rour rom reats rat roop", Shaggy/Jaune goes "no Ruby Doo, your mom eats cat poop".
90. How about one where Jaune eats a magic mushroom? That one web video where the guy goes "Mooooooooooom! get the shovel, get the shovel, all the meat I've eaten today...I forgive myself", and he's trying to get out of the stretcher straps by going "kaboozh, kaboozh".
91. How about Jaune as Phillip in South Park, Terrance & Phillip. They come to Beacon to perform, Ozpin doesn't know who they are and allows them to, they end up singing the Uncle Fucker song.
92. Remember in South Park when the Canadians bombed the Baldwins? Maybe the Canadians could either be replaced with the Faunus or some other faction, and the Baldwins could be replaced with the Blacks, you know, Mercury Black, Marcus Black and any other members of the Black family, Dr. Oobleck/Mr. Garrison could go "all the Blacks are dead"!?, and Marcus or Mercury could be the one guy they missed "haha you missed me-GACK", gets hit with a random missile. If it's Marcus that's killed, then Mercury would laugh, if it's Mercury that's killed, then Emerald would laugh.
93. How about the scene in South Park where the military is preparing to go to war with Canada/Remnant's equivalent of it, Dr. Arthur Watts could be Bill Gates who is killed by the General who could be portrayed by Ironwood who kills Arthur for either Salem's or Tyrian's face appearing in the hologram. Have Ironwood tell Adam (who is Chef) and the rest of Adam's men that they will be "Operation Faunus Shield", have Adam ask him "have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation"? Then have Ironwood respond with "no, I don't listen to hip-hop". Maybe also have the scene where Adam and his men jump out of the way of missiles saying "Operation Faunus Shield my ass".
94. How about one where Jaune's mom gives birth to 2 hands? Master Hand and Crazy Hand, Jaune as the first one and basically they have their powers from Super Smash Bros. Crazy Hand upon meeting Ozpin with Master Hand/Jaune sitting next to Ruby in the interrogation room, could go "let's play thumb wars!" while holding up his thumb, Ozpin could respond "I'm afraid you are far too big for my hand" unknowingly walking right into a sexual innuendo, much to his chagrin. Now, while next to Yang on the launch pads, he could say the same thing but Yang's response could be "I'm afraid I am FAR too big for your hand" she could say with a shit eating grin, Crazy Hand could either flee screaming "AH, IT'S A MAN!", or he could slowly switch places with Ruby pushing her with his finger so she's next to Yang, while Yang could burst out laughing.
95. As Thanos in both Infinity War and Engame, the cast will be confused because he is a villain but believes himself to be a hero. Nora could be Thor while Ren is Loki, it would really shock them when Jaune kills Ren who is basically Nora's brother.
96. Quicksilver in X-Men Apocalypse where he saves everyone from Beacon Academy/Xavier Institute, that one scene, or that and him eventually trying to fight Apocalypse.
97. See if you can guess what this is.
"Momma had a chicken, momma had a cow, dad was proud he didn't care how". Jaune's mom basically gives birth to a Cow and a Chicken, Jaune as Chicken from Cow & Chicken, Cow could be one of his sisters.
98. Loopy Fist, like Rock Lee. When Jaune was younger, accidentally drank alcohol and nearly destroyed half of Vale/Vale City, and is now not allowed to ever have any just like Nora isn't allowed caffeine. How about he fights Cinder instead of Pyrrha, tries to take Aura-Booster medicine, but mistakingly grabbed alcohol, and destroys Cinder without even realizing it. Ren could probably respond with "he's probably not as bad as Nora, the host could respond with "Did Nora ever nearly destroy half of Vale? Just like Nora isn't allowed caffeine, Jaune isn't allowed alcohol".
99. What about Jaune having a form similar to Naruto's Four-Tailed form? It could either be against Salem or Cinder. This could be a Grimm version of the Kyuubi, the eyes could red-Grimm eyes but still round, and when his skin peels away, could be a swirling black instead of red. He could transform do to his anger and hatred (unlocking a Negative-Aura if you will) for Cinder or Salem, either one of them could replace Orochimaru or be themselves.
