for Optimistic Game: Revised11/17 c53 Invictus602
So read the entire story and got to say im loving the story. Writing quality has noticeably gotten better as chapters have gone by as had the dialogue between characters. The only real issue i have is the lack of character depth the other people in the story has. You’ll write them in and talk about them for a while and the suddenly they’re nonexistent like for instance kiryu. Aside from a few snippets he doesnt really exist and as such it brings to mind why even write him in if youre not gonna use him. Other then that i love to read more of your story and hope you complete it. Keep up the great work
So read the entire story and got to say im loving the story. Writing quality has noticeably gotten better as chapters have gone by as had the dialogue between characters. The only real issue i have is the lack of character depth the other people in the story has. You’ll write them in and talk about them for a while and the suddenly they’re nonexistent like for instance kiryu. Aside from a few snippets he doesnt really exist and as such it brings to mind why even write him in if youre not gonna use him. Other then that i love to read more of your story and hope you complete it. Keep up the great work
11/16 c17 Invictus602
Why doesnt he get quests to mitigate or atleast nerf flaws. Seems like a good way have more quests and give reasonable buffs. Simply nerfing with no way to recover seems like a bad game mechanic and poor storytelling
Why doesnt he get quests to mitigate or atleast nerf flaws. Seems like a good way have more quests and give reasonable buffs. Simply nerfing with no way to recover seems like a bad game mechanic and poor storytelling
11/16 c5 hearthyguy
Fairly well-written Gamer fic. The MC seems too arrogant even though everything is given to him on a silver platter. Also planning a harem even though you couldn't even beat Adam yet, is putting the cart before the horse. Finally, harem seeking protagonist makes the romance and interactions artificial, so it is better just to let it happen naturally.
Fairly well-written Gamer fic. The MC seems too arrogant even though everything is given to him on a silver platter. Also planning a harem even though you couldn't even beat Adam yet, is putting the cart before the horse. Finally, harem seeking protagonist makes the romance and interactions artificial, so it is better just to let it happen naturally.
11/8 c53 Alex TF
I really like the fact that even though he's overpowered, he's dealing with plenty of stuff on the side. Not some simple OP charachter that just insta-wins and that's it. Hopefully you get your spark back and write more again. Cheers.
I really like the fact that even though he's overpowered, he's dealing with plenty of stuff on the side. Not some simple OP charachter that just insta-wins and that's it. Hopefully you get your spark back and write more again. Cheers.
11/8 c53 
1Draco0905
read alot of this way back. got to about ch 36ish i think. lost it somehow and finally found it again.
1Draco0905read alot of this way back. got to about ch 36ish i think. lost it somehow and finally found it again.
11/4 c53 kaydenburnt
Hello please update if you can I love this fanfiction so much this is actually my first RWBY fanfiction so yeah I love your writing style I love the romance of it the fights all of it the politics I know you've been gone for the 7 months but if you can please update!
Have a nice day!
Hello please update if you can I love this fanfiction so much this is actually my first RWBY fanfiction so yeah I love your writing style I love the romance of it the fights all of it the politics I know you've been gone for the 7 months but if you can please update!
Have a nice day!
11/4 c41 4Wackuhdoodle
A bit cliche for the bunny girl, but seeing as I have one too, I have no room to judge
4WackuhdoodleA bit cliche for the bunny girl, but seeing as I have one too, I have no room to judge
11/4 c5 I wasted my life
Pretty boring tbh. The MC is basically given everything on a silver platter.
Pretty boring tbh. The MC is basically given everything on a silver platter.
10/12 c53 Shiyaku
Beautiful story.
The events, the interactions between the characters, their development/adulting, it was all written with heart and strong desire.
Of course, I can't help but talk about the love between Ruby and Reid. For me, the development of their feelings, the banal everyday interactions, were one of the best parts of this fanfic. Truly, I believed in their love. And of course, I was very saddened when the story turned into a harem.
I'm not going to say that the harem is spelled out poorly here. No, it isn't. The characters feel alive, not just puppets/pokémons. It's just that, personally, I was still fine with the idea of monogamy.
To summarize, I would like to say that you have a very good story. I really noticed how much effort and time you put into writing a work like this. I will hope you will revisit it again and complete it in due time. Thank you.
Beautiful story.
The events, the interactions between the characters, their development/adulting, it was all written with heart and strong desire.
Of course, I can't help but talk about the love between Ruby and Reid. For me, the development of their feelings, the banal everyday interactions, were one of the best parts of this fanfic. Truly, I believed in their love. And of course, I was very saddened when the story turned into a harem.
I'm not going to say that the harem is spelled out poorly here. No, it isn't. The characters feel alive, not just puppets/pokémons. It's just that, personally, I was still fine with the idea of monogamy.
To summarize, I would like to say that you have a very good story. I really noticed how much effort and time you put into writing a work like this. I will hope you will revisit it again and complete it in due time. Thank you.