for Vow of the King5/12 c43 ElementalMaster16
Fun chapter! That relation conversation went way smoother and quicker than I thought something like that might be.
Fun chapter! That relation conversation went way smoother and quicker than I thought something like that might be.
5/11 c43 
14Ikrani
Shame about your PMs. Fanfiction really needs to crack down on them.
Still, good chapter. Nice bit of progress on a lot of threads. I look forward to reading about the harem girls' dates, and the possibility of Yoruichi and (adult form) Nelliel joining in on the lovin'.
14IkraniShame about your PMs. Fanfiction really needs to crack down on them.
Still, good chapter. Nice bit of progress on a lot of threads. I look forward to reading about the harem girls' dates, and the possibility of Yoruichi and (adult form) Nelliel joining in on the lovin'.
5/10 c43 2merendinoemiliano
Beautiful tension, very Happy you returned on this. Cannot wait to see more
2merendinoemilianoBeautiful tension, very Happy you returned on this. Cannot wait to see more
5/10 c43 Moose16364
Nanao's part was too funny and the Murder Milf part had me rolling. Candice is so very dead when Murder Mommy found out
Nanao's part was too funny and the Murder Milf part had me rolling. Candice is so very dead when Murder Mommy found out
5/9 c43 4KuroArashi94
Solid chapter. Will address the sass real quick. Anime and light novels do support a Uni Ichigo or higher scale. The soul king candidate plot point, lore of the cosmology, and data books support it. Narratively its supported just saying.
4KuroArashi94Solid chapter. Will address the sass real quick. Anime and light novels do support a Uni Ichigo or higher scale. The soul king candidate plot point, lore of the cosmology, and data books support it. Narratively its supported just saying.
4/3 c42 17SpiralAK
I've caught up, and I'd say you stuck the landing, for the most part. Ichigo definitely beat Aizen, which is good, even if it was a little too close to the original story, and it has consequences that are both believable and intriguing (how does Ichigo deal with being at Aizen's threshold of power?). The shift to slice-of-life works to cool down the tension and stakes while giving the cast time to breathe, and it's entertaining to boot. And the harem/polycule antics are... reasonably handled because everyone involved is a character first instead of wish-fulfillment, though I think you have enough members between Nemu, Candice, Unohana and Isane (maybe Lisa if you really want one more).
This actually feels like a decently written Ichigo/Harem story, which is something I almost never thought I'd get to read. I'm not sure where the story's going since Yhwach is out of the plot, but I'll keep on reading to see where you take us readers.
17SpiralAKI've caught up, and I'd say you stuck the landing, for the most part. Ichigo definitely beat Aizen, which is good, even if it was a little too close to the original story, and it has consequences that are both believable and intriguing (how does Ichigo deal with being at Aizen's threshold of power?). The shift to slice-of-life works to cool down the tension and stakes while giving the cast time to breathe, and it's entertaining to boot. And the harem/polycule antics are... reasonably handled because everyone involved is a character first instead of wish-fulfillment, though I think you have enough members between Nemu, Candice, Unohana and Isane (maybe Lisa if you really want one more).
This actually feels like a decently written Ichigo/Harem story, which is something I almost never thought I'd get to read. I'm not sure where the story's going since Yhwach is out of the plot, but I'll keep on reading to see where you take us readers.
3/27 c42 jonat.hernan962
Ikumi Unagiya meets her match.
*Ikumi Unagiya was finally glad she had her employee Ichigo back after he spent so long dodging her. But she did not expect what was about to happen next when she heard a knock on the door.*
Unohana: excuse me is Ichigo here. I’m here to pick him up.
*Ikumi did not expect to see a very beautiful mature woman waiting for Ichigo, dressed in casual wear that showed off her long front braid.*
Ikumi: um he is in the other room. Sorry but he will be will be working all night to make up for the time he missed.
Unohana: I see, I hope you’re not overworking him. It’s not good for him. Can you please allow him to leave early.
