for Harry Potter The Protector of Magic12/29/2024 c1 redslovelyangel
I'm confused about this story and your writing style.
There are glaring grammar and spelling mistakes throughout the whole thing. Do you not have a beta reader or someone to help you with editing? Or is english not your first launuage? It is the only thing I can think of to excuse some of these mistakes.
There are so many plot holes and jump arounds that I am having problems keeping it all straight in my head. The contradictions are overwhelming as well.
I am not trying to be a bad critic. I'm just confused, is all. This sounds like an amazing story, but it falls flat from the constant reworking I have to do just to make it sound right.
I encourage you to keep writing but please find someone to brainstorm with that can help with these problems.
I'm confused about this story and your writing style.
There are glaring grammar and spelling mistakes throughout the whole thing. Do you not have a beta reader or someone to help you with editing? Or is english not your first launuage? It is the only thing I can think of to excuse some of these mistakes.
There are so many plot holes and jump arounds that I am having problems keeping it all straight in my head. The contradictions are overwhelming as well.
I am not trying to be a bad critic. I'm just confused, is all. This sounds like an amazing story, but it falls flat from the constant reworking I have to do just to make it sound right.
I encourage you to keep writing but please find someone to brainstorm with that can help with these problems.
12/26/2024 c57 Gary Brister
I hope Dumbledore gets the kiss, you are very good storytelling and writing, keep up the good work
I hope Dumbledore gets the kiss, you are very good storytelling and writing, keep up the good work
12/23/2024 c53 Gary Brister
I think Charlie got what he deserved, administration was trying to show that they were busy and not a bunch of fuckheads, I hope you keep writing these stories because they are awesome
I think Charlie got what he deserved, administration was trying to show that they were busy and not a bunch of fuckheads, I hope you keep writing these stories because they are awesome
12/20/2024 c49 Gary Brister
You are a very, very good writer, keep up the good work, I’m glad people are getting what they deserve.
You are a very, very good writer, keep up the good work, I’m glad people are getting what they deserve.
12/11/2024 c29 Gary Brister
Anyone that abuses a child in any way needs to die a slow and painful death
Anyone that abuses a child in any way needs to die a slow and painful death
12/1/2024 c2 Wantaknow
your story makes no fucking sense, if death eaters killed snapes family why would he become one?
your story makes no fucking sense, if death eaters killed snapes family why would he become one?
11/23/2024 c27 P.K. Lovecraft1
Chapter 26 dang got chewed out at the end maggie Smith would have really loved this book god bless her soul
Chapter 26 dang got chewed out at the end maggie Smith would have really loved this book god bless her soul
11/23/2024 c20 P.K. Lovecraft1
Even I would want to strangle the old goat Line theft is a serious business in the Harry Potter Universe
Even I would want to strangle the old goat Line theft is a serious business in the Harry Potter Universe
11/12/2024 c11 Gary Brister
You have a lot of typos and words in wrong place in this story, but still good job
You have a lot of typos and words in wrong place in this story, but still good job
10/28/2024 c19 Lamorak Korving
Dumbledore, Hermione know-it-all Granger, and Ron "I'm-not-going-to-do-any-work-because-I-am-
a-pureblood" Weasley will end up with egg on their faces if they keep pursuing Hadrian. I can
guarantee it. My fan casting for Cassiopeia Black is Kate Beckinsale, Mischa Barton as Isola Black,
Christian Bale as Cygnus Black II, Simon Alison as Cygnus Black I, Rufus Sewell as Arcturus
Black II, Katie McGrath as Bellatrix Lestrange, Joanna Lumley as Ursula Flint, Ben Barnes as
Sirius Black III and Gemma Arterton as Elladora Black.
Dumbledore, Hermione know-it-all Granger, and Ron "I'm-not-going-to-do-any-work-because-I-am-
a-pureblood" Weasley will end up with egg on their faces if they keep pursuing Hadrian. I can
guarantee it. My fan casting for Cassiopeia Black is Kate Beckinsale, Mischa Barton as Isola Black,
Christian Bale as Cygnus Black II, Simon Alison as Cygnus Black I, Rufus Sewell as Arcturus
Black II, Katie McGrath as Bellatrix Lestrange, Joanna Lumley as Ursula Flint, Ben Barnes as
Sirius Black III and Gemma Arterton as Elladora Black.
10/28/2024 c18 Lamorak Korving
SEVERUS TOBIAS PRINCE SNAPE makes a very good father for Harry, who makes a truly
excellent father for Harry. Harry, in return, promises to be an excellent Black. He's already
proved it by killing Quirrel without a qualm. Dumbledore is pathetic. He believes that ALL
Dark Wizards and Witches deserve a second chance. They do not! In war, only 1 rule applies:
GET THEM BEFORE HEY GET YOU !
SEVERUS TOBIAS PRINCE SNAPE makes a very good father for Harry, who makes a truly
excellent father for Harry. Harry, in return, promises to be an excellent Black. He's already
proved it by killing Quirrel without a qualm. Dumbledore is pathetic. He believes that ALL
Dark Wizards and Witches deserve a second chance. They do not! In war, only 1 rule applies:
GET THEM BEFORE HEY GET YOU !