for Vengeance Granted7/24/2021 c10 
5AutumnKL
Nice finish! You managed to wrap this story up in a convincing fashion and thank you for writing this.
Vegeta and Frieza's fight is very well written and realistically played out for the most part. I especially appreciate how you took the Saiyan Prince's ghost form into consideration and followed the canonical rule that is the more energy one uses, the faster their spirit form disappeared in real life. This often overlooked element gave the fight a good twist. The only thing I would complain is the final flash finish felt somewhat rushed, as I was expecting Vegeta to pass his energy over to Goku and let him finish the fight but on second thought, Vegeta has more of a beef with Frieza so it made sense for him to finish the space tyrant. You end this fanfic with Vegeta thinking he had finally avenged his race, and that imo is a very strong end to his troubled past.
Another unexpect twist you installed is to let the two dragons communicate with each other, as that's something I've never read in any material. I do think that the many wishes to reverse so many things Frieza had done is over the total amount of wishes the two dragons can grant; however, and you also didn't explain how was it that wishes from a dragon would allow imprisoned Namekians to escape.
I love that you went into the thoughts of all of the fighters at the end, although it felt a bit fast to be honest and I was expecting the many characters to communicate more. I was expecting Gohan to go home and have a heart to heart with Videl while K18 felt like they had a lot of unresolved regret and anger in them, especially in 18's case seeing how the couple got wrecked the most out of everyone so in terms of emotional resolution, this leaned toward rushed for me. Granted, as you said, it's mainly Frieza's story but Gohan, Piccolo, Krillin, and Eighteen still occupied a good portion of the first 5 chapters or so. This is just me though, as from a fighting fanfic pov, this level of resolution is enough.
Overall a pretty solid series that has some of the most creative elements I've read in a fanfic. You also gave most characters very interesting techniques that I felt suited their personality well. Letting Gohan do the special beam canon to nullify Frieza's death slicer and reading Trunks execute the garlic gun are both highlights for me. The fight in each chapter is pretty compact, but if viewed from a series pov they felt a bit dragged on, especially Tagoma vs. Piccolo. I also felt that the first 3 chapters could've been condensed somewhat, as it's mainly background building without much action.
Well done, thank you for the story. You tackled an interesting subject and wrapped it up well. All characters are in character and their power level very consistent. This is definitely the work of someone who values logic and reasoning.
5AutumnKLNice finish! You managed to wrap this story up in a convincing fashion and thank you for writing this.
Vegeta and Frieza's fight is very well written and realistically played out for the most part. I especially appreciate how you took the Saiyan Prince's ghost form into consideration and followed the canonical rule that is the more energy one uses, the faster their spirit form disappeared in real life. This often overlooked element gave the fight a good twist. The only thing I would complain is the final flash finish felt somewhat rushed, as I was expecting Vegeta to pass his energy over to Goku and let him finish the fight but on second thought, Vegeta has more of a beef with Frieza so it made sense for him to finish the space tyrant. You end this fanfic with Vegeta thinking he had finally avenged his race, and that imo is a very strong end to his troubled past.
Another unexpect twist you installed is to let the two dragons communicate with each other, as that's something I've never read in any material. I do think that the many wishes to reverse so many things Frieza had done is over the total amount of wishes the two dragons can grant; however, and you also didn't explain how was it that wishes from a dragon would allow imprisoned Namekians to escape.
I love that you went into the thoughts of all of the fighters at the end, although it felt a bit fast to be honest and I was expecting the many characters to communicate more. I was expecting Gohan to go home and have a heart to heart with Videl while K18 felt like they had a lot of unresolved regret and anger in them, especially in 18's case seeing how the couple got wrecked the most out of everyone so in terms of emotional resolution, this leaned toward rushed for me. Granted, as you said, it's mainly Frieza's story but Gohan, Piccolo, Krillin, and Eighteen still occupied a good portion of the first 5 chapters or so. This is just me though, as from a fighting fanfic pov, this level of resolution is enough.