100. Same as 99 but instead of the Kyuubi, it's Ichigo's Hollow form from Bleach, Salem could be herself, or Ulquiorra.
101. How about Jaune as secretly an SCP Agent in Beacon Academy, he knows how to fight SCPs but not Hunters or Grimm, maybe have them witness him taking on SCPs like 173 "Sculpture" or 682 "Hard-To-Kill-Lizard", any Keter class or even Euclid and Thaumiel class, a good friendly one to have them see is 999 "Tickle Monster". You could even have him as a Class-D trying to survive inside the Foundation's test site during the breach. Lastly, remember SCP-1471 (I've been incorrectly putting it as 1741) "Mal0", how about Jaune downloads the app by accident or as a test (considering the Foundation knows very little about this SCP) and actually lasts the longest and Mal0 (the sexualized/female version) ends being that world's Pyrrha, just with red fur and she could end up calling Jaune "Senpai".
102. Killer B from Naruto, can only imagine their reactions to him rapping and then transforming into a rapping octopus.
103. A member of the Impractical Jokers. I can picture him as either Sal or Murr.
104. I have an idea on 2 good universes they could watch. Attack On Titan and God Eater. Both have monsters that want to destroy humanity, both have protective walled cities, and both are impossible to survive outside those cities.
105. Attack On Titan Abridged with Jaune as either Erin or Armin.
106. Jaune as Caveman and Ren as Adam from Kings Of Pain.
P.s. I know these are long-ass reviews of request lists, but you can delete these if you want, it won't bother me. Lately the last few have been getting cut off when I post this on react fics, this is why I started halving it.
7/12/2020 c1 Guest
I don't know if you take requests and I won't get upset if you don't use these (sorry, I have a lot, but I make this same post for every new react fic, I have 106 of them, no joke, so I'll half it then post the other half), but I would like to see Jaune as,
1. The baby from Ice Age and Sid, Manny, and Diego are all Grimm versions of themselves.
2. The Waterboy, or his Semblance is Super Tackling.
3. Sebastion Castellanos, and Pyrrha as Kidman from The Evil Within, the place you first go to is literally called Beacon's Mental Hospital, even though it has nothing to do with RWBY.
4. Leon S. Kennedy from Resident Evil 2 or 4, Ethan from Resident Evil 7, Chris from the Not A Hero RE7 DLC, Joe Baker from The End Of Zoe RE7 DLC, or RE3 with either Ruby or Pyrrha as Jill Valentine, and finally, what about Jaune as Leon and Ren as Chris (Ren Redfield) in RE6, Jaune and Helena fighting Simmons either on top of the train or at the end and Ren and Pearce either fighting the Ogromans or Haos in the end.
5. Henry from Silent Hill Homecoming, or a main character from any Silent Hill game.
6. Bruce Almighty and he makes a monkey come out of Cardin's ass.
7. Flint Lockwood from Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs and Pyrrha as Sam Sparks.
8. One Piece: Either Bartholomew Kuma and he poofs Cardin all the way to the Belladonna household and thinks Ghira is going to eat him, or Buggy The Clown and he takes off his own head and puts it in Weiss' hands tricking her into thinking he is giving her a gift, or just have them react to the fact that Jaune is immune to being cut up.
9. Saitama or Genos from One Punch Man, maybe even as Boros vs Saitama, or even Garou fighting S-Class/Professional Hunters, he could catch either Weiss' or Winter's rapier like he did with Spring Mustachio.
10. One of the pilots from Idependence Day/Resurgence.
11. Isaac Clarke from Dead Space, with Pyrrha as either his dead girlfriend, or she is Ellie from the 2nd/3rd one.
12. Limbo, Inside, Home Sweet Home, and Little Nightmares (these are indie horror games).
13. Ichigo from Bleach fighting Hollows and not Grimm.
14. Turok from either the original games or the 360 version.
15. Doomguy/Slayer fighting actual demons on Mars and not Grimm.
16. DJ from Monster House, and Pyrrha as Jenny (don't know who Chowder would be).
17. Cat Noir from Miraculous with Ruby as Ladybug, Jaune would basically be a cross between Blake (cat suit) and Yang (cat puns/blonde hair).
