for Naruto ANBU-maki16h c28 jonahtapper1228
Dude u seriously need to add lemons when u talk about having sex. Be it via flash back or just having them in the present. Otherwise their really isn’t much reason for this fic to be M rated.
Dude u seriously need to add lemons when u talk about having sex. Be it via flash back or just having them in the present. Otherwise their really isn’t much reason for this fic to be M rated.
8/9 c28 Borello
nice work.
nice work.
8/8 c1 
2Areyem Meyera
“Minato Namikaze….. seal the box into his child..”
Naruto has a freakin ninetailed box inside of him.
Yep, after all these years, even the very first paragraph of the story hasn’t been edited yet.
2Areyem Meyera“Minato Namikaze….. seal the box into his child..”
Naruto has a freakin ninetailed box inside of him.
Yep, after all these years, even the very first paragraph of the story hasn’t been edited yet.
8/7 c28 27InsaneMakaioshin
1. The brass pair to just declare yourself a Kage with such a small village.
2. Naruto told you so Kankuro.
3. Why doesn't anyone use poison that is absorbed through the skin?
4. NO, MY SHIKATEMA!
27InsaneMakaioshin1. The brass pair to just declare yourself a Kage with such a small village.
2. Naruto told you so Kankuro.
3. Why doesn't anyone use poison that is absorbed through the skin?
4. NO, MY SHIKATEMA!
7/13 c27 Borello
good work.
good work.
7/12 c1 3ExBlazE
Uh... Mr. Author, I mean this in the nicest way possible but your first chapter(s) need a rewrite. As the metaphorical "face" of the story, it's... not quite as good as it could be.
Of course, this is me assuming that later chapters have gotten better as you became more experienced. If they're all about the same quality-wise... welp.
3ExBlazEUh... Mr. Author, I mean this in the nicest way possible but your first chapter(s) need a rewrite. As the metaphorical "face" of the story, it's... not quite as good as it could be.
Of course, this is me assuming that later chapters have gotten better as you became more experienced. If they're all about the same quality-wise... welp.
7/11 c27 atengawchok
Really? I don't know if Naruto is just torturing Ino for being mean to him for old days. Way sadistic of him of breaking her walls, lol!
Really? I don't know if Naruto is just torturing Ino for being mean to him for old days. Way sadistic of him of breaking her walls, lol!
7/11 c27 jonahtapper1228
Great chapter but you really need to work on adding lemons. Hearing of naruto slept with or woke up next to a girl is just cock teasing and it pissses your readers off. I’m not saying every chapter should have one but if your gonna have him have sex then add a lemon.
Great chapter but you really need to work on adding lemons. Hearing of naruto slept with or woke up next to a girl is just cock teasing and it pissses your readers off. I’m not saying every chapter should have one but if your gonna have him have sex then add a lemon.
7/6 c2 alsdjhfgljkwebgh
Jesus, this is crap. None of this makes sense, and you're grammar looks like something my buddy's toddler could beat.
Jesus, this is crap. None of this makes sense, and you're grammar looks like something my buddy's toddler could beat.
6/18 c7 1AvidReader2425
Personally I found everything that happened with Haku to move along way too fast, especially the fact that he has three other women he should be loyal to, and honestly made the story not my cup of tea. Best of luck though.
1AvidReader2425Personally I found everything that happened with Haku to move along way too fast, especially the fact that he has three other women he should be loyal to, and honestly made the story not my cup of tea. Best of luck though.