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for Does Voldemort Even Lift, Bro?

4/16 c3 Drag7
Hahaha. Ahh shit. That disclaimer is so true.
4/16 c18 Julie Q
A few more questions crossed my mind...

29] What if the Yule Ball becomes a regular annual occurrence at Hogwarts, given how well it was received during the Triwizard Tournament?

30] If you use 29] - what if Harry and those male students whom he enlightens on the proper treatment, care, support, and respect of 'honeys' - along with [or including] the male students who were already quite nice, or at least shy [e.g. Neville] - all prove far more popular with the witches in Hogwarts than the arrogant oiks like Draco Malfoy; and one of the ways in which this becomes apparent occurs in relation to the now-annual Yule Ball?

31] If you use 30] - what if this includes more male students who each take more than one female student as their dates?

32] If you use 31] - what if this in turn results in the most obnoxious male students having no female students left to even so much as ask to be their dates?

33] If you use 29] - what if Ron goes an extra mile to ask Millicent to go to the Ball as his date in a way that will be really special and romantic for her?

34] If you use 33] - what if Ron succeeds, much to Millicent's joy and his own mixed relief [at having not got it wrong] and delight [at having successfully made his girlfriend's year]?

35] What if Molly Weasley takes a liking to Millicent, but sometimes feels a little scandalised by how Millicent works out so much and puts on her own 'gun shows'?

36] What if Percy happily regales his parents and older brothers with how Ron has really come into his own as a man ever since he began dating Millicent, and started taking himself and his future a lot more seriously?

37] If you use 36] - what if Ron really appreciates this praise, and profusely thanks Percy for it?

38] What if Fred and George's girlfriends a] think Ron's efforts to woo Millicent and make her feel properly appreciated are very sweet and romantic, and b] complain that Fred and George put very little effort into romancing them?

39] What if Ron is willing to give up his surname and become 'Ronald Bulstrode' upon marrying Millicent in the future? [After all, he's got five older brothers - the Weasley name is guaranteed to continue even without Ron contributing. And 'Ronald Bulstrode' sounds like a pretty cool name.]

40] If you use 39] - what if this is one of the factors which helps to convince Millicent's parents to accept and support their relationship?

41] If you use 39] - what if the reputation Weasley men have for being prone to fathering large numbers of children also helps convince Millicent's parents to accept their relationship, due to their desire a] for lots of grandchildren to spoil, and b] to expand the Bulstrode family, which has been constantly dwindling in size for the last few generations, and currently consists of a single household [i.e. Millicent and her parents]?

42] What if Millicent puts on a 'gun show' in front of her parents, who don't know what to think about this muggle behaviour - but hey, their little girl is finally happy with her body after years of feeling miserable and painfully self-conscious about a plethora of body image issues, so they decide to just accept it even if they don't understand it? ;)

43] If you use 42] - what if Millicent happily kisses one [or both] of her own biceps during said 'gun show'? :)

44] What if Nagini enjoys the adulation and appreciation she gets from various of Hogwarts' students, especially the Slytherin kids?

45] If you use 44] - what if Nagini is delighted at how much her life has improved ever since she ditched Voldemort?

46] If you use 44] - what if Nagini gets a part-time job as Slytherin House's official therapist? E.g. if one of the kids is having a bad day and feeling upset, then petting and cuddling with Nagini and talking about their problems with her helps them to feel a bit better - which is therapeutic! ;) [Even moreso if Harry is around to act as Nagini's interpreter. :D] After all, therapy animals are a thing - and Nagini is more intelligent than quite a few humans, so she deserves a salary, benefits package, and pension plan for her work. :D

47] What if Nagini LOVES visiting India, because the climate is much warmer and therefore more to her liking? :D

48] What if Nagini and Sammie become firm friends?

Thank you again for this brilliant story! :) *hugs*
4/16 c18 Julie Q
I find myself contemplating further questions of great [and sexy] significance...

23] Will Harry's dream of Padma and Parvati dressing as cheerleaders ever come to fruition?

24] Related to ] - what if Padma enthusiastically researches the subject in great detail, while Parvati and Lavender are just as enthusiastic about designing and creating cheerleading uniforms which will be stylish, sexy, and comfortable?

] Related to ] - what if the end result is that all four Hogwarts houses end up with their own cheerleading squads?

] Please could Tonks join Harry's harem? :)

] Will Harry ever oblige Padma and Parvati by dressing as Conan the Barbarian for them? :)

] Related to ] - will Padma and Parvati and the other witches from Harry's harem ever wear Slave Leia bikinis for him? ;)

Inquiring minds would love to know! :D *hugs*
4/16 c18 Guest
Poor McG, she really needs to get laid. How long before Harry gets the idea to set her up with a male cat?

Surprisingly enough, the canon plot hasn't been completely derailed yet. After the Azkaban breakout, the Department of Mysteries fight is pretty much a given.
4/16 c18 Julie Q
I find myself contemplating further questions of great [and sexy] significance...

23] Will Harry's dream of Padma and Parvati dressing as cheerleaders ever come to fruition?

24] Related to 23] - what if Padma enthusiastically researches the subject in great detail, while Parvati and Lavender are just as enthusiastic about designing and creating cheerleading uniforms which will be stylish, sexy, and comfortable?

25] Related to 24] - what if the end result is that all four Hogwarts houses end up with their own cheerleading squads?

