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10/19 c28 LadyJaguar1
Fantastic story!
10/11 c27 G Fawkes
I've spent most of forty years trying to negate my mother shoving her Methodist church (Ohio, not that southwestern crap, at least) down my throat, slightly derailed when my wife wanted to raise my son Catholic. Twelve more years of torture, there, and only the occasional Christmas Eve visit since. So a good, solid, twenty years of Flaming Atheism at least.
Working my way past those feelings, I read, and completed this fic. It was NOT easy.
After inspiration by Old Crow's comments to a few authors I've seen, I'm thinking short, sweet, and nice will win the day over constructive criticism. The plot itself was great. Nice work.
10/13 c28 LtsHrIt4ThBoyz
What an awesome premise! You definitely do "original" with style, "Vash"! I'm *not* an anglophile, but I do enjoy reading stories where the British Royals aren't just placeholders and UK government is not just "in the know" but are actively working to put an end to the bs, corruption, and tyranny that makes up the MoM of GB! "Rowling" didn't like the idea of the government or *any* LEO doing their jobs or fulfilling their *sworn* obligations, did "she"?

Great ending! You did a fine job of tying up those loose ends!
Well, I'm on to your newest which is already looking to be interesting!
So, long and thanks for all the fish! ;D
MelJ
10/10 c25 G F
There are mistakes... and then there are MISTAKES. The bad ones change the entire meaning of everything you are writing. I'm reminded of a paper one of my ex's kids wrote when she was still teaching (Special Ed). On and on the boy wrote, and it was riveting. Quite well done. Except he had used the same, wrong word, over and over, probably twenty times in the several page report. He had transposed 'warehouse' into 'WHOREHOUSE'.
Above, before Harry's task begins, the chain is on a 'winch'... not a WENCH.
Not quite the same impact as the warehouse story, but amusing.
10/10 c24 LtsHrIt4ThBoyz
I think you're just reading through *my* "Favorites" list! ;D Lol!

So, that's why Joseph was taken!

I'd like to see Frank & Alice push Augusta through the veil!

I'm glad Briokz was able to get Harry to hold off for a few months; Draco needs to learn his lesson and maybe see life from the other side of magic!

This is a scary world you've created but only because I can see the parallels to what's going on in RL here! When you've grown up in an America where your political affiliation, your gender, your sexual orientation, your Belief or un-Belief were all your *personal choice* and you weren't prosecuted or with the exception of an extremely tiny vocal minority, persecuted for those choices; to now hear fanatical morons who weren't even *legally* elected attempting to file legislation to prosecute anyone who registers as a "Republican" or *demanding* that Christian Conservatives be put into "detainment centers", you *know* you're not in Kansas anymore or more likely, that you've stepped through the "looking glass"!

That's what *your* version of "Wizarding" Britain looks like and "Rowling's" version was just as bad!

The *psychos* are in charge of the asylum! Is it life imitating art?

See ya!
MelJ
10/10 c22 LtsHrIt4ThBoyz
Another of my all-time favorite stories! I recognized the game cuz I just re-read the story again last weekend!
My return recommendations: Not Normal and The New Normal by Radaslab. What first caught my fancy was the 'dimensional, expanded trunks' idea which is brilliant AND canon! M-E Moody was trapped in the "basement" of his own dimensional trunk and they used the fancy expanded tents at the World Cup. The second thing was that Radaslab used Dumble's "grandfatherly" facade while revealing and allowing Harry & Co. to undo his evil machinations right under his crooked nose; Rad took the idea of "looks fair, but feels foul" and ran with it!

Seeing reminders of stories that I already love is why I have 50 tabs open all the time: I'll read a story that reminds me of something written by Robst or another fav and then I end up having to re-read his catalog or makes me go searching for a story with that premise; fix-its, time-travel, etc. Thanks for the rec! ;D
-&.*&

Okay, so I don't think they had Kyle poison Luna and portkey 'Mione & Joseph away so they could be used as hostages in the tourney!

Algie's dead, so the dissolved concubine contract isn't why she's been taken and nobody knows about Joseph's connection to the French Royals. Taking OoM Squires risks starting a war with the Knights...

I think Harry needs to re-examine Luna's prophecy about what would happen if Hermione went back to Britain.

Okay, so now everybody thinks that Dumbles is a good guy again! Sheesh! No matter what story I read with Dumbelldork acting like a good guy I'm always "watching his hands" for the knife! Once bitten, twice shy, babe!

