for The Power of Love2/11/2024 c95 Guest
Again, very well written but your consistency leaves much to be desired. In this chapter alone, you started by having Harry wake up before Elaine and leave her to go to the office. A few paragraphs later you have him roll out of bed to find a note from her saying she woke up first and left.
Shortly after that Harry is pondering the destruction of the horcrux and if there is another one, implying it was the first. Yet he and Elaine had destroyed the one in gargoyle just a few chapters before (And presumably on was used to revive grindlewald -that would make 3 accounted for)
Again when Harry visits corene she says she would like to see the study, but she's already been in the study.
I'll try to list anymore as I catch them so you can amend them as you see fit. Again your writing pace and diction are excellent, but story consistency leaves a lot to be desired.
Again, very well written but your consistency leaves much to be desired. In this chapter alone, you started by having Harry wake up before Elaine and leave her to go to the office. A few paragraphs later you have him roll out of bed to find a note from her saying she woke up first and left.
Shortly after that Harry is pondering the destruction of the horcrux and if there is another one, implying it was the first. Yet he and Elaine had destroyed the one in gargoyle just a few chapters before (And presumably on was used to revive grindlewald -that would make 3 accounted for)
Again when Harry visits corene she says she would like to see the study, but she's already been in the study.
I'll try to list anymore as I catch them so you can amend them as you see fit. Again your writing pace and diction are excellent, but story consistency leaves a lot to be desired.
2/4/2024 c1 handi seervices
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1/29/2024 c66 Guest
Very well written so far, but try to be more consistent. Last chapter (65) you mentioned that dumbledore would be back at hogwarts after the holidays. You also said Harry was now taller than Elaine thanks to his growth spurt. This chapter (66) you said he's still at the ministry and incapable of fighting. And also that Elaine is taller than harry again?
Very well written so far, but try to be more consistent. Last chapter (65) you mentioned that dumbledore would be back at hogwarts after the holidays. You also said Harry was now taller than Elaine thanks to his growth spurt. This chapter (66) you said he's still at the ministry and incapable of fighting. And also that Elaine is taller than harry again?
1/11/2024 c1 LypticRaIn
bruh, I couldn't even make it past chapter 3, i saw the signs of exactly what i said before, barely into chapter 3, and hes already freezing like a prey animal when she looks at him, could you be any more predictable?
bruh, I couldn't even make it past chapter 3, i saw the signs of exactly what i said before, barely into chapter 3, and hes already freezing like a prey animal when she looks at him, could you be any more predictable?
1/11/2024 c2 LypticRaIn
I've read quite a few stories that try this premise, almost all of them ended up being not to my tastes, as our "chosen one" protagonist always ends up being passively lead around by his nose. for some reason, writers love making harry a mentally weak cuck slave to fem riddle, and even now i can see the seeds of that forming here, i sincerely hope that isnt the case
I've read quite a few stories that try this premise, almost all of them ended up being not to my tastes, as our "chosen one" protagonist always ends up being passively lead around by his nose. for some reason, writers love making harry a mentally weak cuck slave to fem riddle, and even now i can see the seeds of that forming here, i sincerely hope that isnt the case
1/10/2024 c69 
1Pont1ac-Band1t
Minor mistake here. One of the students says voldemort when they mean Grindlewald
1Pont1ac-Band1tMinor mistake here. One of the students says voldemort when they mean Grindlewald
12/25/2023 c104 3The Last Centurion 1
This has truly been one of the most wonderful reads...
Your fic is beyond amazing.
They way you have developed your characters, the way you progressed the plot, the way you kept everything balanced...
I have read so many fics that it would be impossible to keep count, and seldom have I ever come across any writer as skilled as you are.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story and I hope you keep writing.
3The Last Centurion 1This has truly been one of the most wonderful reads...
Your fic is beyond amazing.
They way you have developed your characters, the way you progressed the plot, the way you kept everything balanced...
I have read so many fics that it would be impossible to keep count, and seldom have I ever come across any writer as skilled as you are.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story and I hope you keep writing.
12/14/2023 c29 1Pont1ac-Band1t
Wine isnt usually sweet unless its a dessert wine. Most wine particularly wine preffered by tue British Palate is vert dry. As an example Champagne ‘Brut’ means dry champagne. Brits like dry wine generally. So either you arnt british or dont know anything about wine. No judgement either way, just thought id tell you that continuously referring to the wine as sweet sounds very odd to snyone who knows anything about it.
1Pont1ac-Band1tWine isnt usually sweet unless its a dessert wine. Most wine particularly wine preffered by tue British Palate is vert dry. As an example Champagne ‘Brut’ means dry champagne. Brits like dry wine generally. So either you arnt british or dont know anything about wine. No judgement either way, just thought id tell you that continuously referring to the wine as sweet sounds very odd to snyone who knows anything about it.
12/13/2023 c25 Antex-The Legendary Zoroark
I can only wonder…who is the REAL snake among this snake den? What is truth? What is a lie?
I can only wonder…who is the REAL snake among this snake den? What is truth? What is a lie?
12/4/2023 c22 Charles Tiffey
Well I did "try" this but further on I read, more annoying this becomes.
Despite your multiple and long stories on gay pairs and pairings, I don't think you have an actual ideas on what gay romance is actually like!
This is - once again - more like the Hallmark channel TV movies version of faux gay relationships tbh.
As a openly out man, it's both slightly insulting and very irritating.
Charles 'Charlie' Tiffey, Oklahoma.
Well I did "try" this but further on I read, more annoying this becomes.
Despite your multiple and long stories on gay pairs and pairings, I don't think you have an actual ideas on what gay romance is actually like!
This is - once again - more like the Hallmark channel TV movies version of faux gay relationships tbh.
As a openly out man, it's both slightly insulting and very irritating.
Charles 'Charlie' Tiffey, Oklahoma.
12/4/2023 c52 thebearkissed
Harry and Elaine's height difference is such a charming detail. It remains to be one of my favourite things about this story. I'm also immensely glad that Harry doesn't sulk over it. It fits them perfectly. Loving this story so far!
Harry and Elaine's height difference is such a charming detail. It remains to be one of my favourite things about this story. I'm also immensely glad that Harry doesn't sulk over it. It fits them perfectly. Loving this story so far!