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for Autumn Leaves

6/4 c1 2SpSt
this was great short fic.
5/31 c1 Guest
Sweet story. Though I would like to see the actual romance, it feels like too much of a tease otherwise.
5/21 c1 BigRig2.0
Wow this Harry is even more pathetic than canon Harry
5/8 c1 odonnellzoo99
One of the rare stories that has Apolline as a bad wife and mother. It does seem to impact Fleur’s view that a few years in age difference as teens isn’t relevant if two people have the possibility of a good relationship in the long term. Children that grow up in an unhappy home seem to either unconsciously replicate the same or intentionally attempt to change the situation for their family.
Excellent story.
4/22 c1 Sonia25
Evan canon Harry was more sassy. But here you almost potray a dumb Harry who can't even stand up for himself. Day by day you are portraying as dumber weaker with each of your FanFiction. I don't know how you like to potray Harry like that but I definitely don't like to read such stories. The least people expect whole reading a fan fiction is to get a bit more competent Harry than canon not to read a Harry Potter who is weaker and dumber than canon. It was simply ridiculous.
3/12 c1 472dreamflower02
And another wow. I really love this particular universe, and I am definitely craving more of it.

Excellent characterization all around. And Herpo the Foul was certainly a perfect choice for the Big Bad.

Great story. Thank you for sharing this.
3/9 c1 10WardenInTheNorth
So, here is my review of ‘Autumn Leaves’ by Steelbadger. This is an attempt to be more critical and, as such, there will be points that may perhaps veer into nitpicking.

Anyway, here goes.

So, I’d like to begin with your use of symbolism as that is how you began the story yourself. I love the idea behind it, and the very naturalistic method by which you demonstrate Fleur’s immediate distaste toward England as a country; that she’s going from a world of colour into a world of bleakness. It’s a nice introduction to her perspective. That Fleur adores the season of change, whilst internally wishes for a change, is a nicely thoughtful way to begin.