Overall a pretty solid series that has some of the most creative elements I've read in a fanfic. You also gave most characters very interesting techniques that I felt suited their personality well. Letting Gohan do the special beam canon to nullify Frieza's death slicer and reading Trunks execute the garlic gun are both highlights for me. The fight in each chapter is pretty compact, but if viewed from a series pov they felt a bit dragged on, especially Tagoma vs. Piccolo. I also felt that the first 3 chapters could've been condensed somewhat, as it's mainly background building without much action.
Well done, thank you for the story. You tackled an interesting subject and wrapped it up well. All characters are in character and their power level very consistent. This is definitely the work of someone who values logic and reasoning.
7/24/2021 c9 AutumnKL
Good work! As you said, this is a pretty intense chapter with some good back and forth. While I think some of the descriptions could've been combined together to make for a more compact chapter, this is a good read from start to finish.
The highlight of this chapter once again is how you cleverly used the effects of different wishes to make the story unpredictable. While I don't pay much attention to the effects of every single wish as I like to focus more on narrative progression, from what I can tell you are very accurate in reversing wish effects, with Vegeta getting knocked out and then coming back alive being perhaps the most clever of them all.
Also love how good the intro of this chapter is, as it let us know the full extent of Frieza's wish reversal. You also managed to let Jaco, a rarely read about character, a chance to shine and I like his involvement.
It's also neat that you turned Goku vs Frieza into a chess like scenario where Goku's main goal isn't merely to defeat Frieza, but also to prevent him from using the wish reveral technique.
I do wonder though, that if Frieza took away the wish that revived Vegeta, wouldn't Dende also cease to exist seeing that the same wish that brought Vegeta back to life from being killed by Frieza also brought Dende to life? Even if this is an unforeseem error though, this is still a very compact chapter. Good job!
Good work! As you said, this is a pretty intense chapter with some good back and forth. While I think some of the descriptions could've been combined together to make for a more compact chapter, this is a good read from start to finish.
The highlight of this chapter once again is how you cleverly used the effects of different wishes to make the story unpredictable. While I don't pay much attention to the effects of every single wish as I like to focus more on narrative progression, from what I can tell you are very accurate in reversing wish effects, with Vegeta getting knocked out and then coming back alive being perhaps the most clever of them all.
Also love how good the intro of this chapter is, as it let us know the full extent of Frieza's wish reversal. You also managed to let Jaco, a rarely read about character, a chance to shine and I like his involvement.
It's also neat that you turned Goku vs Frieza into a chess like scenario where Goku's main goal isn't merely to defeat Frieza, but also to prevent him from using the wish reveral technique.
I do wonder though, that if Frieza took away the wish that revived Vegeta, wouldn't Dende also cease to exist seeing that the same wish that brought Vegeta back to life from being killed by Frieza also brought Dende to life? Even if this is an unforeseem error though, this is still a very compact chapter. Good job!
7/24/2021 c8 AutumnKL
Wow! What a chapter and a very heavy read but good nonetheless.
You portrayed the power level of all fighters very convincingly, from Gohan able to stand up to Frieza final form but loses out to golden to Goten and Trunks loses to Shisami when not fused.
I find the fight against Shisami to be much more enjoyable than the one against Tagoma, as I felt Tagoma dragged on a bit long while Shisami's is the right length. It's also a joy to read 18 taking down someone with a sneak attack, showing not all fighters favor frontal assault.
Gohan and Gotenks vs. Frieza is a good read too, especially at the beginning when you let Gohan have the advantage and yet the tension is still there since we all know Frieza can still turn Golden. The part where Frieza toyed with Gohan with his death beam is a good touch too, as not only does it showed Frieza's cruel tendency, but also reminded me of Frieza 3rd form torturing Piccolo with fast finger beams. I do find it kind of weird that Gohan can all the sudden match Frieza in hand to hand combat when he's buying time for Gotenks fusion though.
The ending is full of believable twists. I thought Goku and Vegeta appearing would mark the end of the chapter and is about to relax when you had Frieza pull a 180 on them and kill everyone except for Goku. I thought at the very least Vegeta would put up a fight but nope, Dragon Ball wish denial for the win. It's such an unexpected yet believable turn of events that still left me bewiledred while I'm typing this.