*Retsu quickly gave a kind but terrifying smile as she began exuding an aura of terror. Her fellow soul reapers would know what this and it was something most could not brush. As shown with how Retsu quickly began to scare Ikumi.*
*Ikumi knew she herself was a scary woman when she wanted to be but this woman was a whole other beast. As she quickly began to reassess her situation.*
Ikumi *nervous* on second thought he has worked enough. Hey Ichigo you’re free to go!
*Ichigo came out of the other room having finished his tasks. Surprised that his boss is letting him go when he sees Retsu. His suprises turns to joy when he sees his lover. He quickly goes to greet her.*
Ichigo: Retsu I’m so glad you’re here. Is Isane with you?
Retsu: Yes. She is waiting outside for us. We should get going otherwise we might be late.
*Ikumi confusing at the fact these two seemingly know each turns to shock when they kiss each other. It was somewhat short but very loving and lustful kiss judging by the way there tongues moved in each others mouths and the strand of saliva when they separated.*
*Ikumi says nothing as the couple exits through the door. As they greet the shy tall women waiting for them outside the door. All Ikumi could do is wish all three of them the best.*
Notes;
(Despite being a captain that gets paid well enough and an extreme powerful being on top of all of that I imagine Ichigo still needs to keep up appearances in the human world. Such as finish his education, get a part time job, and etc. you know normal human stuff. So no one suspects anything weird from him. Which is why he is working for Ikumi despite not needing to.)
( context clues; Ichigo, Isane, and Unohana have been given a few days off. So they have events planned for their free time. Such as reservations at a nice restaurant, a few other activities to do together, and a hotel room they will be staying in together. Considering Ichigo’s virility and libido which is comparable to his stamina in combat which is nigh limitless Unohana and Isane have packed accordingly, which means they have brought A LOT of birth control pills.)
(Unohana has asked Ichigo to call her Retsu in public but when it’s just them he can call her Yachiru.)
Ikumi Unagiya meets her match.
*Ikumi Unagiya was finally glad she had her employee Ichigo back after he spent so long dodging her. But she did not expect what was about to happen next when she heard a knock on the door.*
Unohana: excuse me is Ichigo here. I’m here to pick him up.
*Ikumi did not expect to see a very beautiful mature woman waiting for Ichigo, dressed in casual wear that showed off her long front braid.*
Ikumi: um he is in the other room. Sorry but he will be will be working all night to make up for the time he missed.
Unohana: I see, I hope you’re not overworking him. It’s not good for him. Can you please allow him to leave early.
*Retsu quickly gave a kind but terrifying smile as she began exuding an aura of terror. Her fellow soul reapers would know what this and it was something most could not brush. As shown with how Retsu quickly began to scare Ikumi.*
*Ikumi knew she herself was a scary woman when she wanted to be but this woman was a whole other beast. As she quickly began to reassess her situation.*
Ikumi *nervous* on second thought he has worked enough. Hey Ichigo you’re free to go!
*Ichigo came out of the other room having finished his tasks. Surprised that his boss is letting him go when he sees Retsu. His suprises turns to joy when he sees his lover. He quickly goes to greet her.*
Ichigo: Retsu I’m so glad you’re here. Is Isane with you?
Retsu: Yes. She is waiting outside for us. We should get going otherwise we might be late.
*Ikumi confusing at the fact these two seemingly know each turns to shock when they kiss each other. It was somewhat short but very loving and lustful kiss judging by the way there tongues moved in each others mouths and the strand of saliva when they separated.*
*Ikumi says nothing as the couple exits through the door. As they greet the shy tall women waiting for them outside the door. All Ikumi could do is wish all three of them the best.*
Notes;
(Despite being a captain that gets paid well enough and an extreme powerful being on top of all of that I imagine Ichigo still needs to keep up appearances in the human world. Such as finish his education, get a part time job, and etc. you know normal human stuff. So no one suspects anything weird from him. Which is why he is working for Ikumi despite not needing to.)
( context clues; Ichigo, Isane, and Unohana have been given a few days off. So they have events planned for their free time. Such as reservations at a nice restaurant, a few other activities to do together, and a hotel room they will be staying in together. Considering Ichigo’s virility and libido which is comparable to his stamina in combat which is nigh limitless Unohana and Isane have packed accordingly, which means they have brought A LOT of birth control pills.)