26] Please could Tonks join Harry's harem? :)

27] Will Harry ever oblige Padma and Parvati by dressing as Conan the Barbarian for them? :)

28] Related to 27] - will Padma and Parvati and the other witches from Harry's harem ever wear Slave Leia bikinis for him? ;)

Inquiring minds would love to know! :D *hugs*
4/16 c18 Julie Q
Here's a few more questions I am pondering in relation to this wonderful story...

8] What if Poppy Pomfrey remarks to someone [McGonagall, perhaps?] about how the standards of oral hygiene have improved enormously among the student body - especially in Harry's year group and below - ever since Harry first turned up and started throwing around the phrase "Teeth are a privilege"?

9] If you use 8] - what if Poppy awards Harry a few house points for having had this effect? :D

10] If you use 8] - what if the board of governers praise Hogwarts for improving its education of students with regard to personal health and hygiene?

11] What if Voldemort learns about Harry's conviction that Dumbledore is secretly evil, and the various reasons why Harry came to this conclusion?

12] If you use 11] - what if Harry's reasoning successfully convinces Voldemort that Dumbledore is in fact an even more evil [and depraved] Dark Lord than himself? :D

13] What if Voldemort starts absentmindedly addressing Lucius Malfoy as 'Luscious'?

14] If you use 13] - what if Voldemort also gets confused into thinking Lucius is a woman?

15] What if Voldemort uses up all of his Horcruxes, because he keeps dying and needing to return from the dead?

16] If you use 15] - what if this removes the need for any of the heroes to search for the Horcruxes [or even discover what they are] - because Riddle goes through the lot like a packet of tissues?

17] What if Percy Weasley enjoys working at Hogwarts so much that he transfers there permanently as the Defence professor?

18] If you use 17] - what if Percy also retains Padma and Harry as his teaching assistants?

19] What if Padma and / or Parvati suggest to Percy that he observe one of Harry's Defence lessons?

20] If you use 19] - what if Percy greatly enjoys watching Harry teaching, and Percy is thus convinced that he made a fantastic decision by choosing Harry as one of his teaching assistants?

21] What if Harry takes it upon himself to teach his 'minions' about 'honeys'?

22] If you use 21] - what if the staff and female students are pleasantly surprised by how well this ultimately turns out - Harry's 'minions' are all unfailingly courteous and completely undemanding in their interactions with female students, and generally a huge improvement over the demanding over-privileged oiks which an unfortunately large percentage of male students have previously been?

##

Thank you again for this fantastic story! :) *hugs*
4/15 c18 1SixFtWookie
Love it, though I'm a little disappointed that Harry's newest plan for McG has gone so poorly. I just can't imagine where you are going with this plot line, as much as I enjoy reading each step.
4/15 c18 Hank1967
Dang that was funny! Brilliant chapter! Perhaps Daphne really is a Terminator after all? Girl's got that not quite human vibe down... Enjoyed the scene with the Greengrasses. Loved Daphne's mom! Loved Priya, too, for that matter! Enjoyed seeing Priya and Chandra over at Grimmauld Place. That bit with Nagini showing up was so totally Harry. Love how she abandoned Tom for Harry. Also enjoyed the latest installment in Harry's quest to get McG laid. He should have kept his mouth shut! Can't wait to see what's next!
4/15 c18 Guest
Poor Harry. Getting detention when all he wants to do is help McG get laid. So, I guess McG/Rosmerta isn't the OTP. And I was so sure of it.

Oh, and we shouldn't forget about his efforts to save the boobies. Harry deserves an Order of Merlin or something.

Dobby kicking Kreacher's ass is awesome. Kreacher needs to be reminded that teeth are a privilege, given his attitude. Beefcake Dobby could possibly be the second most awesome invention in the fandom, if you can get him all ripped like; the first being Beefcake Harry, obviously.

Android!Daphne, the Ice Queen of Replicants, is a whole world of trouble. Her nefarious plans for our hero have me worried.

Another great chapter, dude!
4/15 c18 ilvincitore
Lifting army!
4/15 c18 61Stormshadow13
Lol. Poor Mcg. Lol
4/15 c18 zippydip
cheers
4/15 c18 George1892
Lol, I've never seen a fic where Daphne's fairly are all normal and she's all ice-princessy. Looking forward to more Greengrass banter. Shame that Harry didn't finally get McG laid.
4/15 c18 Julie Q
Oh, WOW! :) This is a fantastic tale, by turns hilarious and awesome and filled with brilliant surprises - I love it! *hugs*

I am left pondering so many questions regarding the future:

1] What if Millicent Bulstrode starts wearing muscle shirts on the weekends, and putting on her own 'gun shows'?

2] If you use 1] - what if a lot of the boys stare in fascination?

3] If you use 1] - what if Ron stares dreamily at Millicent, reflecting on how awesomely lucky he is to have her as his girlfriend?

4] If you use 1] - what if Harry always beams proudly at Millicent, and shares fist bumps and high fives with her?

5] If you use 1] - what if Harry starts referring to and addressing Millicent as his 'bro'? [Or 'lady bro', perhaps? ;)]

6] If you use 5] - what if Millicent is delighted by this - she always wanted a brother, and now she has one? :)

7] Will Sheila appear again - and will Harry get a chance to ride her into battle? :D

##

Thank you again for this highly enjoyable story! :) *hugs*
4/15 c18 28Kairan1979
It's a shame Harry's plan failed again.
I wonder how Voldemort is going to feel if he learned about Nagini becoming Harry's new pet.
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