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for KDA : The Manager

9/27 c5 vparadox12122000
For the suggestions on Harry Potter x Overlord plot, well it could be either passive and more like Ainz interference dose not majorly affect cannon, or we could have off plot to happen which may be even harder.
Ainz could simply try to be a student just to learn the difference in magic either as a older year or use some item to look younger, or play the role of a pure blood, I'm not sure if this is a new story or your older one with Galadriel.
I suggest a bit of both on parts of being a Noble pureblood of a true ancient house in order to interact with the older cast, And being a student for the younger class.
In Hogwarts there are manny rooms and hidden things that may interest or intrigued the overlord.
9/27 c5 vparadox12122000
hmmm, Great work on the chapter, for the most part we can see a slightly different structure on it that looks like improvement. As for some parts like when he asked Syndra where she wants him to ejaculate on Evelyn he only asked 2 places (the front or face) that is normal or average when asking that question, if you want to spice it up some may suggest the back door(ass hole), or any external parts of the flesh.

There was also a typo I think somewhere at the end when he kissed ahri, it says the producer kissed him deeply, I think that part was ment for Ahri to kiss him.

All in all nice chapter.
9/27 c5 Uday Sra
Awesome. Please update soon
9/27 c5 3RonaldM40196867
Baby showers…how precious.
9/17 c4 6Lucius Walker
Oh man, I just love how you're including other League girls into this lovely fic!

Speaking of, will you add Seraphine soon? Please do so! .
9/17 c3 Lucius Walker
You're really pleasing my impregnation and domination fetish, you know that?

Very nicely done! 3
9/17 c2 Lucius Walker
You do a very nice job on describing each of the character's emotions, and how each of the girls has different emotions about their situation.

Very erotic.
9/17 c1 Lucius Walker
Oh damn, this is hot! .
5/7 c4 Uday Sra
2/25 c4 vparadox12122000
... Lux...lol danm I did not see that coming... Just thinking but why did you write the story? not that I'm complaining. But anyway nice work on the presentation or build up with your fanfic stories and i know I'm disgusting in a way but you just write things well enough that it feels like I'm going through a rabbit hole again and trapped lol. XD
2/25 c3 vparadox12122000
I don't even know why I'm reading this...and the author note at the top made me think of two people thinking or saying,
"Jesus Christ woman(or man)?!and some other dude beside him saying
You need jesus in your life woman(or man)!?"
but who am i to judge when I just keep on reading lol XD
2/20 c4 4King Lebron James
Hmm. I noticed that there seems to be a continuity error he. Is he the producer or the manager as I believe you say both within this chapter.

I don't know about Lux joining in on it to be honest but it's your choice.

Still, not really a fan of how all the woman are just sex slaves basically but that's just my opinion
2/6 c1 Sagittipotenta
I've always thought your overlords fics were good stories but your romance/smut element was too perverted, hopefully you get it out of your system here lol
2/2 c4 3Kinetics Solutions

Lemon parts are pretty good if you ask me, the main turn off for me is just the fact that your OC treats the members like things lmao which I personally dislike.
2/2 c1 Kinetics Solutions
Hmmm. I don't really know about this one to be honest. I mean there are elements of it that are well done but for me the biggest "Nah this doesn't vibe with me" is how the "manager" just uses the members for sex and stuff.

In my opinion, it would be a lot better if you added a purpose behind why such events are even going on in the first place, to make the sex part a bit more justifiable if you get what I mean. Maybe the manager has been good friends with them for a long time and treats them with royalty etc and they feel as if they owe him everything for their success?

You did at least make the (OC) a fit and good looking guy which is a bonus for me I don't even know why. However, what also doesn't make sense to me is how the KDA members would be so submissive. I mean yea, he's fit and is attractive but I doubt that that is ALL it takes for women to go crazy about a man, let alone let him impregnate her and treat her the way he does.

If you ask me. What would be a "cooler" version of the story. Is if in a way, each of the 4 members feels as though they owe the manager big time for his drafting of them into a group that have been killing the pop music industry. For example, Akali feels forever in debt for the manager giving her a better life as she felt lost after graduating high school for example. Her life changed tremendously after such an opportunity and she was maybe able to take care of her actual family and stuff.

For Ahri, maybe she really had to be a call girl or a stripper or smth and it wasn't until the manager realized her singing talents and stuff that he decided to give her a shot and she was finally able to change her life and no longer have to be some sort of "play thing" in front of other male audiences and was able to do what she always wanted. Singing and dancing etc

IDK ahaha, not meaning to sound like a dick or anything but that's what I would do ahahah
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