Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Breaking Walls

5/26 c5 1HyroTheGodOfFiction
I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS, THIS IS A FUN STORY AND I LOVE IT!
9/1/2020 c1 6ChiruKaio
The first idea is interessting, that he used the veil to go into another universe.

But this is all that I could like. Sadly your Harry is a "Mary Sue" on the highest level. He is 28 and got so much power and feeds his brain with knowledge of the new universe without even any issue.

He is new on this earth but there are no problem with the magic. No he already has x masters and doctor titles. And can easiliy get them offical again.

Even if I would love to see his interaction with Loki. But sadly after 5 chapters I will stop to rrad this fiction. It is not my story.

But your overall writing style is good. I can not say something against it. If Harry would not be all-powerfull and almost omnipotent than this could have be a new story for me...
8/13/2020 c1 13BiGDeal
This version of Harry is more of a know-it-all than Hermione at her worst, even more than Tony Stark. Just sets my teeth on edge. My opinion only.
8/11/2020 c5 Driiii
Lmao wow. This is another level of OP Harry. Nice fic so far.
8/4/2020 c2 welcome007
what
8/4/2020 c1 welcome007
cool
7/15/2020 c4 10Zakumi122
I want to preface this isn't a Flame or Hate! I just wanna give some advice!

Okay I'm gonna be honest here, your story has an interesting premise and if done correctly an unlimited amount of potential: A depressed Harry who just wants to die but can't, can be played and experimented with in a whole bunch of ways.
That being said! Your Harry is honestly way too OP like, he used a compulsion charm on the Sorcerer Supreme like he was casting it on a 12 year old kid.
He can beat Captain America in hand to hand combat? Even though it's established that C.A is a master of many forms of combat? And you have not told us that Harry learned any form of martial arts, kinda feels like you just wanted a "Harry's a badass!" moment.
His interactions with Fury are also kinda... strange just on the fact that I feel like "everybody's a threat" Fury would not be willing to give an unknown any information about Shield as it's a literal matter of National security.
Actually all the interactions don't feel like they blend well, but thats more of a practice thing, I think the more you write the easier it'll be for you to make conversations sound more natural.

I think you should look into maybe giving Harry some weaknesses, otherwise what's the point? If he could crush Thanos or any other villian like a bug without even fear of death... What's his story going to be?
7/12/2020 c2 10thunderofdeath97
does he mean five one hundreds, or five hundreds because im pretty sure they dont make five hundred dollar bills, also it would take a minute to count that, and how would the dealer actually claim the insurance, im sure there would be cameras, and or an investigation, which would also mean paperwork especially since if he tried to claim the bike stolen they would track it by the vin number, so then harry would be in trouble with the law, unless he uses magic to hide the bike or change numbers on it or something lol

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service