for See No Evil (Complete)8/29/2024 c43 Killerpickle
This is probably the weakest part of the story with how everything is forced just so vergil is no longer beholden ro the Penguin
This is probably the weakest part of the story with how everything is forced just so vergil is no longer beholden ro the Penguin
8/29/2024 c42 Killerpickle
What would of been interesting way you could of gone about with Penguins and Vergil’s relationship was explored more Penguins fondness for him wanting to make him his right hand man, then maybe even his heir as at this point in time Penguin is getting on in years he would be minimum at least 50.
What would of been interesting way you could of gone about with Penguins and Vergil’s relationship was explored more Penguins fondness for him wanting to make him his right hand man, then maybe even his heir as at this point in time Penguin is getting on in years he would be minimum at least 50.
8/29/2024 c35 Killerpickle
Ive read this story quite a few times and have been here from chapter 1 ive even been a patron sub but could you come back and do a rewrite of the story as it would fix a lot of the issues with the story that are rather apparant.
Things that a rewrite should change:
1. No crossovers
- It was forced and janky from the very start
- No explanation really given besides one line about maybe Miranda’s father being involved
- It becomes Deus Ex Machina for the problems i.e 2B and the support bod literally just remove every problem that Virgil faces.
2. Harem
- it adds nothing to the story, but also mixed with how full on/complex it gets theres simply not enough time for a relationship in the first place let alone a multi one.
- Cass is 16 while Virgil is at least 18, it was stated several times at the beginning that he was an adult and only had his new identity show it as 16.
3. Abandoning plotlinesthings happening with no explanationsPosion Ivy: The tunnel, the hiring her
- Mirandas family
- Origins on crossovers (doesnt make sense with how long they have been in universe with current explanationLack of exploration of Virgils abilitiesplacing restrictions on them for instance maybe making it so that he cant create something that goes against its nature like trees that shoot fire etc so if he wants something with estoic abilities he still has to aquire then normally or create the confitions to create them naturaly
- Random super powerful items just appearing like perfect x ray skin suit to steal bat computer, Penguins resources (no way to get all of them at once particularly all of the physical backup plans)
4. Not understanding how hacking works
5. Lack of exploration and limits of Virgils powers
- Virgils powers are a Deus Ex Machina that ruin any urgency from the story as we know he can make a solution to any problem no issue.
- Dont randomly come out with new powerful objects to solve a problem and just tell us that he got the parts previously
- Needs to be restrictions on Virgils abilitys to combine things ideas: making it that the next tier items cant be made purly out of things that were combined/combined with the same item but have to have something naturally at that rank or based around the desired outcome already. Theres also stopping Virgil from creating things that go against a things nature
Ive read this story quite a few times and have been here from chapter 1 ive even been a patron sub but could you come back and do a rewrite of the story as it would fix a lot of the issues with the story that are rather apparant.
Things that a rewrite should change:
1. No crossovers
- It was forced and janky from the very start
- No explanation really given besides one line about maybe Miranda’s father being involved
- It becomes Deus Ex Machina for the problems i.e 2B and the support bod literally just remove every problem that Virgil faces.
2. Harem
- it adds nothing to the story, but also mixed with how full on/complex it gets theres simply not enough time for a relationship in the first place let alone a multi one.
- Cass is 16 while Virgil is at least 18, it was stated several times at the beginning that he was an adult and only had his new identity show it as 16.
3. Abandoning plotlinesthings happening with no explanationsPosion Ivy: The tunnel, the hiring her
- Mirandas family
- Origins on crossovers (doesnt make sense with how long they have been in universe with current explanationLack of exploration of Virgils abilitiesplacing restrictions on them for instance maybe making it so that he cant create something that goes against its nature like trees that shoot fire etc so if he wants something with estoic abilities he still has to aquire then normally or create the confitions to create them naturaly
- Random super powerful items just appearing like perfect x ray skin suit to steal bat computer, Penguins resources (no way to get all of them at once particularly all of the physical backup plans)
4. Not understanding how hacking works
5. Lack of exploration and limits of Virgils powers
- Virgils powers are a Deus Ex Machina that ruin any urgency from the story as we know he can make a solution to any problem no issue.
- Dont randomly come out with new powerful objects to solve a problem and just tell us that he got the parts previously
- Needs to be restrictions on Virgils abilitys to combine things ideas: making it that the next tier items cant be made purly out of things that were combined/combined with the same item but have to have something naturally at that rank or based around the desired outcome already. Theres also stopping Virgil from creating things that go against a things nature
267/10/2024 c90 random dude007
I take my words back, you are one of the best writers and this fic was fucking amazing
I take my words back, you are one of the best writers and this fic was fucking amazing
7/9/2024 c43 Shiva547
never seen a fic where mc has no useful defensive powers and is getting clapped at every instance
never seen a fic where mc has no useful defensive powers and is getting clapped at every instance