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for Mystery of the Ghost boy (ON HOLD)

3/4 c1 30TheWhiteTitan
What kind of kid calls their parents by their first name? Only that one small line doesn't make me want to read the story. Sorry.
10/22/2020 c4 davidiscoolya113
Short radio no narrator no discriptions the people you are trying to convey the story to can't see it so discribe discribe discribe: "his hair was so frazzled he was just laying there. ""he looks so fragile,so small robin sayed"" as the other teen Titans looked around". or his blasts were unearthly green after say that unless point of view chang once for every individual: unnerving blast's. look up a self help grammar and story building site.
9/15/2020 c1 6SilverExcel115
As much as I like your story, I can’t get behind the formatting. It’s already hard enough to tell who is talking when you write in blocks like that, but then you forget to properly put quotations around the speech or any other identifying marks. Also, why did you abbreviate their names, now you look lazy. I’m out.
9/4/2020 c4 Earthly Entity
Reading the story so far, I can say it's interesting and the idea itself sound interesting enough to draw my attention, but there are parts where it gets hard to read or small stuff that seems odd as well, but none the less, I still see that this can be a very engaging story
9/4/2020 c2 Earthly Entity
3 minutes? There something wrong with that number there, saying that out loud seems odd
9/4/2020 c1 Earthly Entity
Pretty interesting, a little rough here and there, but like what you brought to the table none the less
8/29/2020 c4 Guest
I took one look at the chapter with initials instead of full names and gave up, sorry. Hope the story is great for more patient readers.
8/20/2020 c3 Guest
I like how you give when you may update in the reviews.:) thank you.
8/20/2020 c1 Guest
Can you stop shortening the names to letters. It needlessly makes it hard to read. Yes it saves time for you but for the actual reader you have to go and try to remember who that is and then get back into the story. If you just right out the names it would make it a lot easier to read and understand.
8/21/2020 c2 YukinaBlueRose
This is interesting. O:)
8/18/2020 c1 43Fanreader26
tips: break up each section by character and exposition. that way things are cleaner and easier to follow who is talking instead of a big chunk of text with multiple people. helps you keep track of things too
apart from that p, there are a few Grammer errors here amd the but nothing too big.
also it's better to put their full names instead of initials or shortened name. don't shorten things cause it causes confusion on if it's a name of someone or an ability
also batman's interrogation should be a bit more professional when he questioned danny it almost seemed like a stereotypical teen girl shooting out questions. at least that's how I saw it
8/17/2020 c3 2NaruNasu15
May update Wednesday or sometime the following weekend. Following week is a bit busy and I’m really tired, so I can’t guarantee I’m going to be updating any story. And when online school starts my schedule is going to be a bit more tight, so I might only update once or twice a week. So sorry but I just need to get situated right now then I’ll update both stories as soon as possible, I ask you to be patient with me and I will be back. This is AnimeLover, signing off for now.
8/15/2020 c2 Jacob Phantom
Please update your story soon!
8/6/2020 c1 Guest
Dide don’t harsh on the author for the rating. In fact this should really be rated t if they were going to change it(you don’t have to, it’s fine as is) cause the rated m stuff is a lot worse content wise than this. Like literally describing people being cut open worse. Anyway great chapter!Will ember become his friend in this? Cause it seems like with the newer personality changes they have a high chance of getting along. Kind of like catwoman and batman. But more friendship and less romance. Can’t wait for the next chapter!
8/6/2020 c1 10DaniMason
Hi. I love your story so far. Here are some ideas to make your story better. You might want to rate it M if you want more details of the abuse. If not you might want to rate it T. I am not overly familiar with the rating system though so, take this with a grain of salt and check it so far. Also when a person is speaking they get a new paragraph and quotations around the words spoken. I am still fixing my own fanfiction so I have the proper speaking grammar. Then it is Barry Allen not Berry... I am loving the premise of this story and I can’t wait to read more!
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