Oh, I was wrong in my previous review about Frieza beating 18 in his first form. I thought because you never mentioned Frieza transforming and that the tyrant was gloating about 18 not able to take on his current "form", he must be referring to his 1st form. This made a lot more sense as I can see final form Frieza besting 18 after the intense training.
Very strong chapter. I like that you do not hesistate in killing off characters (even those you love) if the plot demands it. This makes for a very unpredictable story and keeps us on edge.
Wow! What a chapter and a very heavy read but good nonetheless.
You portrayed the power level of all fighters very convincingly, from Gohan able to stand up to Frieza final form but loses out to golden to Goten and Trunks loses to Shisami when not fused.
I find the fight against Shisami to be much more enjoyable than the one against Tagoma, as I felt Tagoma dragged on a bit long while Shisami's is the right length. It's also a joy to read 18 taking down someone with a sneak attack, showing not all fighters favor frontal assault.
Gohan and Gotenks vs. Frieza is a good read too, especially at the beginning when you let Gohan have the advantage and yet the tension is still there since we all know Frieza can still turn Golden. The part where Frieza toyed with Gohan with his death beam is a good touch too, as not only does it showed Frieza's cruel tendency, but also reminded me of Frieza 3rd form torturing Piccolo with fast finger beams. I do find it kind of weird that Gohan can all the sudden match Frieza in hand to hand combat when he's buying time for Gotenks fusion though.
The ending is full of believable twists. I thought Goku and Vegeta appearing would mark the end of the chapter and is about to relax when you had Frieza pull a 180 on them and kill everyone except for Goku. I thought at the very least Vegeta would put up a fight but nope, Dragon Ball wish denial for the win. It's such an unexpected yet believable turn of events that still left me bewiledred while I'm typing this.
Oh, I was wrong in my previous review about Frieza beating 18 in his first form. I thought because you never mentioned Frieza transforming and that the tyrant was gloating about 18 not able to take on his current "form", he must be referring to his 1st form. This made a lot more sense as I can see final form Frieza besting 18 after the intense training.
Very strong chapter. I like that you do not hesistate in killing off characters (even those you love) if the plot demands it. This makes for a very unpredictable story and keeps us on edge.
7/10/2021 c7 AutumnKL
This is a very strong chapter with good actions throughout the entire chapter. I do find it hard to read through parts of this chapter due to how descriptive things get and what happened to some of my favorite characters, which is entirely due to my personal taste I think and not the issue of the writing.
Despite of Krillin, Yamcha, and Tien getting killed in this chapter, I do find their deaths well written and if they have to die in a story, this is how I hope they would've died. You spared us the gruesome detail of them meeting their ends due to some attacks bur rather Frieza's new found Dragonball related power, which I find very creative and links back to the whole premise of this story. I would never have imagined Frieza's wish can be used in this way so well done.
The battle between Frieza and 18 is well written and very brutal at the same time. It reminded me of Frieza vs Vegeta back on planet Namek. It's interesting that 1st form Frieza could've done that much damage to 18 though, considering 18 probably did some training of her own. In a way 18 and the humans were used to hype up the full extent of Frieza's strength, both fighting power level wise and Dragonball controlling power wise. In short, the treatment of Krillin and 18 along with Yamcha and Tien were very well written but due to my personal taste, I find it hard to read through these particular sections.
Piccolo vs. Tagoma is short and sweet. The way you had Tagoma self destruct and take Piccolo with him is written with realism and increased the tension by quite a lot since us readers were thinking at the very least, Piccolo will pull off a victory here. The situation pretty much took a 180 turn from the starting sentence of the Namekian blasting Tagoma to him lying on the ground.
I do believe this is the full extent of Frieza's damage though, and things will probably start to look up once again when Goku and Vegeta showed up. This chapter served its purpose of upping the stakes for the good guys and will no doubt made the comebacks of the protagonists all the sweeter when it happened. I do find the K18 moments very bitter sweet, especially with the two lying motionless on the ground so close to each other. This is a good read despite of me finding parts of it hard to get through.
This is a very strong chapter with good actions throughout the entire chapter. I do find it hard to read through parts of this chapter due to how descriptive things get and what happened to some of my favorite characters, which is entirely due to my personal taste I think and not the issue of the writing.
