for The Game Must Go On19h c3 TigerJacob
Alright gotta admit after the straight binges of gamer fics I've been on...I'm kinda disappointed by this so far.
It's the writing really, the characterizations are like a cruder version of shiros first necromancer fic. All males are impotent or useful to MC and all girls that would be late game efforts look like they are just gonna be handed to him (lily and serafall (serafall I can kinda accept, it's just always done but the HP verse is like you said, bad fanfic levels of cliche)) it just sorta makes thing lifeless...a game that isn't worth playing.
I like the mix world, that takes enginuity and the world building should also be praised even if I haven't seen much yet (but I'm sure there will be more).
A tad bit of grammar errors though, went from third person to first person pov with veleana in this chapter. Kills the mood of reading when you encounter things like that.
Still I haven't finished yet so who knows, my hesitations might be washed away. Back to binging after some good ol sleep.
Alright gotta admit after the straight binges of gamer fics I've been on...I'm kinda disappointed by this so far.
It's the writing really, the characterizations are like a cruder version of shiros first necromancer fic. All males are impotent or useful to MC and all girls that would be late game efforts look like they are just gonna be handed to him (lily and serafall (serafall I can kinda accept, it's just always done but the HP verse is like you said, bad fanfic levels of cliche)) it just sorta makes thing lifeless...a game that isn't worth playing.
I like the mix world, that takes enginuity and the world building should also be praised even if I haven't seen much yet (but I'm sure there will be more).
A tad bit of grammar errors though, went from third person to first person pov with veleana in this chapter. Kills the mood of reading when you encounter things like that.
Still I haven't finished yet so who knows, my hesitations might be washed away. Back to binging after some good ol sleep.
1/17 c1 Ahtu
All is fine up to the fkn shite HP AU, that takes old characters, and pulls them all completely out of character. Which you ofc make 0 fkn mentions of in the summary...
All is fine up to the fkn shite HP AU, that takes old characters, and pulls them all completely out of character. Which you ofc make 0 fkn mentions of in the summary...
1/16 c2 
2hughfj08
It's strange how something as simple as a name can kill my interest in a story. But congrats you have managed it, something so horrendously weeb is the kicker, especially when placed onto a caucasian just because weeb reasons
2hughfj08It's strange how something as simple as a name can kill my interest in a story. But congrats you have managed it, something so horrendously weeb is the kicker, especially when placed onto a caucasian just because weeb reasons
1/15 c20 4SoaringxDragon
Got to say I’ve really enjoyed what you’ve written here. It’s hard to find gamer stories written this long but that also don’t just dissolve into stat info dumps taking up whole chapter with very little story content. Thankfully you don’t have this problem. Yes you post your stats but you don’t post every single stat and skill every single time you do so. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a gamer story with f.e. 10k word chapters broken down into 1-2k dedicated to the AN, 7-8k stat info dumps with the last 1k being story content/development. You’re extra moments with Ophis are hilarious. And the fact you have a modified gamer making your charter OP but not stupidly broken making X skill left and right while admitting he isn’t the strongest much less in his own peerage.
My one complaint is the fact you seem to be setting up the story so Shin ends up stealing a bunch of married women like Venelana and Lady Phenex by having them be in loveless marriages and giving him perks pertaining to relationship gains with taken women. Why? You are already pulling women from different worlds/stories as it is and the whole Sin of Lust thing but is it really necessary to change the story to have loveless marriages so Shin can swoop in? The problem I find with any harem stories or big casts are the lack or diminishing character and story development/quality of the author isn’t careful because more characters are added than the author can handle. Plus you’re still developing your cast as is, Shin still has his peerage to build as well as barely starting to make his harem since at this point he’s only been with Rias and Sakuya. Just something to think about.
Looking forward to your updates!
4SoaringxDragonGot to say I’ve really enjoyed what you’ve written here. It’s hard to find gamer stories written this long but that also don’t just dissolve into stat info dumps taking up whole chapter with very little story content. Thankfully you don’t have this problem. Yes you post your stats but you don’t post every single stat and skill every single time you do so. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a gamer story with f.e. 10k word chapters broken down into 1-2k dedicated to the AN, 7-8k stat info dumps with the last 1k being story content/development. You’re extra moments with Ophis are hilarious. And the fact you have a modified gamer making your charter OP but not stupidly broken making X skill left and right while admitting he isn’t the strongest much less in his own peerage.