18. Sitcoms/other shows (Last Man Standing, 2 & A Half Men, Anger Management, How I Met Your Mother, Person Of Interest, and Elementary).
19. Pacman from Pacman And The Ghostly Adventures, Betrayus and Salem look eerily similar in appearance do to their coloration, and the ghosts respawn almost the same way Grimm do, be pretty funny for Salem to get greatly annoyed by Betrayus.
20. Movies (Gremlins, Critters, Alien/Predator/vs, Mimic).
21. Master Chief from Halo fighting actual aliens and not Grimm.
22. Dante from Dante's Inferno.
23. Solid Snake from Metalgear Solid/Raiden from Sons Of Liberty or the one from Snake Eater.
24. Soul from Soul Eater and he is basically Ruby's scythe.
25. Garcia from Shadows Of The Damned (his weapon is literally called the Boner).
26. The dude from Shadow Of The Colossus.
27. Master of weapons and weapon summoning from Ninja Gaiden, Onimusha, Dante's Inferno, Kingdom Hearts (Organization 13's weapons, not the keyblades), Devil May Cry, Blazblue, and Naruto (Hidan's Scythe and Kisame's Sharkskin), or Jaune uses the weapon summoning and be combat proficient with just scythes. Eclipse from Ninja Gaiden, Death's Scythe from Dante's Inferno, Graceful Dahlia from Kingdom Hearts, Maka's Scythe from Soul Eater, Bloodscythe from Blazeblue, and Three-Bladed Scythe from Naruto.
28. Osmosis Jones, not sure who other characters would be, Pyrrha could be that one female blood-cell and Salem could be Thrax/Thraxa? It just sounded interesting to have Jaune as a white blood-cell, maybe in Qrow's body?
29. Donkey, and Pyrrha as Dragon from Shrek.
30. Lord Beerus/Lord Arcus, Yang as Super Sai-YANG-God. Would also like to see their reactions to him blowing up half a planet with a tap of his finger because he found their food only half good, and blowing up a planet because he changed his mind about dinosaur meat. Even the Brother Gods fear him (not that they know who he is at first, they could be guests abord the yacht, which Arcus decides to beat the crap out of over pudding).
31. Martin/Jaune Kratt/Arc from the Wild Kratts with his brother Chris, they could be called the Wild Arcs, or Kratts since Zach constantly calls them the Wild Rats. Aviva, Koki, and Jimmy would be the same. No Grimm (or they along with Salem die a couple of decades or centuries before canon, or they just never existed, which causes a lot of animals to come out of hiding, and the rest of the world can now be explored) just wild life exploration and animal rescue with creature power suits, along with their usual villains (Gaston Gourmand, Zach Varmitech, Donita Donata, and Paisley Paver)
32. My Gym Partner's A Monkey, Beacon is a school for animals, Jaune is mistakenly sent there, and Sun becomes his best friend who is an actual monkey.
33. Max Steel, Ironwood as Forge Ferrus, and Tyrian as that one psychotic character (can't remember his name).
34. Eren Yaeger from Attack On Titan (actual Titans, or Titan Grimm, either way would be cool), or how about everyone are Grimm versions of themselves? The cast could go "wait, if we are Grimm then what do we fight against to protect the world from" (Titans/humans)? The world would have to be a little bigger and a flying Titan would have to be introduced. This might be a little difficult though, if I recall, there are less species of Titans than there are of Grimm.
35. Dr Doolittle, and it's Ozpin's butt he sniffs as a child.
36. Lucifer from Supernatural. Jaunifer? Arcifer? That one episode where they need Lucifer's grace to open a portal to Apocalypse World, after Gabriel's grace failed the second time.