Despite of Krillin, Yamcha, and Tien getting killed in this chapter, I do find their deaths well written and if they have to die in a story, this is how I hope they would've died. You spared us the gruesome detail of them meeting their ends due to some attacks bur rather Frieza's new found Dragonball related power, which I find very creative and links back to the whole premise of this story. I would never have imagined Frieza's wish can be used in this way so well done.
The battle between Frieza and 18 is well written and very brutal at the same time. It reminded me of Frieza vs Vegeta back on planet Namek. It's interesting that 1st form Frieza could've done that much damage to 18 though, considering 18 probably did some training of her own. In a way 18 and the humans were used to hype up the full extent of Frieza's strength, both fighting power level wise and Dragonball controlling power wise. In short, the treatment of Krillin and 18 along with Yamcha and Tien were very well written but due to my personal taste, I find it hard to read through these particular sections.
Piccolo vs. Tagoma is short and sweet. The way you had Tagoma self destruct and take Piccolo with him is written with realism and increased the tension by quite a lot since us readers were thinking at the very least, Piccolo will pull off a victory here. The situation pretty much took a 180 turn from the starting sentence of the Namekian blasting Tagoma to him lying on the ground.
I do believe this is the full extent of Frieza's damage though, and things will probably start to look up once again when Goku and Vegeta showed up. This chapter served its purpose of upping the stakes for the good guys and will no doubt made the comebacks of the protagonists all the sweeter when it happened. I do find the K18 moments very bitter sweet, especially with the two lying motionless on the ground so close to each other. This is a good read despite of me finding parts of it hard to get through.
6/24/2021 c6 AutumnKL
This chapter is in my opinion much better than chapter 5. I like the competition to see who knocks out more baddies between Krillin, Tien, and Yamcha and it's pretty funny for 18 to all the sudden just take out of more than all 3 of them. Way to add some humor to the story.
Piccolo and Gohan's fight against Tagoma was shorter than chapter 5 but in my opinion, better written simply because of newly demonstrated technique. I do find it a bit odd that even Piccolo was concerned about not killing Tagoma though, as Piccolo wasn't the kind to show mercy and can be quite like Vegeta in a fight unlike Gohan. I also do think Tagoma talked a bit too much and was expecting Piccolo to just trash him.
The Satan's mansion has a few good humor in it, especially with Buu eating his enemies. I do find it surprising that Videl can take down 2 of the Frieza soldiers as her power level shouldn't be more than 100 while Frieza's basic soldiers should all be around 1,000ish. This being said this part is still pretty enjoyable.
This chapter is in my opinion much better than chapter 5. I like the competition to see who knocks out more baddies between Krillin, Tien, and Yamcha and it's pretty funny for 18 to all the sudden just take out of more than all 3 of them. Way to add some humor to the story.
Piccolo and Gohan's fight against Tagoma was shorter than chapter 5 but in my opinion, better written simply because of newly demonstrated technique. I do find it a bit odd that even Piccolo was concerned about not killing Tagoma though, as Piccolo wasn't the kind to show mercy and can be quite like Vegeta in a fight unlike Gohan. I also do think Tagoma talked a bit too much and was expecting Piccolo to just trash him.
The Satan's mansion has a few good humor in it, especially with Buu eating his enemies. I do find it surprising that Videl can take down 2 of the Frieza soldiers as her power level shouldn't be more than 100 while Frieza's basic soldiers should all be around 1,000ish. This being said this part is still pretty enjoyable.
6/8/2021 c5 AutumnKL
I much enjoyed this chapter. It' got some good character interaction, the fight scene is good, and the ending made me fear for the good guys.
The opening scene is a good K18 moment and I love how this couple tries to support each other in the time of need. It's also funny that you directly pointed out how 18 should've been fighting alongside her husband instead of being a housewife in the movie. It's really some cozy and humorous stuff. Your description of 18 is very spot on as always, showing that she can be easily angered yet cared for her family deeply and will quickly change her behavior once she realized what's happening.
