for The Madness of Ravens11/1/2020 c1 Cyan-Snake
Nope. Reincarnators going to plot locations expecting to NOT run into the MC?
Nope. Reincarnators going to plot locations expecting to NOT run into the MC?
10/29/2020 c2 Capeus
Haha love the ending of this chapter, so mote it be!
This story is nice, although the part of this chapter that I disliked was the casual mentioning of all the magic Lyra and James are good at or whatever, I would much prefer to just see it in action. Also I think you've dumbed down Harry a little bit here, please make sure you don't make Lyra and James too amazing compared to everyone else, both in magic and attitude.
I get that they are older than they appear, and have studied magic far longer than children their age, however, I think we should still see some conflict from how they act. The part where Flitwick had some magical snowfight vs James and then excused him from homework for the entire year I find a little too much, bordering on crack. I also found the way Dumbledore dismissed Harry and Ron a little uncharacteristic of him.
I think the inner monologue of Dumbledore wasn't really that good, and his point of view in general should be avoided to be honest. Leave him more mysterious and grand is what I would suggest, I also think his dialogue with the 5 third years could use some polishing, him straight up saying how Voldemort would kill them in three seconds felt a little off. I think he would word things differently, even if he's being serious on the matter.
When I read the first chapter, I actually thought Lyra and James were at least fifth years, so finding out in this chapter they are only third years is quite a shock.
Anyway, that's enough negative comments from me. Overall I genuinely like this story, especially the sassy nature of your two main characters. I am especially happy to read about Lyra's ambitious plans for the future and her attempts to radicalize Hermione.
Haha love the ending of this chapter, so mote it be!
This story is nice, although the part of this chapter that I disliked was the casual mentioning of all the magic Lyra and James are good at or whatever, I would much prefer to just see it in action. Also I think you've dumbed down Harry a little bit here, please make sure you don't make Lyra and James too amazing compared to everyone else, both in magic and attitude.
I get that they are older than they appear, and have studied magic far longer than children their age, however, I think we should still see some conflict from how they act. The part where Flitwick had some magical snowfight vs James and then excused him from homework for the entire year I find a little too much, bordering on crack. I also found the way Dumbledore dismissed Harry and Ron a little uncharacteristic of him.
I think the inner monologue of Dumbledore wasn't really that good, and his point of view in general should be avoided to be honest. Leave him more mysterious and grand is what I would suggest, I also think his dialogue with the 5 third years could use some polishing, him straight up saying how Voldemort would kill them in three seconds felt a little off. I think he would word things differently, even if he's being serious on the matter.
When I read the first chapter, I actually thought Lyra and James were at least fifth years, so finding out in this chapter they are only third years is quite a shock.
Anyway, that's enough negative comments from me. Overall I genuinely like this story, especially the sassy nature of your two main characters. I am especially happy to read about Lyra's ambitious plans for the future and her attempts to radicalize Hermione.
10/27/2020 c2 Guess
i really like this story, can't wait for the next chapter
Sorry my english is bad :"
i really like this story, can't wait for the next chapter
Sorry my english is bad :"
10/27/2020 c2 Braidtugger
Giggled through half the chapter. This is fun! Though I think some more contextual information needs adding to the fic. Feels like a bunch of loosely connected scenes more than anything.
Giggled through half the chapter. This is fun! Though I think some more contextual information needs adding to the fic. Feels like a bunch of loosely connected scenes more than anything.
10/27/2020 c2 
3fireball900
I see Lyra hates the idea of 'so mote it be' like I do!
The Dumbledore 'duel' was very well done too.
And his comforting of Harry (especially his line about the 'graffiti') was hilarious!
3fireball900I see Lyra hates the idea of 'so mote it be' like I do!
The Dumbledore 'duel' was very well done too.
And his comforting of Harry (especially his line about the 'graffiti') was hilarious!
10/23/2020 c1 Capeus
Oooooh I like this, the possibilities are endless. I like both portrayals of Lyra and James, and the casual references about classic Harry Potter events and them influencing things, all that completely flying over Harry's head. He's totally clueless just like in canon, but smart and intuitive, very promising.
I wonder if you continue this story how much it will take place at Hogwarts and how much out in the wizarding world. Also the talk about muggle issues seems to imply Lyra wants to be a benevolent tyrant witch of the world, kind of like Grindelwald. That premise alone is incredibly interesting and if you don't continue this story I hope you don't abandon that particular idea, it's so cool.
Anyway, like all things you post this is super cool and I love it and I want more.
Oooooh I like this, the possibilities are endless. I like both portrayals of Lyra and James, and the casual references about classic Harry Potter events and them influencing things, all that completely flying over Harry's head. He's totally clueless just like in canon, but smart and intuitive, very promising.
I wonder if you continue this story how much it will take place at Hogwarts and how much out in the wizarding world. Also the talk about muggle issues seems to imply Lyra wants to be a benevolent tyrant witch of the world, kind of like Grindelwald. That premise alone is incredibly interesting and if you don't continue this story I hope you don't abandon that particular idea, it's so cool.
Anyway, like all things you post this is super cool and I love it and I want more.
10/21/2020 c1 Guess
Wow, Great start!
Wow, Great start!
10/20/2020 c1 Sapphire Diadem
Allow me to be this story's first reviewer by saying how I very much liked this and how I hope this will continue. It's very fresh, original, and the good dialogue helps making the two SIs feel very real and although there is a warning about wish fulfilment the two SIs don't feel like mary sues.
Allow me to be this story's first reviewer by saying how I very much liked this and how I hope this will continue. It's very fresh, original, and the good dialogue helps making the two SIs feel very real and although there is a warning about wish fulfilment the two SIs don't feel like mary sues.