37. Hancock, and Cardin is the little kid he throws into the atmosphere.
38. Your story is Rated-M right? How about the South Park movie, the scene where they are in school right after they've seen the Terrance and Phillip movie, and they swear in Mr Garrison's class. Ren as Kyle, Jaune as Kenny, Cardin as Cartman, Doctor Oobleck or Port as Mr Garrison, don't know who would be the other kids, while Ozpin as Mr Mackey says to the boys "boys, I seriously doubt Port/Oobleck would say something like, uhh, eat penguin shit you ass-spelunker".
39. I don't know if you would get in trouble for a reaction to a fanfic so if this makes you uncomfortable you don't have to do this, but How about Exxxtra Credit by Constable Paperbag, maybe just the funny parts? I found this story to be really funny, it's about Jaune trying to seduce Glynda Goodwitch so he can get passing grades but fails in the most hilarious ways.
40. Spooner from I-Robot, maybe Weiss as the one scientist I can't remember the name of.
41. Brock Lesnar (I know, bizarre, but it popped into my head) Jauck Lesnar? Brock Arc? Maybe a fight against Samoa Joe (or maybe have him as other wrestlers, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, Braun/Jaun Strowman, Bray Wyatt/Wyatt Family/The Fiend, or as Daniel Bryan vs Brock Lesnar fight), you know, if you watch wrestling.
42. Ragdoll, the one from The Batman, not that horrible portrayal of him in The Flash, they completely ruined his character, stupid costume, and he wasn't supposed to be a Meta-Human, just triple jointed, I was really looking forward to that episode to.
43. As the main character in the Singularity game (can't remember the name of the guy, been a long time since I've played it).
44. As one of the Angry Birds, or maybe Jaune in his human form somehow ends up in the Angry Birds world, either the one with the red one the white one and the yellow one or the one where the Pigs worship a Bird named Gale (this popped into my head but either way, I can't picture him understanding them).
45. Shinichi from Parasyte The Maxim (I would like the scene where Shinichi is in the bathroom at school, Migi tries to erect him because he doesn't know what it is, and a random student (maybe Ren?) next to him says "you know, it's kinda hard to take a wiz standing next to a guy talking to his pecker".
46. How about Jaune in a Remnant where Ozpin's and Salem's roles are reversed (Ozpin is King Of The Grimm while Salem is Headmistress of Beacon Academy).
47. As characters from One Piece; as Chopper using his rumble balls, as Brooke in the episode where they actually meet him, as Roronoa Zolo vs Kaku or vs Kuma, as Gekko Moria or his Semblance is shadow manipulation, as Luffy vs Lucchi or vs Gekko Moria's giant form, as Kaku or his Semblance literally lets him turn into a giraffe version of himself, and as Kuma destroying Thriller Bark.
48. As characters from Naruto; as Kimimaro or his Semblance is bone manipulation, as Kakashi or his Semblance lets him copy other Semblances and he has 1000 of them, as Kakuzu along with his weird blob like things in his body, as Kisame or his weapon is literally Sharkskin, as Hidan and he is literally killing Asuma then fighting Kakashi or his weapon is the Three-Bladed Scythe his name could be Hidaune or Hijaune, and as Rock Lee vs Gaara in the Chunin exams.
49. Kingdom Hearts where he is either Sora and he first receives his Keyblade and has to defend Destiny Islands, his home, from the Heartless that first show up, or he is a member of Organization 13 and we get to see Ruby react to the organization's bizarre weapons.
50. James And The Giant Peach, don't know who would be the other characters.
51. Jaune as Naruto following Qrow as Jiraiya to get training from him, Qrow in order to get rid of the brat asks him to get him a pair of melons, nice curvy ones, Jaune gets a watermelon that looks more like two connected ones and looks like a woman's assets, just like in the episode.
52. Fletcher from the Liar Liar movie and Pyrrha as the wife, maybe Ruby or Oscar as the kid?
53. Jaune as the Deadpool in the video game (if you've played this). Remember the blowup doll? How about that could be Pyrrha, Jaune's alter personality just like in the game could go "we're not going to stick our penis in that are we"? Jaune could go "you know it's funny, I still have no idea who this is" after doing god knows what with it.
I,'ll post the other half shortly.
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