
11/4 c31 candel06
Very much enjoying the story so far. Very curious to see how things progress, keep up the great work. See ya in the next installment, Ja Ne!
Very much enjoying the story so far. Very curious to see how things progress, keep up the great work. See ya in the next installment, Ja Ne!
10/26 c1 shinghidorah
it's...very difficult to read past the earlier chapters because of the way you write emotional expressions and impressions for the characters.
i don't know if you have a beta-reader or not, but you might consider having one to smoothen your writing and story.
this is a very interesting fic, i really like what you did here. but i can only read up to chapter 15 before stopping as it hurts my head due to the errors and inconsistencies present in each chapters.
it's...very difficult to read past the earlier chapters because of the way you write emotional expressions and impressions for the characters.
i don't know if you have a beta-reader or not, but you might consider having one to smoothen your writing and story.
this is a very interesting fic, i really like what you did here. but i can only read up to chapter 15 before stopping as it hurts my head due to the errors and inconsistencies present in each chapters.
10/14 c1 Binge Reader
Katana doesn't fit for a Ninja. The closest thing to Katana they can use is a Wakizashi. Then again, we have people like Zabuza in this world.
Katana doesn't fit for a Ninja. The closest thing to Katana they can use is a Wakizashi. Then again, we have people like Zabuza in this world.
9/8 c11 dastewie2012
Actually very accurate for an*l. It takes a huge amount of prep work to do it. A plug and lube to loosen up, then even more lube during. Cause it genuinely does hurt the girl a lot and ripping does happen a decent amount of the time even with prep work. So if uou do an*l spontaneously she’s really the one who chose to not you lol
Actually very accurate for an*l. It takes a huge amount of prep work to do it. A plug and lube to loosen up, then even more lube during. Cause it genuinely does hurt the girl a lot and ripping does happen a decent amount of the time even with prep work. So if uou do an*l spontaneously she’s really the one who chose to not you lol
9/6 c3
31SapphireKageKyuura
Isn't Naruto, Hinata and Yakumo a bit too young to be sexually active? (without the sex). After all, they're only 12 aren't they. Sure I was thinking about sex at 11, but I never acted on it, until I was 19. By then I was already an adult. *has a thoughtful expression while also raising my eyebrow*

Isn't Naruto, Hinata and Yakumo a bit too young to be sexually active? (without the sex). After all, they're only 12 aren't they. Sure I was thinking about sex at 11, but I never acted on it, until I was 19. By then I was already an adult. *has a thoughtful expression while also raising my eyebrow*
6/23 c31 Ariadne Venegas
Considering what they know about Akatsuki it would be better if Karin was in that group instead of Fu and Fu was stationed in the village. She would be in too many danger.
Also the Third made a very poor decision the life of everyone for one country. He could have sent people to kill that invasion now Akatsuki will have 5 biju very easily, that doesn’t count that they need to protect Gaara also.
Considering what they know about Akatsuki it would be better if Karin was in that group instead of Fu and Fu was stationed in the village. She would be in too many danger.
Also the Third made a very poor decision the life of everyone for one country. He could have sent people to kill that invasion now Akatsuki will have 5 biju very easily, that doesn’t count that they need to protect Gaara also.
6/23 c29 Ariadne Venegas
One problem
All the genins are needed because they need evacuate the civilian
And you forgot about the serpent summons who went to destroy the city.
One problem
All the genins are needed because they need evacuate the civilian
And you forgot about the serpent summons who went to destroy the city.
6/22 c18 Ariadne Venegas
I think Yakumo is stupid right now. The Hokage needs to know! And it was obviously not an ally but Kabuto
I think Yakumo is stupid right now. The Hokage needs to know! And it was obviously not an ally but Kabuto