Thanks!
MelJ
10/10 c20 LtsHrIt4ThBoyz
My Lord! Listening to Dumbasadoor was like listening to faux Joe Biden, the satan-worshipping pedophile with dementia!

Wow! There's an awful lot of evil, Harry and the Order have to overcome just to finish the tournament! Not only is the government infested with corruption, but then you have all the "lesser" evil-doers just trying to get their own way; oblivious to sickness that's infected the Ministry! To them, it's just how you get things done.

It makes me think about the naive but sweet little "feel-good" movie "Dave". How they show the "Presidential" prick and his cronies working to destroy good works and corrupt his own Cabinet by telling them that *he* doesn't want to look like a prick; that it's *their* job to make the "Works" bill look so bad that he'll look like a hero to veto it.

Then sweet, naive Dave steps up to the plate and shows them how "easy" it is to do the right thing! I've *always* thought so too, but I've lost *several* jobs over the years by standing up and doing what was Right over what was Easy! Do you know what I've been told repeatedly over that same time period? That *I* have an "overdeveloped" sense of right and wrong!

I wonder if St. Michael's will discover that there's more wrong with Allpus than just a withering curse slowly taking his life? Several HPff authors seem to think that it's creeping senility that caused AD to behave so erratically and to hold his plans so close-to-the-vest, and that his multiple machinations were merely symptoms stemming from that affliction. I disagree entirely.

Why were the little "clues" about his past shown in canon? If he's just a "good" man who has begun to lose his faculties or because he's been too "cloistered" -insulated- by his many positions and responsibilities (Right! He's got a constantly new influx of *children* from the "outside" world every. single. year. that bring news of the changing world INTO his "ivory tower", that it would be impossible to dismiss the advancements and rapid growth of non-magical society without making a concerted *effort* to do so!) that he's become "hyper-focused" on the evil of Moldy Warts and his defeat, to the exclusion of all else, WHY NOT JUST SHOW THAT?

Why SHOW his past infatuation and collusion with Grindlewald if it has *no* bearing and influence on his current actions?! His machinations and manipulations over the past 77 /- years take on a *lot* more sinister tilt in light of those revelations:

Why continually force "muggle-borns" and other children from blatantly abusive homes (Tom wasn't even living in a family situation, so that blows his "families love each other" reasoning for believing child abuse doesn't happen right out of the water!) to return to their abusers every year? Sounds to me like he's hoping they'll die and won't come back! And that's just ONE of his policies that demonstrates that he's *not* a "good" guy and that he has an agenda that's not for the good of *all*!

Which ones are the "Greater" of the "greater good"? And if there's a "greater" good then there must be a "lesser" good and who put HIM in charge of deciding? Who made *him* God?!

It seems to me that he *never* put away *his* plans that he wrote to Grindlewald about; all of his machinations and manipulations point to it going forward as stated!

Have you ever watched "It's A Wonderful Life!"? "George Bailey" makes some very astute and telling observations throughout the movie that I think are relevant to "Rowling's" stories and RL. Every time I hear about the media hyping the "pandemic" (I haven't watched the MSM in *decades*; ever since they and the government shills *covered up* the unexploded bombs found planted in the Murrah building in Oklahoma City in 1995!) I hear George yelling, "Potter isn't selling, Potter's buying! All because we're panicky and he's not!"

That's what the MSM is *selling*: Fear! Fear of something (IF it even exists.) that is easily *cured* by taking HCQ and some otc immune-boosting supplements! Even the vax manufactures have said that "*naturally* acquired immunity" is better than *any* vax! Fauci said the same thing in 2005 (I've got the video!), so what changed besides the size of his bank balance?

Anyhoo! Thanks for the chapter! I'm on the edge of my seat and you've got me "chewing my nails"! There's an awful lot of "shoes" waiting to drop! ;)

Oh, another thing: Why would Zora Zabini come in on Augusta Longbottom's side against Neville?! I'm hoping it's just a ploy by her to get back at Algie and Augusta; surely she heard him gloat over the years about his plans for Neville? She *said* it was him killing off her husbands and making it look like she was a "black widow", so why would she side *against* the one who "freed" her's best friend and godbrother?

Fleur is *creepy* creepy!