My one complaint is the fact you seem to be setting up the story so Shin ends up stealing a bunch of married women like Venelana and Lady Phenex by having them be in loveless marriages and giving him perks pertaining to relationship gains with taken women. Why? You are already pulling women from different worlds/stories as it is and the whole Sin of Lust thing but is it really necessary to change the story to have loveless marriages so Shin can swoop in? The problem I find with any harem stories or big casts are the lack or diminishing character and story development/quality of the author isn’t careful because more characters are added than the author can handle. Plus you’re still developing your cast as is, Shin still has his peerage to build as well as barely starting to make his harem since at this point he’s only been with Rias and Sakuya. Just something to think about.
Looking forward to your updates!
1/13 c20 T149Man
Great story. I didn't see Tet becoming a part of this story. Good call there.
Great story. I didn't see Tet becoming a part of this story. Good call there.
1/15 c7 SoaringxDragon
I normally only review after reading through a fic whole or if I end up dropping it for reasons but I just had to say I laughed so fucking hard at your line of Ophis wanting to find Saitama
I normally only review after reading through a fic whole or if I end up dropping it for reasons but I just had to say I laughed so fucking hard at your line of Ophis wanting to find Saitama
1/14 c20 8Merlin Pranks101
This is probably my all time favorite Gamer fic. You...actually take the time to flesh out characters. Rias especially. I kinda feel like I'm in a fever dream, holy shit. I appreciate you, man. Fuck those people that say fleshing out a character is annoying. This is your story, and it is awesome. YOU are awesome. I will say that I have a few nitpicky things I must state! I really hope that my man, Shin, gets some bro's. Every dude needs a bro. Which is also why I hope we get to see Sairaorg again soon. I would like a dude in his peerage though. A Fate character would be cool. It would be pretty funny if he had a dude as his Queen though. I...really don't have any other complaints...huh. Well, guess I can say what I like. I really appreciate not rushing the harem and taking it slow and really showing the relationship. Awesome lemons, I wish they were longer though. That's probably what I feel would be best I stories like this, longer lemons but less frequent than in one of Shiro's stories. Not that I don't like them, but it's hard to focus on the story when you get turned on ever 2k words. The humour in this is pretty solid, not the funniest shit ever but it's made me laugh out loud a few times. Anyway, this review might be getting a bit long. This was an amazing read and I can't wait for more! Have fun writing and don't rush yourself!
8Merlin Pranks101This is probably my all time favorite Gamer fic. You...actually take the time to flesh out characters. Rias especially. I kinda feel like I'm in a fever dream, holy shit. I appreciate you, man. Fuck those people that say fleshing out a character is annoying. This is your story, and it is awesome. YOU are awesome. I will say that I have a few nitpicky things I must state! I really hope that my man, Shin, gets some bro's. Every dude needs a bro. Which is also why I hope we get to see Sairaorg again soon. I would like a dude in his peerage though. A Fate character would be cool. It would be pretty funny if he had a dude as his Queen though. I...really don't have any other complaints...huh. Well, guess I can say what I like. I really appreciate not rushing the harem and taking it slow and really showing the relationship. Awesome lemons, I wish they were longer though. That's probably what I feel would be best I stories like this, longer lemons but less frequent than in one of Shiro's stories. Not that I don't like them, but it's hard to focus on the story when you get turned on ever 2k words. The humour in this is pretty solid, not the funniest shit ever but it's made me laugh out loud a few times. Anyway, this review might be getting a bit long. This was an amazing read and I can't wait for more! Have fun writing and don't rush yourself!
1/13 c20 Thomas MCF
hey this is getting really good.
Reds dialog seemed a bit off to me but it is a Omake so it's fine just letting you know some of the things he said didn't really feel natural . but that might be your interpretation any way
keep up the good work this is great
hey this is getting really good.
Reds dialog seemed a bit off to me but it is a Omake so it's fine just letting you know some of the things he said didn't really feel natural . but that might be your interpretation any way
keep up the good work this is great
1/11 c20 Guest
Enjoyed this chapter, yeehaw!
Enjoyed this chapter, yeehaw!
1/13 c20 JKingSniper
Nice. Tet is awesome god as a friend in the future. Also Hades is digging his own grave b doing this lol
Nice. Tet is awesome god as a friend in the future. Also Hades is digging his own grave b doing this lol