(Unohana has asked Ichigo to call her Retsu in public but when it’s just them he can call her Yachiru.)
3/14 c2 Moose16364
He's in Sweden and you sent him there because Du är svensk själv och ville ha lite representation
He's in Sweden and you sent him there because Du är svensk själv och ville ha lite representation
3/14 c11 Rengerr
I really enjoyed the story at the beginning, I liked the switch with Nemu, and for a time I honestly enjoyed it more than the original with Rukia, mainly because you wrote romance. But the further I read the more I start to dislike your way of writing this story.
There hasn't been a single fight that I agreed with, not one outcome of a battle that I felt was satisfying, and you are trampling on the powerlevels of everyone like it's no one's buisness.
Trained Ichigo, who knows Zanjutsu, Kido, and has a dedicated Shikai has a harder time than untrained, untested, and untried Ichigo. You gave Ichigo fucking Saber from Fate-literally one of the greatest fighters in all of anime, and he struggled against Rukia and fucking Renji, and the one battle where he should have been utterly slaughtered, against First Mama Kenpatchi, he lived.
Tatsuki and Orihime's fights are utter bullshit, and you've basically given Tatsuki cannon Ichigo's attitude to fighting, and then wrapped her up in five feet of plot armor. Ikakku should have destroyed her, and well, then she fought Yachiru, Zaraki's shikai, which at this point in the story is arguably, cannonically stronger then fucking Kenpatchi himself, has absulutly no hang ups about killing and still Tatsuki won.
And let's not get into fucking Uryu against Byakuya. Where did that asspull come from? Where was Uryu's 20 day training montage? Nothing in Uryu's arsenal would allow him to even do anything to Byakua. The dude has such mastery over shunpo that nothing except for Yoruichi and Ichigo in Bankai even phased him before the Arrancar Arc. But Uryu sure did! Wow.
And Candice and BAmbietta? Fuck you. Seriously those two chicks singlehandedly took apart half of the Sereitei with the help of thier two other girl scouts. They nearly killed Zaraki and it took Ichigo's final Shikai to take them out. But I guess the Sternritter too have thier Shounen arc and they still need to grow into thier Shrift.
I really enjoyed the story at the beginning, I liked the switch with Nemu, and for a time I honestly enjoyed it more than the original with Rukia, mainly because you wrote romance. But the further I read the more I start to dislike your way of writing this story.
There hasn't been a single fight that I agreed with, not one outcome of a battle that I felt was satisfying, and you are trampling on the powerlevels of everyone like it's no one's buisness.
Trained Ichigo, who knows Zanjutsu, Kido, and has a dedicated Shikai has a harder time than untrained, untested, and untried Ichigo. You gave Ichigo fucking Saber from Fate-literally one of the greatest fighters in all of anime, and he struggled against Rukia and fucking Renji, and the one battle where he should have been utterly slaughtered, against First Mama Kenpatchi, he lived.
Tatsuki and Orihime's fights are utter bullshit, and you've basically given Tatsuki cannon Ichigo's attitude to fighting, and then wrapped her up in five feet of plot armor. Ikakku should have destroyed her, and well, then she fought Yachiru, Zaraki's shikai, which at this point in the story is arguably, cannonically stronger then fucking Kenpatchi himself, has absulutly no hang ups about killing and still Tatsuki won.
And let's not get into fucking Uryu against Byakuya. Where did that asspull come from? Where was Uryu's 20 day training montage? Nothing in Uryu's arsenal would allow him to even do anything to Byakua. The dude has such mastery over shunpo that nothing except for Yoruichi and Ichigo in Bankai even phased him before the Arrancar Arc. But Uryu sure did! Wow.
And Candice and BAmbietta? Fuck you. Seriously those two chicks singlehandedly took apart half of the Sereitei with the help of thier two other girl scouts. They nearly killed Zaraki and it took Ichigo's final Shikai to take them out. But I guess the Sternritter too have thier Shounen arc and they still need to grow into thier Shrift.