The fight scene between Piccolo and Tagoma is pretty good and shows some of the Namekian's signature moves. I have already forgotten what Tagoma's moves are but you gave him some interesting traits and techniques. I do find it's a bit interesting you would be pitting Piccolo and Gohan, the 2 strongest fighters against one measly Tagoma though, as I was expecting those two to face off against Frieza but what you did here heightens the tension. While I enjoyed the fight quite a lot, especially Piccolo's hellzone grenade vs. Tagoma's homing ki blasts, I do find it a bit strange that Piccolo can spam his special beam canon as I was under the impression that move requires a lot of concentration and can't be used with that much frequency.
The ending really made me anxious for Krillin and Eighteen. I kinda know Frieza will have to run into K18 with the setups from previous chapters but reading this to be actually the case, especially when they have to face Frieza without any strong allies really made me hoping for the best.
Nice first fight scene and I'll be looking forward to reading the next chapter once I got more time.
I much enjoyed this chapter. It' got some good character interaction, the fight scene is good, and the ending made me fear for the good guys.
The opening scene is a good K18 moment and I love how this couple tries to support each other in the time of need. It's also funny that you directly pointed out how 18 should've been fighting alongside her husband instead of being a housewife in the movie. It's really some cozy and humorous stuff. Your description of 18 is very spot on as always, showing that she can be easily angered yet cared for her family deeply and will quickly change her behavior once she realized what's happening.
The fight scene between Piccolo and Tagoma is pretty good and shows some of the Namekian's signature moves. I have already forgotten what Tagoma's moves are but you gave him some interesting traits and techniques. I do find it's a bit interesting you would be pitting Piccolo and Gohan, the 2 strongest fighters against one measly Tagoma though, as I was expecting those two to face off against Frieza but what you did here heightens the tension. While I enjoyed the fight quite a lot, especially Piccolo's hellzone grenade vs. Tagoma's homing ki blasts, I do find it a bit strange that Piccolo can spam his special beam canon as I was under the impression that move requires a lot of concentration and can't be used with that much frequency.
The ending really made me anxious for Krillin and Eighteen. I kinda know Frieza will have to run into K18 with the setups from previous chapters but reading this to be actually the case, especially when they have to face Frieza without any strong allies really made me hoping for the best.
Nice first fight scene and I'll be looking forward to reading the next chapter once I got more time.
6/2/2021 c4 AutumnKL
The highlight of this chapter is definitely seeing Frieza using more of his Dragon ball controlling powers. I was caught by surprise when Frieza started going through all of the wishes made in the past. It's also interesting how it caught the emperor's attention that Krillin used the bomb removal wish on the cyborgs and I wonder if Krillin and 18 will have some kind of special fight against Frieza. At this point I'm really feeling worried for Krillin. With how many wishes Frieza has, I'm surprised he didn't just wish for immortality but I'll be waiting to read more on how he's going to use the balls to his gain.
The improvement of Frieza's top 2 lieutnants at the start is a nice touch and I'm glad to see them getting some developments of their own. This sets them up as potential real threats rather than throwaway baddies to be beat before the final boss. I do think with the amount of buildup you gave them in the beginning and how this chapter is essentially another buildup chapter, it would've been good to have one of the lieutenants fight the z-fighters and showcase their power. That will heighten the tension for next chapter even more.
I don't really mind Buu and 17's absence, as having Buu will lessen the tension drastically. All in all a neat buildup chapter and I'll be sure the read the next chapter.
The highlight of this chapter is definitely seeing Frieza using more of his Dragon ball controlling powers. I was caught by surprise when Frieza started going through all of the wishes made in the past. It's also interesting how it caught the emperor's attention that Krillin used the bomb removal wish on the cyborgs and I wonder if Krillin and 18 will have some kind of special fight against Frieza. At this point I'm really feeling worried for Krillin. With how many wishes Frieza has, I'm surprised he didn't just wish for immortality but I'll be waiting to read more on how he's going to use the balls to his gain.
The improvement of Frieza's top 2 lieutnants at the start is a nice touch and I'm glad to see them getting some developments of their own. This sets them up as potential real threats rather than throwaway baddies to be beat before the final boss. I do think with the amount of buildup you gave them in the beginning and how this chapter is essentially another buildup chapter, it would've been good to have one of the lieutenants fight the z-fighters and showcase their power. That will heighten the tension for next chapter even more.