I'm wondering if they're really detecting the diary at Hogwarts or "Dracomort"? Also, even in canon, they state that the moment that Moldy possessed Quirrel that he became a "walking dead man" (I guess Ginny experienced a "lite-possession": All the displacement but with half the evil! ;D), so are the Malfoys really so naive/stupid to believe that when Moldy "moves on" from Draco, that Draco will survive?

Thanks, again!
MelJ
10/8 c17 G Fawkes
Just to be a suck-up, I like Rob, too.
10/7 c14 G Fawkes
So, I guess we wait to find out WHY you are not letting Harry grow.

I know! He is going to go to bed one night, toss and turn, get wound up in his covers, sweat profusely, dream of ravaging Hermione, and wake up all buff and hunky, kinda' like Spiderman?!
10/8 c8 LtsHrIt4ThBoyz
This has thus far, been a very wild/weird ride, but some of it's starting to make more sense. The trio, but especially Harry is playing a "long con" which, in the short term they appear to be repeatedly getting screwed by the corruption that seems to permeate *every* facet of British magical society; up to and including the Goblins of Gringotts.

I was hoping that Harry's and the Order's seeming reverence for DAF was supposititious; part of the con but as you are including those who are making these declaration's inner thoughts, I can only think that they truly believe what they're saying!

I truly, truly hope that you -and they- stop saying that! Every time I read someone say what a "great" man and/or "amazing 'Warrior' for the Light" that Allbutt Dumbasf*** is I'm filled with such repugnance that it makes me want to quit reading this in *disgust*!

I don't read those HPff stories that are an ode to Dumbles because the very idea makes me nauseous: That character is too close to how satan is depicted in the Bible: "He looks fair, but feels foul!"

If Dumble's actions were allowed to speak for themselves, *without* "Rowling's" spin and characterization of him as the "Leader of the Light"... Tolkien's "Saruman" was named "Saruman the White" but Tolkien allowed his actions to show that he was anything but! Don't you see the parallels (stolen) between Tolkien's Saruman and Dumbledore? (*That's* just one of the things that make me think that the *real* writers, the Bloomsbury ghostwriters, put in little caveats; little "winks and a nod" to the more intelligent readers to show that Dumbledore *wasn't* the "good and righteous" leader & mentor Rowling was attempting to force down our throats!) Saruman *was* evil and was grasping to make a "power play" against Sauron and declared himself "Saruman of Many Colors" and his robes became a riot of colors that Gandalf described as "hurting the eye"! Compare that to Dumbledark: He wears "multi-colored robes" with moving designs!

I believe you've managed to out-corrupt "Rowling's" British magical society and that takes some doing!

I think you're doing a fabulous job depicting the Longbottom Regent and her slimy brother, Algernon! One thing tho': I didn't think "Regents" had the power to make contracts for their Wards. They can make decisions for the disposition of the estate up to a point, but after the Ward reaches the age of reason, arbitrarily considered to be puberty or 13 years of age, then the Regent can only make decisions in consultation with their Ward and those decisions must be in writing with the Ward's signature affixed with witnesses, but they certainly can't make marriage and betrothal contracts unless it's at the *request* of the Ward and aren't considered *binding* until or unless they reach their majority or are *ruled* an adult and affirm them. It's been this way since the signing of the Magna Carta! The Knights should have been consulted and might have had the power to overturn the patently illegal contracts.

Movin' on!
Thanks!
MelJ
10/7 c2 LtsHrIt4ThBoyz
How old are you to remember one of the giants of the cinema, "the esteemed Vincent Price"? Have you ever seen him in any of his *non*-scary movie roles? Watch "Leave Her To Heaven": *he's* not scary but the story will send chills down your spine! And it's *not* even a horror movie! He's one of my favorite old actors. Oh, another one "Keys to the Kingdom": He's got a neat part as the Monseigneur.

I find it very odd that *today's* actors who work in "Horror" and even scary movies are either cracked themselves or think they have to be, but the actors who played in the horror movie *classics*, Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney (Sr. & Jr.), Vincent Price, Boris Karloff, and others were some of the nicest people on the planet!
-&.*&

Gosh, now I'm anxious about the "trio" having to go to Hogwarts; I hope you blow Dingleberry up early! I don't consider it "bashing" if that's what the canon character deserved in the 1st place! ;D

Thanks!
MelJ
10/7 c1 LtsHrIt4ThBoyz
No, I'm far from offended, I'm actually *thrilled* to be reading a HPff with a faith-based premise! I've read so many stories where the writers are angry embittered "lapsed" Catholics or are those young folks who were never introduced to our "Father-God" and who take very easily to the ideas of "Paganism" and "Wicca". Some of those stories are terrific as the authors have taken the time to "do their homework" and I find the whole idea of "Mother Magic" as a personified entity quite lovely.

