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9/6/2020 c2 Anony
This chapter was much better!
9/5/2020 c1 Anony
I think the idea behind this is good but the grammer and structure needs quite a bit of work. The sentences are too rushed without pauses- It's like they're trying to say everything in one breath. I noticed there is also a lot of (Starscream said) (Optimus said) (said Red Alert). Maybe try and break it up with (Starscream replied) (Optimus gasped) (murmured Red Alert) so they have more emotion behind their words. The characters seem a little...flat and out of character? I'd maybe recommend a beta come in and help you work with this story. I'd like to see more depth because you're a good writer, just need an extra bit of flavor to the meal :)
9/6/2020 c2 1pikachukite
Wheeljack? What are you doing with the cons?
9/4/2020 c1 Tara Mccann
Do more please I can't wait for the next chapter

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