I don't really mind Buu and 17's absence, as having Buu will lessen the tension drastically. All in all a neat buildup chapter and I'll be sure the read the next chapter.
5/27/2021 c3 AutumnKL
Nice chapter. I agree this is on the short side and that not much happened, but this preparation is needed and I'm glad you gave everyone their own spotlight here.
Your description of Piccolo and Gohan are all well put and believable. I can see Piccolo somehow getting closer to Gohan's level now. I felt though, that you could've let either Dende or Piccolo sensed something was amiss on planet Nemek. This might change what you had in later chapters, but imo will add some suspense and tension in this chapter.
Frieza's part is my favourite this chapter, and I like the many references you made to old school DBZ, including the new elder and having Frieza recall how Dodoria had killed the now great elder. I love that you let Frieza demonstrate the power given to him by Earth dragon. It both further elaborates on the extent of Frieza's control over Dragon balls, but also heightened the stakes here. Your Frieza is much more threatening than movie Frieza.
Naturally I love 18 encouraging Krillin at the end. These two shared such strong bond and you clearly illustrated that part here. Their conversation is very believable and hit the right notes and I'm glad Krillin will be taking up training with Piccolo.
Nice chapter. I agree this is on the short side and that not much happened, but this preparation is needed and I'm glad you gave everyone their own spotlight here.
Your description of Piccolo and Gohan are all well put and believable. I can see Piccolo somehow getting closer to Gohan's level now. I felt though, that you could've let either Dende or Piccolo sensed something was amiss on planet Nemek. This might change what you had in later chapters, but imo will add some suspense and tension in this chapter.
Frieza's part is my favourite this chapter, and I like the many references you made to old school DBZ, including the new elder and having Frieza recall how Dodoria had killed the now great elder. I love that you let Frieza demonstrate the power given to him by Earth dragon. It both further elaborates on the extent of Frieza's control over Dragon balls, but also heightened the stakes here. Your Frieza is much more threatening than movie Frieza.
Naturally I love 18 encouraging Krillin at the end. These two shared such strong bond and you clearly illustrated that part here. Their conversation is very believable and hit the right notes and I'm glad Krillin will be taking up training with Piccolo.
5/22/2021 c2 AutumnKL
I very much liked this chapter. It introduced the old casts to us again and love their interactions.
To start off, I find Hercule's interaction with Buu, Trunks, Goten, and even 18 as very funny. Using that segment to start your chapter definitely brightens up the mood and gave the party the atmosphere it deserved. The chat between Gohan and Krillin was very heartfelt and it was always great to see these two connect again, which I felt was overlooked by even Toriyama himself considering how close they were. Krillin's reflection about him already retiring and enjoying his time with family was nicely put and I can't help but to feel for the guy. Yeah Hercule was constantly surrounded by guys tougher than he is but so is Krillin and the guy tried to be the best at some point. Anyhow love the little gathering. You also highlighted just how strong Piccolo and Gohan really were by having them sensed Frieza's ki, even if it was just for a brief second. Not only did this opening sequence introduced the cast, but also their power level and set up the stage for later fighting segments.
Frieza's interaction with his subordinates was well done too and I'm glad to see him much smarter than he was in the movie. I can't wait to see him taking on the Namekians and obtain the Dragon Balls for himself. It made perfect sense for him to deprive the Earth worriers of the two sets of Dragon balls that had been constantly aiding them in their fight so good job there.
Later on you nicely transitioned to Vegeta and Goku's training and had Bulma call Beerus's planet to inform them of what's going on. I like Whis's nonchalant attitude as if it was really no big deal as well as Goku and Vegeta's faith in their offspring.
Like what you said, this is a character establishment chapter but it's got good content.
I very much liked this chapter. It introduced the old casts to us again and love their interactions.
To start off, I find Hercule's interaction with Buu, Trunks, Goten, and even 18 as very funny. Using that segment to start your chapter definitely brightens up the mood and gave the party the atmosphere it deserved. The chat between Gohan and Krillin was very heartfelt and it was always great to see these two connect again, which I felt was overlooked by even Toriyama himself considering how close they were. Krillin's reflection about him already retiring and enjoying his time with family was nicely put and I can't help but to feel for the guy. Yeah Hercule was constantly surrounded by guys tougher than he is but so is Krillin and the guy tried to be the best at some point. Anyhow love the little gathering. You also highlighted just how strong Piccolo and Gohan really were by having them sensed Frieza's ki, even if it was just for a brief second. Not only did this opening sequence introduced the cast, but also their power level and set up the stage for later fighting segments.
