Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Evil Within - A, sort-of, Greyguard Love-ish Story

4/5 c3 H.A.Alister
You ever gonna update?
1/27 c1 hotsaucesteve
what are all these random underlines? I'm going insane.
12/7/2020 c1 Ryaan.G
never seen so much cringe in one chapter, but okay. I think it'll be fine after a few edits
11/7/2020 c3 Kitsuna G
I did re-read the chapters again. I'm a whiteknight shipper because in canon it make sense. I like your style and the aspects of your charecters are unque. Hope to see an update soon. Thanks for your time and good day.
11/6/2020 c1 Heku03
Ah, a fellow lancaster shipper. we are really the most chill ship there is, yes that includes whiteknight but i favor a bit more lancaster
11/6/2020 c3 3RonaldM40196867
I love these facts.
10/30/2020 c2 Starlord Master
Peace out!
10/30/2020 c1 Starlord Master
Oh boy.
10/29/2020 c1 7quijibo7609
Okay. I am interested. This caught my attention for the Bleiss tag, but color me legitimately interned.
10/25/2020 c2 Guest
On phone and have very little time so this review will be short.

I've quite enjoyed this read so far, it does a lot to let us soak in the details and in two chapters alone I've already got a good idea of how the characters act. The tone is solid as well.

My only critique is that your spelling is off here and there, and same with your grammar. It leaves me needing to stop and piece together what it is you meant to write out, pulls me out of the moment.

Otherwise the story solid. The excellent setup for an engaging slowburn.

And yes, I do read your author's notes. I've read a good deal of RWBY fanfiction too, which makes your opinion of those stories and what you want to do with yours interesting to follow.
10/25/2020 c2 Kitsuna G
That was great I'm really pumped for vol 8 and I just want to say I do read authors notes and what you said about the fandom is true but we hear the shouts over the even tones so most of the times we hear the worst Opinions of the fans. I never used to be a whiteknight shipper but if you look at the larger story it comes of at the more reasonable outcomes based on the amount of time put into to there interactions. Also in closing I wanted your opinion on something. Jaune is based of joan of arc yes but why 7 sister ? As far as I know the number 7 isn't a factor to joan and any other fairy tail rwby uses as refrence. Except snow white. So I keep coming to the idear of some the crew ending up at jaunes home and weiss staying with the arc 7. I'm rambling sorry to take up your time but I look forword to your next update thanks for your time and keep well.
10/25/2020 c2 22Froggy-slice
holy shit. someone finally said it! lol I cant stand that "labeled a pervert for totally innocent coincidences" and gettin excessively beat up and down for it either. pisses me off. Yes I read your whole author's note haha. Now, on to your fic. I love it. Bleiss is great and i love what you've done with her here. Not a lot of Bleiss fics out there but the use of her here is of the more unique fashion. keep it up, I look forward to reading more. I don't normally leave reviews, mainly because i havent updated any of my fics in ages and i dont want people to know im still active and therefore hound me about my fics. (Old laptop is dead and with it my chapters for now) haha. anyway yeah. definitely look forward to more
10/23/2020 c1 6in the eyes of the beholder
I liked it. you brought up some points about a relationship with Weiss that I never considered. if I could offer some advice it would be a name change. drop it back to "The Evill Within." and drop the warning in the description. it turned me off reading this for a few days because of that.

the concept is interesting. having bleiss as a part of her semblance, as opposed to a personality that suddenly develops, gives a great balance. a balance that can be maintained or upset if it is tied to her emotions or something. I also like what you wrote about love and war. opens up possibilities for conflict with pyrrha.

spend some time on your dialogue, clean it up a bit. or find a Beta willing to work with you and help you with it.

hope this helps. looking forward to your next chapter!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service