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9/21 c18 Guest
So... A STORY with this sort of premise COULD be pretty INTERESTING. THIS story COULD'VE been pretty GOOD had it ACTUALLY been written well.

This was booty buns. Dog water. Why? A number of reasons that I'm sure other people have brought up. Won't bother parroting their words.

So... A STORY with this sort of premise COULD be pretty INTERESTING. THIS story COULD'VE been pretty GOOD had it ACTUALLY been written well.

But I will parrot mine. Picked up this habit after reading. I don't know if I can stop it now.

So... A STORY with this sort of premise COULD be pretty INTERESTING. THIS story COULD'VE been pretty GOOD had it ACTUALLY been written well.
6/8 c13 thor94
MHA police using stupid allmight logic.
lawyer: That guy was completely brainwashed by a villain with manipulation quirk to seriously harm the victim.
police: sorry but that not a valid excuse, if your brainwashed client had picked a water gun or a toy rubber knife instead of a real weapon, the victim wouldn't have ended in hospital with critical wounds.
6/8 c17 Squaretree
Glad to see this story get updated. Hopefully they go “all the way” next chapter.
6/8 c17 CrazyMax1
I don't know were Melissa came from in this chapter, just to give Izuku a quick oral service then vanish and never come back. Anyway I think there's a mistake in this chapter, making it feel like a autocorrect error or worse a copy paste mistake that forgot to rename and switch the character with Momo.
11/19/2022 c16 Guest
Update please
9/7/2022 c1 Steavatron
As has been mentioned by another reviewer, you have an excellent premise on your hands. The idea behind this story is very unique, and interesting, but as much as I'd like to see where it goes, I personally cannot continue reading this story.

My main criticisms are:

1, Everything in the summary should be covered in the first chapter. Every chapter that drags on to simply complete what we already know from the summary usually feels like a chore and a waste of time. (I know there are exceptions, authors who've managed that brilliantly, but in general I've mostly seen it done badly.)
2, The capitalized words littering the story. All caps is the internet equivalent of shouting, so having those specific words shouted as I read completely throws me out of the moment. As another reviewer mentioned, I find myself laughing at the absurdity of it, regardless of the tone of the current scene.
3, Dialogue. The word choice in terms of the characters speaking, as well as in some of your paragraphs seems entirely unrealistic. "We want to see your private parts!" "Fondle each other!" It just feels inorganic and out of place. Real people don't speak like that. They would use different words, especially if they're the kinds of people who would get involved with an illegal porn syndicate.
4, Laziness. The yells from those extras were copied and pasted just one paragraph down, I'm assuming to pad the word count a little. It doesn't really inspire much confidence for what the rest of the story contains.
5, There is a lot of information in this chapter that feels unneccessary to the story as a whole. I think that it doesn't really add much to the events unfolding and the scene that's being setup.
9/5/2022 c15 Squaretree
Kinda hope Izuku and Momo have sexual intercourse again next chapter, but this time Momo gets pregnant.
9/4/2022 c6 Squaretree
Aww man, was kinda hoping Momo would get pregnant.
8/31/2022 c14 ER-47
Great story
7/15/2022 c13 6saiyan prince1
Thanks for another update. Keep it up
7/15/2022 c13 1PegasusIzuku24
does she learn the truth about Izuku before he got one for all
6/9/2022 c12 6saiyan prince1
I love the progress. Wonder who got to hear what happened
5/30/2022 c11 Guest
C’est quand le prochain chapitre?
12/13/2021 c10 saiyan prince1
Let’s see what happens next.
10/27/2021 c9 saiyan prince1
Keep up the super work. Let’s see where u take this next chapter.
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