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7/15 c1 4Western-Otaku
Nicely written! Exceptionally good for a first fic, no spelling or grammar mistakes and everyone feels in character. I'm looking forward to the full story getting put out soon.
7/8 c1 Reader 4
Excited for future updates
7/8 c1 Guest
CONTINUE ONWARDS BROTHER
7/7 c1 Guest
Premise sounds like a good read, also considering that you're not leaving this at being a one-shot. Shinji trying to understand Asuka is a regular theme in most docs but that theme being the main premise/idea is pretty rare actually, so this sounds really interesting. Love the writing style too, it's not written in building-sized paragraphs and the idea of each sentence is easily recognizable. You're off to a good start with this chapter. Hope to see the next chapter soon!
7/7 c1 James Birdsong
Nice
7/7 c1 Guest
Awesome chapter, I really like the premise and execution of this introduction. Excited to see where you take this fix.
7/7 c1 Guest
I hope to see more
7/7 c1 q
I always enjoy Eva fics that just have the characters...real talk if only for a moment to get the ball rolling for progress; plus you managed to keep them in character which is always appreciated!
This was a good first fic to post and I'm looking forward to more!
7/7 c1 Alexsanderlay
nice, small conversation to start the fanfic prefix. continue this is good shinji who hears the words of the kaji "Oh yeah, Shinji! When women bother you! That means they need your attention!" Will Shinji pay more attention to Asuka or something that leads to Asushin? whatever go ahead fanfic you have a sweet start.
7/7 c1 Huagh
You said you’re incorporating this into a longer fic, and I just want to know if you mean this current one, or a separate fic that begins from some other place which will have this one in it. Because this was a really good little fic for a first time. Only real criticism are I think you could do a better expressing body language. I don’t really like the line “Shinji said nothing but made a a face that clearly said ‘Yike’.” I think a simple, “Shinji cringed at that” or “That made Shinji grimace”, something along those lines. Also, there are small parts where we see what Kaji is thinking without him verbalizing it. Even though this is written from a third-person perspective, this scene is still following Shinji. I think it would be better for us to not know what others are thinking if Shinji doesn’t know what they’re thinking. You can still write in that Kaji was thinking something through body language, and if the thought was important just simply have him verbalize it. Still good stuff though
7/7 c1 howahotgluegun
This was an interesting read. The dialogue for shinji and Kaji felt spot on, and the premise was good. Your prose was also well done. A few criticisms would be that the random disapproval of characters (“he felt it was a little mean-spirited” and continued) felt a little out of place, but maybe that’s just me. Also, asuka didn’t really hit shinji in the series besides two times. Overall, I’d like to see this expand into a longer read.

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