for See No Evil (Complete)
1012/22/2022 c51 Killerpickle
He should be 17 or a few months off from it, the last mention of Vergils age had him at 16 and a half, but it’s been a stated several months since then with multiple ‘few weeks’ on top of that.
What would probably fix the issue with having characters like Tifa and 2B would be to switch them out with actual DC characters or maybe even original characters, for instance you could change Tifas entire backstory into a proper human experimentation and abductionyou could also weave that into 2B’s backstory and when Vergil is trying to figure out who experimented on her to give her increased strength etc and was selling her (flesh trading) etc you could have him find a stand in character for 2B maybe someone who is connected to the machine origin practically like the green or other origins but for technology.
If you did that and have Vergil find someone with budding technology powers it would really help balance out the progression of the later half of the story as with 2B and the support Pod just being able to hack everything (which is realistic mind you for what a true AI could do) and deus ex machina with the help of Cass super stealth. But with changing the story with having a character with budding/emerging/weak technology (technoapthy) based powers allows them to grow along with the MC Vergil and Lowtown and stopping to much power being placed in the characters hands.
Speaking of power with powerful items that Vergil makes they need to be shown being made particularly like the microscopic camers that were used to bug the Wayne Manor, or at the very least have Vergil collect parts for making them even if it’s never stated what there for (hinted at or let the readers come up with ideas on what is Vergils next move, what’s he going to do next), it could even be for multiple things instead of one.
Also I’ll state this again that I’ve read this story multiple times, a lot of these issues that I’ve noticed that I’ve stated in the past couple of reviews I’ve known since I’ve first read the story when you were releasing it, I’m only now writing everything down in the hopes you might go back and rewrite this story as it’s certainly incredible enough to deserve more then how you ended it, really it deserves another 100k more at least and it’s one of those story’s where you can just keep expanding on it really as more of the world/the planet/the universe/different dimensions etc Vergil takes over is a story to tell.
He should be 17 or a few months off from it, the last mention of Vergils age had him at 16 and a half, but it’s been a stated several months since then with multiple ‘few weeks’ on top of that.
What would probably fix the issue with having characters like Tifa and 2B would be to switch them out with actual DC characters or maybe even original characters, for instance you could change Tifas entire backstory into a proper human experimentation and abductionyou could also weave that into 2B’s backstory and when Vergil is trying to figure out who experimented on her to give her increased strength etc and was selling her (flesh trading) etc you could have him find a stand in character for 2B maybe someone who is connected to the machine origin practically like the green or other origins but for technology.
If you did that and have Vergil find someone with budding technology powers it would really help balance out the progression of the later half of the story as with 2B and the support Pod just being able to hack everything (which is realistic mind you for what a true AI could do) and deus ex machina with the help of Cass super stealth. But with changing the story with having a character with budding/emerging/weak technology (technoapthy) based powers allows them to grow along with the MC Vergil and Lowtown and stopping to much power being placed in the characters hands.
Speaking of power with powerful items that Vergil makes they need to be shown being made particularly like the microscopic camers that were used to bug the Wayne Manor, or at the very least have Vergil collect parts for making them even if it’s never stated what there for (hinted at or let the readers come up with ideas on what is Vergils next move, what’s he going to do next), it could even be for multiple things instead of one.
Also I’ll state this again that I’ve read this story multiple times, a lot of these issues that I’ve noticed that I’ve stated in the past couple of reviews I’ve known since I’ve first read the story when you were releasing it, I’m only now writing everything down in the hopes you might go back and rewrite this story as it’s certainly incredible enough to deserve more then how you ended it, really it deserves another 100k more at least and it’s one of those story’s where you can just keep expanding on it really as more of the world/the planet/the universe/different dimensions etc Vergil takes over is a story to tell.
12/22/2022 c1 Killerpickle
The whole alternate universe version speech needs to be Redon, we get what your trying to say but… it just doesn’t work and legally that type of admission of guilt that Vergil did like that can be admissible and an addition of guild.
Also with the crossover girls they don’t really work that well within the story as well as you probably originally thought that’d be. Like I know that they were chosen based on vote and were most likely intended for a possible partner but Harems don’t work, you can get away with a three way but it’s still messy and will never be as a good as a standard 2 person relationship.
Also 2B’s inclusion and Vergil’s ability to copy her really unbalanced the progression of the story, lowtown and just generally of Vergils power.
The same issue happens with Cass to a lesser extent with her stealth/sneaking based skills with how she can just sneak into anywhere plus she’s also got invisibility/sound canceling outfits.
- also with the destruction of evidence that incriminated Vergil, why wouldn’t the penguin have more copy’s
The whole alternate universe version speech needs to be Redon, we get what your trying to say but… it just doesn’t work and legally that type of admission of guilt that Vergil did like that can be admissible and an addition of guild.
Also with the crossover girls they don’t really work that well within the story as well as you probably originally thought that’d be. Like I know that they were chosen based on vote and were most likely intended for a possible partner but Harems don’t work, you can get away with a three way but it’s still messy and will never be as a good as a standard 2 person relationship.
Also 2B’s inclusion and Vergil’s ability to copy her really unbalanced the progression of the story, lowtown and just generally of Vergils power.
The same issue happens with Cass to a lesser extent with her stealth/sneaking based skills with how she can just sneak into anywhere plus she’s also got invisibility/sound canceling outfits.
- also with the destruction of evidence that incriminated Vergil, why wouldn’t the penguin have more copy’s
12/21/2022 c1 Killerpickle
Why did you rush the story so much from around when the joker was first killed, everything after that just seems rushed, poorly written or well glossed over everything to quickly finish up the storyit covered all the important points and ideas/plots I assume you wanted to cover but you just went though everything incredibly quickly off screen instead of building it up slowly, showing us what Vergil is developing
Why did you rush the story so much from around when the joker was first killed, everything after that just seems rushed, poorly written or well glossed over everything to quickly finish up the storyit covered all the important points and ideas/plots I assume you wanted to cover but you just went though everything incredibly quickly off screen instead of building it up slowly, showing us what Vergil is developing
12/20/2022 c12 Killerpickle
I’ve reread this story a few times and some of the flaws are really apparent now, such as well Tifa’s character in this entirely.
Why does Tifa care about Vergil so much, personally as they’ve really just met and are strangers, yes he did save her but she doesn’t know him or should care about him so much as a person/friend
I’ve reread this story a few times and some of the flaws are really apparent now, such as well Tifa’s character in this entirely.
Why does Tifa care about Vergil so much, personally as they’ve really just met and are strangers, yes he did save her but she doesn’t know him or should care about him so much as a person/friend
12/8/2022 c4 Guest
his so fucking weak and a child
his so fucking weak and a child