I'm a prime example of a "prodigal daughter" having returned to Our Father's arms about 2-1/2 years ago. I stopped talking to Him and turned my face away from Him back in 2000 when he seemingly allowed my abusive misogynistic ex-husband who I'd been divorced from for 5 years, to use his familial connections and his position as a police officer in a crooked "Justice System" to steal my 6-year-old son in 1999 and then have a crooked judge make it permanent in 2000.

I'd prayed so fervently with "weeping and gnashing of teeth" for my Savior to aid me in my fight against this evil made manifest, that when the judge refused to allow any of my evidence, hear my witnesses, or even allow me to testify in my own defense, and finally threatened to sever my parental rights to even have visitation if I refused to sign the agreement, I was beyond shocked; I was crushed to the depths of my soul!

This all happened because when I won FULL physical and legal custody of my then 5-month-old son due to his father's psychotic and abusive behavior that was well-documented by his own Lieutenant, co-workers, and neighbors, I was also granted -unbeknownst to me- the ability to take a $2000 deduction on my income taxes.

After he royally screwed me over in 1997 when I allow him to claim my son on his taxes, in 1998 when he asked again I told him I wanted the agreement in writing and notarized. He had a total meltdown! But apparently that's when he began to plan to get custody of my son! His own daughter, my ex-step daughter *told* me what he had planned, but I didn't believe that even as evil as he'd proved to be, as a supposed "Christian" that he'd be able to pull it off. Unbelievably, he even married this poor lady just to get custody and then dumped her after he'd won!

Knowing all this and feeling so powerless to do anything to get my son back. I didn't realize at the time that what was happening was a *spiritual* attack! I'd taken God's blessings for granted, but I'd also begun to see that there was true evil at work in the world and my research into various aspects of that that I'd stumbled upon while researching a paper for school and I was working to expose it, but satan and his demons used my ex to stop all of that AND make me turn away from my Lord.

In 2019, I was separated from my (now) late husband -we'd met and married in 2001; 2 people still reeling from failed marriages and toxic ex-spouses-; he'd fallen into a tequila bottle and after my repeated efforts to save him from himself, he turned on me and threatened to shoot me! He was drunk and I was terrified, so I fled. I took a bus to El Paso to stay with my youngest son who'd just been discharged from the army after completing his 6 year stint. It was him counseling me and reminding me about the power of Faith and that Jesus was just waiting to forgive me for not talking to him for 18 years.

He was right and my prayers for my beloved husband to stop drinking and for reconciliation were answered when Terry called me in June 2019 and said he'd stopped and that he needed me to come home.

Terry went home to Jesus on 10/31/20 due to complications from his *successful* cancer treatments; they killed the cancer but also destroyed his liver in the process. It doesn't feel like it's been nearly a year; I miss him every day! But the day after he passed, I was at the funeral home and I was thinking I just didn't know how I could go on without him and I heard a voice say, "Jesus will now be your husband! Fear not and rely on me!" I have and my Lord fulfills that promise every day.

Anyhoo, I'm looking forward to see how faith in the Lord fits into your story about magic!

Thanks!
MelJ
10/6 c11 G F
I still don't get the Millie betrothal, thing. It's your sandbox, so... I guess the rules are different. Who is she betrothed to currently? It is unlike any I've read before. And that goes back a long time.
When did FFN start? I started reading back when Robst and Crow and Chemprof each only had one or two stories.
Before that, really. I think it was 'Coastalfirebird' had ten or twenty chapters up of "Severus Versus Sirius", which stopped after like 300 chapters or something. It took SEVERAL years. Not on FFN. It was like HER site. Horrifying, but I think she died. The fic was EPIC. I'm gonna have too look that one up. It was at least fifteen years ago.
10/6 c10 G F
Even though I enjoy Rorshoch, I try to never read anything under 10K, or 'bits of this and that'. One shots almost never, unless they're pretty large. Sorry.
10/5 c2 G Fawkes
Ok. Guess I'm old. Never even heard of RWBY before.
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