for Souls Aligned5/16 c1 Natalie4q6
I just found this site on Reddit called Storio (storioai dot com). They provide AI tools for fast fiction writing and turning chapters into playable scenes. Just leaving this here in case someone else finds it useful.
I just found this site on Reddit called Storio (storioai dot com). They provide AI tools for fast fiction writing and turning chapters into playable scenes. Just leaving this here in case someone else finds it useful.
3/11 c20 Tutu
"I promise an update before christmas!"
WELL... ))
"I promise an update before christmas!"
WELL... ))
3/11 c13 Tutu
So, they don’t like bullies and don’t want to steal the book, but they’re okay with secretly copying it—which is basically the same as taking someone’s work without permission. Feels a bit contradictory, don’t you think? :)
So, they don’t like bullies and don’t want to steal the book, but they’re okay with secretly copying it—which is basically the same as taking someone’s work without permission. Feels a bit contradictory, don’t you think? :)
3/11 c11 Tutu
I keep noticing that you’re over-explaining things the reader already understands. For instance, there was no point in telling us again that time travel is confusing, since you already showed Hermione worrying and following Harry and Lily. The repetition of certain thoughts slows the pacing—trust your readers, we don’t need the same reflections every chapter. I know this might sound like nitpicking, and you might not want to delete anything or shrink the chapter, but just something to keep in mind for the future. Keep it sharp, keep it moving—it would be better. Overall, the plot is fluffy and cute.
I keep noticing that you’re over-explaining things the reader already understands. For instance, there was no point in telling us again that time travel is confusing, since you already showed Hermione worrying and following Harry and Lily. The repetition of certain thoughts slows the pacing—trust your readers, we don’t need the same reflections every chapter. I know this might sound like nitpicking, and you might not want to delete anything or shrink the chapter, but just something to keep in mind for the future. Keep it sharp, keep it moving—it would be better. Overall, the plot is fluffy and cute.
3/11 c10 Tutu
It's nice story.
Didn't get why James didn't try for Seeker position though
It's nice story.
Didn't get why James didn't try for Seeker position though
3/11 c9 Tutu
You’re repeating the same reflections over and over: I miss Ron, but this had to be done; it’s so good to be back at Hogwarts, but it still feels strange; it’s so comfortable with Harry, but we’re just friends; oh, Lily, oh James, and so on. Look, we readers aren’t idiots—we got it the first time. The problem is that some of these points keep circling back chapter after chapter.
You’re repeating the same reflections over and over: I miss Ron, but this had to be done; it’s so good to be back at Hogwarts, but it still feels strange; it’s so comfortable with Harry, but we’re just friends; oh, Lily, oh James, and so on. Look, we readers aren’t idiots—we got it the first time. The problem is that some of these points keep circling back chapter after chapter.
3/11 c5 Tutu
They should talk with Dumbledore first to see if their lwgend works
They should talk with Dumbledore first to see if their lwgend works
3/11 c4 Tutu
A bit off that they will pretend to be siblings, considering of the pairing
A bit off that they will pretend to be siblings, considering of the pairing
3/11 c2 Tutu
Didn't expect them to go in Gr. tower, you know, cause of wrong interactions, but hope you know what you do
Didn't expect them to go in Gr. tower, you know, cause of wrong interactions, but hope you know what you do
3/11 c1 Tutu
Well, intriguing. At this point, seems their best move is to find a nice, quiet hole to hide in (not like that, get your mind out of the gutter) and wait until their original selves are born. Because, let’s be real—one wrong sperm, and boom, no Harry, but some Haroldina who wants to have Malfoy as a boyfriend. Lol
Well, intriguing. At this point, seems their best move is to find a nice, quiet hole to hide in (not like that, get your mind out of the gutter) and wait until their original selves are born. Because, let’s be real—one wrong sperm, and boom, no Harry, but some Haroldina who wants to have Malfoy as a boyfriend. Lol
1/4 c4 Duellist
I like the premise of this fic. Time travel fits are a thing for me.
Timeline Maths: In the original timeline, in 1998, Hermione is 18, about to turn 19. Harry is 17, about to turn 18. They have bounced to 1975. If they are going to claim to be twins in 1975, born to a couple that married at 17 and 16 in 1957, then their “parents” weren’t old when they were born - they were barely married teens. If the girl was pregnant when they married, or got pregnant immediately after the wedding, they were born in 1957 or 1958, and they have to claim to be 17. If they are claiming to be 5th years on the normal advancement age, then they are 15 years old, and their parents still had them before they were twenty. So the parents may have died young, or are still alive, but haven’t been alive long enough to get old.
They could still legit claim to be 16 or 17, and that their homeschooling was eclectic so they weren’t really on grade level, or that they tested into 5th year, or that Dumbledore said they had to do 5th year because they have no OWLs.
I like the premise of this fic. Time travel fits are a thing for me.
Timeline Maths: In the original timeline, in 1998, Hermione is 18, about to turn 19. Harry is 17, about to turn 18. They have bounced to 1975. If they are going to claim to be twins in 1975, born to a couple that married at 17 and 16 in 1957, then their “parents” weren’t old when they were born - they were barely married teens. If the girl was pregnant when they married, or got pregnant immediately after the wedding, they were born in 1957 or 1958, and they have to claim to be 17. If they are claiming to be 5th years on the normal advancement age, then they are 15 years old, and their parents still had them before they were twenty. So the parents may have died young, or are still alive, but haven’t been alive long enough to get old.
They could still legit claim to be 16 or 17, and that their homeschooling was eclectic so they weren’t really on grade level, or that they tested into 5th year, or that Dumbledore said they had to do 5th year because they have no OWLs.
12/9/2024 c3 
1powercore122
Not a bad story or concept, sadly however the writing style is not for me. Not that it's bad I just dislike this style if not for that I could continue this
1powercore122Not a bad story or concept, sadly however the writing style is not for me. Not that it's bad I just dislike this style if not for that I could continue this
12/9/2024 c19 Proxygalaxy2.0
Hello, This is Fiction Life,
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Thank you!
Hello, This is Fiction Life,
May I share your Harry Potter story on YouTube with an audience that prefers listening over reading?
Channel link: FictionLife-zl3oc
I will give proper credit in the description of your story and also share the video link under your story comment for your view. We highly respect authors and their copyright.
This is a better way to spread your story to a larger audience. Not only will you gain more hits on your work, but I will also benefit from increased exposure through my channel (monetized).
If you have any suggestions, such as a title starting with “What If” or any other preferences, I am happy to make changes according to your wishes.
I would appreciate your cooperation. Please reply at your earliest convenience with permission.
I have received a rating from ‘Project Copy Knight’ — check the link to see our rating: . / FictionLife-zl3oc.
Thank you!