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10/31 c6 Timesliger
I honestly can’t tell I’m high or Shirou is high because all I saw some Alice and wonderland and jack skeleton
10/31 c6 Dimensionador
Déjame ver si entendí.

Shirou de alguna forma acabo en un mundo parecido al de Alicia en el país de las maravillas donde se encontró con beatlejuice y luego luchó contra la reina cabezona junto a Jack skellenton para evitar que esta invada otros mundos?

Amigo que te fumaste?
10/31 c6 Dasgun
0.0
10/28 c4 Tenyo-dono
Thanks for the great update!
10/24 c5 Lazy Servant
Thanks for the chapters.
10/22 c5 16BukkakeNoJutsu
This is really interesting!
10/17 c3 3Bigreader in The Omniverse
Grammar could use some work. I'm kind of confused about the slot thing I mean I know for the falna you can only have three spells fit into three slots but sherou already have those things just from his own nature and learning of his own magecraft so even if his slots are filled if he can learn a spell then through magecraft he should still be able to do it even though he can never do a lot because of his weird nature. I mean technically speaking structural analysis, reinforcement, projection, unlimited blade works, reading history of a blade, that's at least four spells just there.
10/15 c3 Tenyo-dono
I really love the idea of Shiro joining a familia of justice! I haven't seen this before, but it makes perfect sense. You also write it really well, and your Shiro feels just like the fate route one, the characterization feels on point!
9/28 c5 kadzooks
I went ahead and read this last chapter.

It's fine, but if you are going to go ahead with this story you might want to get an editor or take a day off before posting it so you can clean up the errors and mistakes.

Some sentences just hang there waiting to be explained, while others come up without a clear subject. Reading on it's fine as people can pick up who said what with the context clues but it is a bad habit to make.
9/27 c3 Argo Devilian
Astraea sees all that shit on his stats and doesnt question it at all?
9/27 c3 Lifelessman
Good Work...! 3
9/27 c2 Lifelessman
Good Work...! 2
9/24 c5 Hainz
But shirou ain’t a virgo mate
9/24 c5 Andaeus
I like the ideas you're putting out, but you really need to slow the pacing down. I can barely tell where or when people are when the action happens.

For example, I have no idea where Evilus put up the mutilated bodies. You just suddenly started talking about them. Was it right outside the Astraea Familia building? Deeper in town? You write point A and point B but skip what happened between.

When the Evilus agents attacked the gathering, where did they come from? Were they from among the adventures that were brought in? Did they come in through the windows? We also don't get any idea what the venue looks, which makes placing the the action harder.

Like I said, you have interesting ideas but you need to spend a little more time on the details.
9/23 c5 Guest
Interesting story, will you let astarea familia live, or will they all die except Ryuu and Shirou?Cant wait to see more
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