Frieza's interaction with his subordinates was well done too and I'm glad to see him much smarter than he was in the movie. I can't wait to see him taking on the Namekians and obtain the Dragon Balls for himself. It made perfect sense for him to deprive the Earth worriers of the two sets of Dragon balls that had been constantly aiding them in their fight so good job there.
Later on you nicely transitioned to Vegeta and Goku's training and had Bulma call Beerus's planet to inform them of what's going on. I like Whis's nonchalant attitude as if it was really no big deal as well as Goku and Vegeta's faith in their offspring.
Like what you said, this is a character establishment chapter but it's got good content.
5/22/2021 c1 AutumnKL
A pretty good chapter with good reimagining of the movie that added flavors to this story.
The intro painted us a picture of how desperate the Frieza force really was by going into how they were gradually losing territories and that was better than in the movie where a few dialogues was all we were given of their situation. The bickering between Shisami and Tagoma also set up some potential conflicts within the force as well as gave them personalities of their own.
I also like that you described how Sorbet met Pilaf and gang instead of just have these guys knew each other from the start, although you didn't let us know how Sorbet knew the Pilafs knew about the dragon balls or how he tracked them down.
The revival of Frieza was way better than it was in the movie and your A/N at the end of the chapter explained it very well. I was also very surprised about Frieza's 2nd wish, to just forgo the whole immortality thing in favor of controlling the dragon balls so the good guys can't lay a hand on them. That was probably the highlight of this chapter and demonstrates your creativity, not to mention introducing elements that can seriously impact future chapters. Also in a sense, Frieza is becoming more tactical and I'd like to see him using his smarts more.
Looking forward to future chapters and me being me, I'll be paying more attention to specific elements of this story.
A pretty good chapter with good reimagining of the movie that added flavors to this story.
The intro painted us a picture of how desperate the Frieza force really was by going into how they were gradually losing territories and that was better than in the movie where a few dialogues was all we were given of their situation. The bickering between Shisami and Tagoma also set up some potential conflicts within the force as well as gave them personalities of their own.
I also like that you described how Sorbet met Pilaf and gang instead of just have these guys knew each other from the start, although you didn't let us know how Sorbet knew the Pilafs knew about the dragon balls or how he tracked them down.
The revival of Frieza was way better than it was in the movie and your A/N at the end of the chapter explained it very well. I was also very surprised about Frieza's 2nd wish, to just forgo the whole immortality thing in favor of controlling the dragon balls so the good guys can't lay a hand on them. That was probably the highlight of this chapter and demonstrates your creativity, not to mention introducing elements that can seriously impact future chapters. Also in a sense, Frieza is becoming more tactical and I'd like to see him using his smarts more.
Looking forward to future chapters and me being me, I'll be paying more attention to specific elements of this story.
1/29/2021 c10 7TheItchyCocoon
A very good, and very unexpected Ending! I half expected Beerus to get involved, but I loved the little maneuver at the end of the fight! over all though, a really great story my friend!
7TheItchyCocoonA very good, and very unexpected Ending! I half expected Beerus to get involved, but I loved the little maneuver at the end of the fight! over all though, a really great story my friend!
1/29/2021 c10 56Shadowwriter01
Good ending.
Interesting way to have Shenlong and Porunga combine their powers.
56Shadowwriter01Good ending.
Interesting way to have Shenlong and Porunga combine their powers.
1/11/2021 c9 7TheItchyCocoon
Damn this is one intense chapter! I'll be honest, part of me feels like I know how this is gonna end, but with freizas planning and power it's hard to really say! guess I'll just have to wait for the final chapter!
7TheItchyCocoonDamn this is one intense chapter! I'll be honest, part of me feels like I know how this is gonna end, but with freizas planning and power it's hard to really say! guess I'll just have to wait for the final chapter!