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for Force & Magic: The beginning

7/19 c4 marisares76
OK, I like this story but this whole no killing no matter what thing is getting old real quick! Murder is when you kill someone for pleasure or profit, NOT when you kill someone to protect yourself or others; and while it shouldn't be your first thought, it shouldn't be seen as wrong either, dark yes, wrong no. It's why this whole light versus dark thing is so screwed up because you can't have one without the other, they are both extremes, the goal is to stay right in the middle. Why, because if they don't kill this guy he will torture, rape, and kill others and, guess what, that will be on them for not stopping him when they had the chance. Being too light can be as bad as being too dark, just look at Albus Dumbledore, more people died because he refused to kill or let his people kill the Death Eaters than would've if he'd just put them down.
7/13 c15 starboy454
Excellent update
7/12 c15 Jostanos
RenaJo, I thought that this chapter was a joy to read, and that it passed. It was near flawless, but with missing quotation marks before one of Hermione's responses to Master Yaddle? My apologies, but nope.

ergo:

YOU PASS! *eye smiles*

*ahem*

RenaJo, to quote J. R. R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" "Safe journey wherever you fare. May your eyries welcome you on your journeys end."

Be safe, my friend. Be well.. May the Force be with you. :)
6/29 c14 2imgonnadie
Excellent chapter
6/27 c14 starboy454
Excellent update
6/27 c14 1Pont1ac-Band1t
I am not keen on you introducing Ron again. Bit cheesy and predictable. He stands zero chance against Harry so why bring him back? What’s more, I imagine you will drag out his death will later in the story and make him a nemesis of Harry when in reality he should die the first time they meet
6/27 c14 Jostanos
Oh Poodoo.. please tell me that diagonally scarred red head isn't Ron Weasley?
*sighs* He is.. isn't he? Oh great.. Now he becomes a Sith acolyte/apprentice and _attempts_ to break Harry Skywalker.

Not happening.
6/26 c14 mermizle
Ugh i was honestly hoping Ron would just stay dead.
6/26 c14 glavados31
Why o why didn't she just die and stay dead I really liked this story till he went back and I had grat hope when he couldn't save her
6/20 c13 N7SPARTAN-Commander-Jay117
Can't wait for more.
6/20 c11 N7SPARTAN-Commander-Jay117
Damn, that's Fraked.
6/20 c9 N7SPARTAN-Commander-Jay117
Badass Yoda is always great to see, I haven't seen many stories with him truly reminding people he is the one on top, and did it with only a few senesces. Love were this is going.
6/19 c13 dominick2091
HOLY FUCK KNUCKLES THIS IS AMAZING DEFINITELY ONE OF THE BEST I'VE EVER READ DEFINITELY RECOMMEND IT!
6/16 c9 13RenaJo
test
6/16 c9 2Nerdy Geekdom
Decent story. Grammar needs work because it's really difficult to tell when they talk without proper quotations.

I understand wanting to jump to the fun part of the story, but the build up is important. When they immediately declare each other family, it all feels forced and unreal. Try to slow down and build up relationships first. It makes no sense for a youngling Ahsoka to kiss Harry on the cheek, unless she was having visions and questioning the jedi code about attachments, but you don't show that, you jump right into the kiss.

Like I said, it's not a bad story but I think if you slowed down your writing and built up relationships, it would be a lot better. Fixing the grammar would really help too.
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