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for Fate Akasha (Rewrite)

4/29 c11 1killjase
It has become too much of a crack fest. Sorry can't keep reading this.

The others only react and do so in illogical manner.
"He is unpredictable, that's why I like him." - you only met him 10 minutes ago and there were like 50 different things happening at the time. How would you have time to get to know him?
Then there is the little white girls strange obsession and interaction with a servant. You do realise that in the case of Emiya, it's because she knows she is his sister? It doesn't just automatically translate to any male out there.

The story has no breakes. There is not a single moment taken to develop characters.

The MC has personality of avarage isekai protagonist - aka none. This is made worse by the fact that you are trying to give personality to the system without really fleshing out either of them and thus they are both kind of lacking.

I was sticking with this as I like power fantasy in general, but the current story you are making is quickly turning into uncontrollable crack story.
4/27 c33 Time's Avatar
Thank You For The Story.
4/25 c33 Erick-sempai019
Esto es muy malo
4/21 c5 Guest
i was honestly excited when i found this fic. but its is turning out very... meh. making the mc an idiot for plot sake is a bad idea. he remembers all these facts about Fate universe but then he conveniently forgets about Berserkers NP just in time to maintain the plot. and what is with the constant wise cracks between him and the fucking system. its annoying. add the fact that we are in ch. 5 and he has already passed out twice... rly it is turning into a major flop.
4/21 c33 anzafay21
Thanks for the chapter and story sideman!

Really enjoyed reading your work and seeing all the types of powers and weapons you gave to frank when he battled the other servant's it was really cool to see him fight with them and how they fought against the servant's.

Thanks again for the story a little sad we couldn't see and babies running about and the cute moments they would've given us.

Keep up the amazing work! Looking forward to the next story!
4/19 c33 Manno
Great story I really liked reading it.
The noble phantasms and other explanations in the author's notes were interesting since it helps better understand what is happening in the story, unfortunately barely any authors have such a thing.
Also nice that the story is properly finished, unlike many authors that go on an indefinite interlude of many years without finishing it.
Personally I would have appreciated an epilogue that was a bit longer, though it did contain an unexpected twist. I expected the story to end either on a sad note with him leaving the planet, or barring that annihilating Alya and the counterforce. Destroying lot (from countries to continents) in the process.
I didn't read the origional so I don't know what changed (besides the word count), though it is nice that you went back to improve this story and then made it twice as long.
Looking forward to the next chapter on the RWBY story.
4/18 c33 Guest
Shame he couldn’t use his omnipotence to seal away or kill the counter force so that he doesn’t need the jewelry.
4/19 c33 1littleboyblack17
Love it
4/19 c33 Exodus12345
Well he got his life with the girls so I am happy. Thanks for the nice ending.
4/18 c33 Soleilis
After reading all of this, i treated this as Crackfic and Gary Stu Protagonist because your OC can create anything you think hard enough plus the Alter Ego OC main villain? hahahaha, oh really, i can't take this fanfic seriously...

Overall, it's okay the main letdown is OC villain which has same ability with Frank and just self fufulfilment OP OC with power other franchise.
4/18 c20 27Littica Marek
And like that, im out
4/18 c33 Spiderwitch2211
make a story in which in addition to the ordinary servarts of the fifth war of the holy grail there will be for each additional master servart who is a marvel character if you could make it for shirou spiderman.
4/18 c33 9Sultan Asil Arslan
Will there be a sequel to this in FGO?
4/18 c33 smatt9411
Thank you for completing this have a good day and a wonderful life also question are you going to make a side story where you continue the character in grand order
4/17 c33 King's key
Thanks for the good story. And thank god that Alter Ego is DEAD.
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