However, I feel like this offers a slightly mixed metaphor. You then go on to say that Fleur wishes to leave France and see the world and ‘to do things’. Yet, the symbolism suggests that she actually holds an affection for the world she states that she wishes to leave behind. This would seem to demonstrate an internal conflict regarding her willingness to pursing this future, but that never seems to come.
In your next passage of naturalistic imagery, that being when Fleur enters her name, I like the idea behind that too; that Fleur finds beauty in the world as she follows her purpose, this working in contrast to the dullness of the world when she was with the other Beauxbatons students. That the world gains as colour as she follows the path that she truly intends for herself.
However, this seems to come with the association of her warming to England, and all that it symbolises too, which seems mistimed when compared to her actions in this period of the piece. This change in her view of the natural world around seems to connotate a change in attitude that feels unearned. And, given her next actions are to bemoan this very world after Harry’s name is called, it brings a feeling of unclarity to the piece.
I recognise that perhaps this was aimed to be humorous, as a kind of jump-cut. Going from ‘she would meet it with her head held high.’ to ‘The ineptitude of the English was truly a breathtaking thing’. I simply feel that the symbolism is misplaced there, given Fleur does not bring with it a change to her character.
As the piece continues, your use of naturalistic imagery becomes mostly a use of pathetic fallacy to demonstrate Fleur’s mood, such as stormy winds to denote her stormy disposition, and I feel that this works wonderfully. Especially the ending, when winter comes, and the season of change leaves. Fleur being happy to see ‘change’ leave her, for the first time, as it’s likely the first time she’s been in a position to not actively search out change. I really love that idea. Even as the cold winter comes, she’s content to go through it as she has someone beside her to support her, again for the first time. It’s a wonderfully romantic idea.
I think my chief issue with this piece is the lengths in which you go to communicate the world Fleur comes from, especially given that it doesn’t really have an emotively consistent or satisfying pay-off. Much of what you write about in this work are the characters of Beauxbatons that are framed, possibly unfairly by Fleur, to be shallow individuals, yet they seem to be utterly static. I understand that the point is likely to demonstrate Fleur’s character, that she is above the people she comes from and that she is different than the world around her, but it feels like we spend much too long with these characters for them not to go through any change. They exist simply to be disliked, which seems to run countermand to the point of the narrative.
I must confess too, that I don’t particularly hold any great affection for your portrayal of Fleur, either. Much of her narrative voice is spent talking about how much better she is than her peers, and yet we never see her acting in such a way that proves her worthy of holding this opinion. A superior attitude is fine for a character to have, yet when we spend our entire time hearing her speak in such a way, and yet act exactly as her peers would given the circumstances, her character becomes supremely unlikeable. As a result, hearing her constantly espouse her excellence begins to grate after a while, much before we get the payoff, that being her receiving a mild rebuke by Harry at the end.
It seems like her flaws have no consequence. She’s a vain hypocrite, yet Harry is still taken by her. It rises her above the rest of the narrative that feels forced. I think, beyond the mildly nice things she does for Harry, such as ‘saving him’ from Rita Skeeter, I found myself questioning what on Earth he would see in her. I understand the trope of a character’s flaws being revealed and the partner loving them in spite of it, but I really don’t see what Harry claims to be enamoured by.
In the end, when it comes to head that Harry had been lied to. Harry says that she’s not one of ‘those girls’, yet there is nothing to suggest, other than Fleur being the main character, that she is unlike the girls Harry claims to hold no interest over. So, she verbally dunked on Malfoy, a child compared to her. Is that really enough for Harry to swoon?
Again, I feel like there were liberties taken with Harry’s character in this piece. His introduction, where he plays the fool for Fleur to talk down to as he comes to meet her for the first time after Ron tells him to. It seems like an incredibly odd thing for him to do, and not one I could ever actually see Harry doing. Would Harry really go over to someone who’s at the centre of attention and tell her to stop simply existing? It seems to demonstrate a lack of emotional intelligence and familiarity with her circumstances that feels at odds with his own experience.
I really didn’t care for Harry being robbed of his agency vis à vis his acceptance of her invitation to the ball, either. There is a power imbalance there, with Fleur being older and more magically powerful, yet it’s swept away as if it’s nothing that he never says yes himself. Then, he immediately accepts his fate and enjoys himself. I understand that Fleur is very attractive, and the narrative keeps communicating that she is the ideal partner, but Harry himself has no reason to hold this belief. There is never any great demonstration of any virtue she holds. Furthermore, when coupled with Harry’s innocence at the tail end, where he asks only that they ‘be friends’ speaks of a loneliness that I only feel sorry for, and really want to keep away from Fleur.
‘I know I’m just a little boy, but maybe we could be friends?’
This feels incredibly uncomfortable to read, honestly. That he has internalised her words and has begun to believe them kinda speaks to the damage that Fleur has done, and entirely on purpose, either. She never apologises for it, either, but kisses him, as if she is a gift greater than all the damage she’s caused. That it is framed to be enough rankles, too.
Furthermore, this is entirely my personal opinion, but I’m not fond of your choices toward Ron. Making him speak for Harry, and rehashing his argument with Hermione at the ball, too. It felt like an artificial method for him to receive comeuppance, though we don’t really hold a reason for him to need comeuppance. If the narrative supports Harry and Fleur getting together, and Ron was one of the main catalysts for that occurring, why would he be punished?
The entire rehashing of his and Hermione’s argument felt very unnecessary to me. These are characters that within your narrative we don’t know, yet they rush in to have an argument at the end which villifies Ron, and for what reason? To demonstrate how far above Harry is from other people his age, to just blindly retreat canon?
I feel like, if this was to be included, some build up to the event would be necessary to make it feel justified, or to have a resolution to make it have a purpose. In the text, all it seems to do is give an excuse for Hermione to hit a disliked character which, again, seems to run counter to the purpose of the work. It feels very out of place.
Given that this is essentially a retelling of the first half of GOF from Fleur’s perspective, some rehashing was to be expected, and that is totally understandable. It is not what I prefer to read in a story, though that’s a matter of personal preference.
I think I’m going to stop there, and stop with a final message that I truly enjoyed the journey that Fleur took as a character. It is not often that a main character is allowed to be as flawed as she is, but to allow her to act in such a way is incredibly brave and commendable decision to make as a writer. Your writing was utterly free of any grammatical errors save for one accidental capitalisation of a ‘He’ when tagging dialogue. I did truly enjoy reading this, though I feel like there were a few missteps taken that detracted from the narrative as a whole.
As ever, you’re one of my favourites writers and I truly can’t wait to see your next piece of writing. Thank you!
2/23 c1 2OneAutumnL3af
I must say that while Ron does piss me of a little bit, the story itself was quite pleasant to read.
Furthermore, considering it's name makes it feel like a personal dedication, I couldn't say anything really bad about it :D
2/21 c1 2laxmad
What! That's it? Pllleeeaassseee remove the completed tag!
2/11 c1 brachiosaurus
Oh fuck, this was very good. I had more than half-mind to put it in the Download3d section of my FF App
2/8 c1 2Mister Cuddlesworth
I must say that I very much enjoyed this, and I fear I lack the words as to describe exactly how. It seems to just... fit, in such a way as to evoke beauty in words such that i aspire to.
2/8 c1 Guest
good sor
1/30 c1 didyousaytim
lol, it was always do odd that boulibase was JKR's way if introducing Fleur and Harry. What the house elves were asleep when they normally cook enough for 800...

Great story and nice ending.
1/28 c1 42miguel.puentedejesus
Maravilloso!
De Verdad muy Hermoso
1/12 c1 3HDTaggart
I enjoyed your take on Fleur quite a bit. I liked how you flipped the usual 'Magical France is so much more advanced than Magical Britain' around a bit. It's a nice one-shot.
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