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6/19 c17 AMurder0fCrows
hmm this gives off more of a Chinese cultivators novel vibe than naruto itself
6/19 c10 AMurder0fCrows
I don't like that mc's is in control of the village
6/19 c10 AMurder0fCrows
I dislike when interrogation for shining to brightly
6/18 c25 Helily
I hope all is well in real life and you’re having fun writing. And wow, I really feel bad for Sound ninja now. I mean, I usually have some fondness for them but only because Orochimaru is my favorite character so some love trickles down a bit. But this chapter. Poor Oto nin, seriously. But that might explain their bad outfits…hm.

Best of luck with anything you’re up to ️
6/15 c23 Jaleel Hull
I think that sometimes you shouldnt explain certain things, like after shinji recognizes that Kakashi didnt test Team 7s teamwork,it would feel better to show and not really tell so it doesnt feel like an info dump
6/15 c22 Jaleel Hull
your story is great but at time sit feels like i'm reading a college thesis ... the wording just makes it feel too clinical for it to really feel natural, still a good story though
6/9 c25 Guest
Please keep updating man this story is soooooo good
6/8 c12 Guest
Don’t listen to them these fight scenes are dope asf
5/28 c6 Guest
I love your author's notes. They help add so much context and insight
5/26 c22 Guest
Shinkyoken feels redundant, tbh. He's already a swordsman. The tip of his sword can achieve the same effect as sharp finger jabs that can pierce skin.

Good story, otherwise. Definitely the best gamer OC story in the entirety of this fandom. I hope you continue this at some point. You had some amazing ideas brewing.
5/23 c4 Guest
I can't tell if you're wanking the MC's intelligence or trying to convey through his inner voice that he believes himself to be far more intelligent than he is. In the case of the former, try sticking with showing rather than telling. In the case of the latter, that's a really smart way to display his personality and I give you major props. Guess I'll never know for sure, though.
5/17 c1 RedReaper121
Please upload more
5/15 c25 Lamont
I reread the story and I hope you come back to it.
5/13 c25 Guest
please post more soon, this story is amazing.
5/10 c1 MoinLeute
"Save wish" is just another word for: forget about the third one and dont make the MC fsst powerful
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