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for Uncomfortable Liar

12/7/2020 c8 iwewia
None of your works have ever failed to make me visualize the scenes vividly while I read, yet this one truly felt like a dramatic scene in the middle of a movie and not in a cliché way. For how young Jean was at this point and so sick still, their conversation, although simple, was so moving! It's a "back to square one" in terms of money and symbolically returning to Jean with the vulnerability of a cornered young adult. Chef's kiss!

And, of course, the hindrance called Jack still wouldn't let these "jokes" go after getting what he wanted... Ugh. If King already had a sadistic side while fighting before, now she has all the more reason to enjoy releasing the tension from the humiliation of this deal. I feel like a time-traveler watching things unfold here, haha.

There's never a dull moment in the King-verse and I thank you and jojo for the amazing job on this finale!
11/11/2020 c8 46RobertCop3
So, if current events had gone differently, I probably could not have brought myself to finish reading this. But, the good guys won in the real world, so here I am! ( :

This one was hard... so many reminders of how much this is messing up King's life and her plan, and Jack just doesn't give a shit. It's a facet of her personality that really gets explored in the first KoF fic you submitted... what was it now? Three years ago? Anyway, King hates feeling helpless. And this is about as helpless as it gets for her, until her next ordeal years later. : (

Beautiful scene between her and Jean. Ironically, it was probably one of the easiest parts to read.

So, in the end, the only way she can vent her frustrations is by doing what she does best. And all she can do is pretend her victims are her blackmailer. Not gonna lie, I wouldn't mind seeing a revenge sequel to this that takes place a long time after the fact. ( ;

And you know I'll always listen to complaints. What are friends for? ( :
11/6/2020 c8 135jojoDO
Thus ends one of the very first chapters in the story of Cecille Levasseur... and of course, it doesn't end with "happily ever after". It probably never will, because this is a harsh, unforgiving world, and King is but one player in it. It was a very REAL ending: the kind that doesn't have a nice, pretty resolution. That's not reality, and this story is going for that tone.

And we all know she means well; but the environment she's in, the people she has to be around, be it mobsters, or her mean family... they mold her. They make her wear a less pretty face, and that's what really shows in the closing paragraphs, where she literally has to use violence as an outlet for her frustrations. It's not who she IS... but it's just what she's had to become, as a result of all these nasty factors.

But anyone knows that King is really just a girl who loves her brother. That's all she is. When you look past the mob, the blackmail from Jack, the rift between her and Maddy and Gary, the orders she has to follow from Big... that piece of her still remains. The girl that loves her brother.

This was an excellent ending, and I'm happy I was able to play a role in it. Congrats, illy!
10/27/2020 c7 jojoDO
..Ended badly indeed o _ o jeez louise. You know, it's so RARE that we see Jack Turner in anything other than a comedic or ridiculous light. I mean... the fat guy blows bubbles and likes interpretive dance. He's a goofball!

...But you, illyrilex, you have transformed him into the villain he was truly meant to be A bad, bad, BAAD dude. A guy who objectifies women, who is violent, rude, takes advantage of people. The worst part is that he does indeed have King by the fake balls... and that really sucks for her, because I feel like any normal person with financial problems can relate to this plight. Just imagine, paying 70% taxes... it's a nightmare! I think, and this is probably a horrible thing to say... but I think, deep down, king would RATHER be Jack's sex slave than give up her hard-earned blood money.

This is... yikes. Just, yikes. I'm extremely curious to know how King will get out of this pickle, because this is a SERIOUS pickle. Wow.
10/21/2020 c7 46RobertCop3
So, King was already faced with the dilemma of how to get out once she had her money. Now things have gotten a lot more complicated.

I know this one took a lot of effort, but it definitely paid off. It conveyed all the suspense and creepiness you were aiming for. And I admire King, for still being so defiant in the face of overwhelming sleaze.

It'll be interesting to see how this ends. I'm sure it'll be awesome.
10/14/2020 c7 iwewia
Another one for the list of impressive Illy chapters! I was captured by every line, feeling the panic of our Kingy towards the repulsive Turner. There are so many impressive chapters in the King-verse, yet I think that this one is very important for building the background we recognize from the games. Amazing work! My only criticism is just about Jack saying "hon'", like, a lot. Haha.

At some moments, it read like a "life flashing before my eyes" for King. Her immediate danger, then the threats to Jessica, the loyalty and love for Jean... So immersive! Your writing evokes empathy without being condescending and especially in the most difficult situations. I wonder if she's going to talk about this with Jessica since we know what she thinks of this job.
10/5/2020 c6 RobertCop3
I got the Kafka reference right away! But that's just because I've used that title myself.

Man, this was intense. You can tell right away that the others are gaining some respect for King, and at the moment they don't seem to think very highly of Jack. And you don't expect him to be as cunning as he is, but he's been following and watching. And also, I feel like maybe he initially had a feeling about King because she was "the one who got away." Least, that's my theory. But King underestimated him, as I feel we all did.