3/4 c12 Neotono
Momo could destroy Orihime with ease. Orihime's shields are pretty weak and her attacks are negligible. She couldn't even beat the schmuck who was Shunsui's third seat in canon yet Uryu made him look like a joke. Also Momo is a kido prodigy and as a Lieutenant level Shinigami would have advanced strength and would break out of a chokehold from an average teenage girl easily. I doubt she'd even need her shikai honestly. I know Momo is Bleach's punching bag but she is powerful.
I'm honestly not feeling Ichigo's zanpaktou. It just seems particularly underwhelming. I know Zangetsu wasn't anything special (well when Ichigo used it since he never wielded it properly) but it was better than this. His Saber spirit is a boring monotonous spirit too with zero personality.
I'm hoping this story picks up soon because it is a little dull at the minute.
Momo could destroy Orihime with ease. Orihime's shields are pretty weak and her attacks are negligible. She couldn't even beat the schmuck who was Shunsui's third seat in canon yet Uryu made him look like a joke. Also Momo is a kido prodigy and as a Lieutenant level Shinigami would have advanced strength and would break out of a chokehold from an average teenage girl easily. I doubt she'd even need her shikai honestly. I know Momo is Bleach's punching bag but she is powerful.
I'm honestly not feeling Ichigo's zanpaktou. It just seems particularly underwhelming. I know Zangetsu wasn't anything special (well when Ichigo used it since he never wielded it properly) but it was better than this. His Saber spirit is a boring monotonous spirit too with zero personality.
I'm hoping this story picks up soon because it is a little dull at the minute.
3/3 c11 Neotono
While this story is ok the fights really aren't. Not only do Tatsuki's powers just stupid but she has no business beating any of yher two opponents. The only way she would even stand a chance against Ikkaku is if he messed around (which he wasn't) she'd stand no chance against Yachiru even with a convenient powerup that she just got for no reason. The relationship with Orihime is just plain bad too and only there so you have a excuse to write girl/girl scenes.
Uryu wouldn't win against Byakuya either, even with the sacrificial tevhnique since Byakuya is fast enough to just blitz him, especially with his bankai active. Chad wouldn't win against Omaeda either. I don't like Omaeda but he is leagues faster than Chad and lets be fair Chad is completely worthless.
I have no complaints about the quincy gitls except their inconsistent power and the mere fact they were adddd for no reason. They were also two unknowns and I doubt a man as calculating as Urahara would allow them to join.
Also Ichigo running headfirst into wall wasn't funny or clever it was just plain dumb and only there so Aizen can have a conversation that ultimately led nowhere. His new Zanpaktou is really underwhelming also, should have stuck with Zangetsu. I hope his hollow is still a thing since Isshin still lost his powers to save Masaki so White would still have latched onto Ichigo. That hasn't changed so Ichigo should still have his hollow aspects later on.
I can't say anything about the harem since other than Nemu I don't know how any others join. Also Isane Unohana.
While this story is ok the fights really aren't. Not only do Tatsuki's powers just stupid but she has no business beating any of yher two opponents. The only way she would even stand a chance against Ikkaku is if he messed around (which he wasn't) she'd stand no chance against Yachiru even with a convenient powerup that she just got for no reason. The relationship with Orihime is just plain bad too and only there so you have a excuse to write girl/girl scenes.
Uryu wouldn't win against Byakuya either, even with the sacrificial tevhnique since Byakuya is fast enough to just blitz him, especially with his bankai active. Chad wouldn't win against Omaeda either. I don't like Omaeda but he is leagues faster than Chad and lets be fair Chad is completely worthless.
I have no complaints about the quincy gitls except their inconsistent power and the mere fact they were adddd for no reason. They were also two unknowns and I doubt a man as calculating as Urahara would allow them to join.
Also Ichigo running headfirst into wall wasn't funny or clever it was just plain dumb and only there so Aizen can have a conversation that ultimately led nowhere. His new Zanpaktou is really underwhelming also, should have stuck with Zangetsu. I hope his hollow is still a thing since Isshin still lost his powers to save Masaki so White would still have latched onto Ichigo. That hasn't changed so Ichigo should still have his hollow aspects later on.
I can't say anything about the harem since other than Nemu I don't know how any others join. Also Isane Unohana.