So, yeah, I'm glad you beta'd this so much, because the end result was pure gold. Creepy, suspenseful gold. And you chose the right way to go about it.

And then you ended on a cliffhanger. I know what I'd like to see happen, but we already know things went a different way. So I'm still gonna be shitting bricks a little, but you know I'll read it. Though probably with a drink in hand. ( ;
10/5/2020 c5 RobertCop3
Another short chapter that was loaded with info.

King's dilemma is very real. The mob is not a civil service job. And even though it was brief, that just makes the research you did on rare diseases all that more impressive. That's probably more research than I've ever done regarding Melanie and styles of knife combat.

And I feel for King now more than ever. Even before her secret was out, she could never do right. But then that wonderful moment between King and her brother only reminds us what this is all for, and re-hardens King's resolve.

And now, onto the next...
10/4/2020 c6 iwewia
"Let's get to know you", when said to someone who is trying to conceal their identity, is an awful thing. You make great use of the setup of this being just another ordinary day at work, building it up to confirm that the tense atmosphere was justified - she was being followed.

The candy analogy was something I had to think about a little bit, first because I was trying to remember if you've ever written King consuming chocolate, then because it's slang for hallucinogens in my country and then I read it again once she mentioned Jessica and it clicked that it's sexual innuendo. Hope I got it right!

The dangerous nature of this job that she does so she can help her brother and now seems to put Jessica's well-being at risk is a bucket of cold water to a King that takes pride and enjoyment out of kicking ass. If the consequences come, they will be heavy. SO hyped for the next chapter after this creepy ending!
10/3/2020 c4 RobertCop3
So, King is having a great day... and then it all comes crashing down.

I keep having to remind myself that we're not supposed to hate Jessica just yet. But at the same time, their fight felt very natural, and provided us some foreshadowing. King's line about honesty was particularly biting, and we get the sense that Jess's opinion of her is not as lofty as we thought. But at the same time, it also feels like maybe she said SOME of those things out of concern. And also what if some of them are partially true?

Whether it's angst between friends or angst between couples, once more Illy delivers with style! Feels like shit might hit the fan soon...
10/2/2020 c6 135jojoDO
This is something I've been waiting for for a long, long time: a look back in the past, with King's dynamic with the gang. A day in the life of King, to put it simply. Her goings on with the assholes she's forced to associate with. And well.. this delivered! I found it kinda cute how the others were sticking up for King, like "leave the new guy alone dude". I thought that was pretty amusing : )

...But yeah. Jack knows too much. WAAAAY TOO MUCH. He needs to go. Hurry, King! Hard kick, jump back, throw, fireball on wakeup to dizzy! Gets him every time! : D

This is getting tense AF.
10/1/2020 c5 jojoDO
Well if she doubted herself... this is the reality check she needed. Just one interaction with her shitbag aunt and uncle, and seeing the poor, sickly form of her brother, and she feels stronger than ever about her resolve. Very effective! And this is, if I'm right, the first time we actually see sick Jean in your universe? Poor kid... it's rough. No wonder King is so motivated, despite having two a-holes to always put her down.

This was a powerful, necessary chapter for King's motivation.
9/28/2020 c5 iwewia
It seems as though every chapter explores a different layer of Kingy's life during this time. Loving this concept! Not loving seeing lovely Jean in so much pain, however. Thankfully you've shown that he is better in the future of the King-verse so the pain of reading about him suffering is short-lived.

Knowing very little about American health care, I just know that it does get very expensive so that plus your research about Jean's illness paints a clear picture of how tied the family's hands are. And the parallel of Mary going that extra mile to make sure King is safe and King going the extra mile to make sure Jean gets the treatment is very strong still.
9/25/2020 c4 iwewia
It's nice to read past Kingy being happy and vulnerable in a relationship. Their conversation was tough... I can understand Jessica's concern but, also, this is such a key moment in King's life and what would define her as a character so to see this point in the timeline being discussed from her intimate perspective is incredibly interesting.

The sadism and King's habit of underestimating her opponents is present and it is building up an atmosphere. I feel an ambush in the air...
9/23/2020 c4 jojoDO
I can totally get behind that opening scene. I totally get it; the THRILL of doing something just awesome... and still tingling afterwards, like you have a nuclear glow. And King thankfully has someone to share these feelings with, and Jess probably... uh... they probably had a thrilling time : D

...The rest of the chapter tho. Yikes. Yyyyyikes. That king of thing REALLY breaks my heart in stories: two people being together, and then fighting. There's something just really rotten about it to me, like... such an intimate evening gets SPOILED by a fight. it's one of the worst things. I hate it T _ T

Jess was natural in her concerns tho. But King is of course too headstrong and stubborn to listen, and her Aries blood instantly turned that into an unfortunate end to their romantic evening :c aww! I hate it so bad that they fought.

...Don't tell me Peeper McPeepin followed her?! O - O that unsettling feeling didn't just come from nowhere!
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