for Invictus1/13 c3 BillionDavid
I literally read on reddit that you could take away 200k words from this story and lose nothing. Unnecessary focus on side characters and slow plot progression. all these cornerstones in interest loss.
I literally read on reddit that you could take away 200k words from this story and lose nothing. Unnecessary focus on side characters and slow plot progression. all these cornerstones in interest loss.
1/13 c4 BillionDavid
Way too much focus on other characters, I literally skip them a lose nothing. It just breaks the immersion and dwindles interest. If Naruto is the MC, tell the story through him. I don't need to know in excruciating detail what Inoichi and his team was doing before Hiruzen called him. It adds nothing to the plot.
Way too much focus on other characters, I literally skip them a lose nothing. It just breaks the immersion and dwindles interest. If Naruto is the MC, tell the story through him. I don't need to know in excruciating detail what Inoichi and his team was doing before Hiruzen called him. It adds nothing to the plot.
1/13 c4 BillionDavid
Way too much focus on other characters, I literally skip them a lose nothing. It just breaks the immersion and dwindles interest. If Naruto is the MC, tell the story through him. I don't need to know in excruciating detail what Inoichi and his team was doing before Hiruzen called him. It adds nothing to the plot.
Way too much focus on other characters, I literally skip them a lose nothing. It just breaks the immersion and dwindles interest. If Naruto is the MC, tell the story through him. I don't need to know in excruciating detail what Inoichi and his team was doing before Hiruzen called him. It adds nothing to the plot.
12/20/2024 c50 
2xXxjfreed21xXX
ch50 missed opportunity to promote Naruto to tokubetsu making his deal with kakashi permanent to his immense displeasure.
2xXxjfreed21xXXch50 missed opportunity to promote Naruto to tokubetsu making his deal with kakashi permanent to his immense displeasure.
12/13/2024 c14 xXxjfreed21xXX
ch 14 excellent story so far, but now I have to go listen to one of my favorite songs ever, when my car stereo if f!cked.
ch 14 excellent story so far, but now I have to go listen to one of my favorite songs ever, when my car stereo if f!cked.
11/30/2024 c10 Guest
The MC is exceedingly unlikable.
The MC is exceedingly unlikable.
11/24/2024 c47 Sahamosveb
"The trend is getting married early and having kids during conflcts." It's not early 20s, but rather 16-18 years old. I realise this seems unacceptable to a modern westerner, but it is. 20-25 is when you already have 6-8 year old kids.
"The trend is getting married early and having kids during conflcts." It's not early 20s, but rather 16-18 years old. I realise this seems unacceptable to a modern westerner, but it is. 20-25 is when you already have 6-8 year old kids.
11/22/2024 c1 cloudstrife117
And you lost me immediately with him having a sister at the end. That trope is usually the sign of a bad story of some incest shit I have no interest in reading.
And you lost me immediately with him having a sister at the end. That trope is usually the sign of a bad story of some incest shit I have no interest in reading.
11/22/2024 c39 John
You didn’t develop Shika enough to pair him up with run, Sasuke would make way more sense.
Great story
You didn’t develop Shika enough to pair him up with run, Sasuke would make way more sense.
Great story
11/19/2024 c57 Dretnuh
Now that I’m getting to a good stopping point so I have more to read when new chapters come out. I’d just like to say, this is by far one of the best Naruto insert fics I’ve ever read. By far the best one I’ve read where the insert is actually Naruto. The only other insert fic I can think of that’s as good, is annoying to read. Because while the writing as in that story itself is great, the author’s first language is very obviously not english, so the grammar and such is atrocious. So, I really hope you keep updating this fic so I can confidently say it’s the best Naruto insert fic I’ve ever read!
Now that I’m getting to a good stopping point so I have more to read when new chapters come out. I’d just like to say, this is by far one of the best Naruto insert fics I’ve ever read. By far the best one I’ve read where the insert is actually Naruto. The only other insert fic I can think of that’s as good, is annoying to read. Because while the writing as in that story itself is great, the author’s first language is very obviously not english, so the grammar and such is atrocious. So, I really hope you keep updating this fic so I can confidently say it’s the best Naruto insert fic I’ve ever read!
11/19/2024 c54 Dretnuh
Oh I really hope this means Madara will be the end of series big bad. I have always thought Madara was an infinitely better villain than Kaguya. Just the fact of how they beat Kaguya demonstrates that perfectly. But also Madara is atleast in my limited anime watching experience, the most badass anime villain, and one of the most badass villains in general that I know of. Just because his plan is retarded doesn’t diminish that either.
Oh I really hope this means Madara will be the end of series big bad. I have always thought Madara was an infinitely better villain than Kaguya. Just the fact of how they beat Kaguya demonstrates that perfectly. But also Madara is atleast in my limited anime watching experience, the most badass anime villain, and one of the most badass villains in general that I know of. Just because his plan is retarded doesn’t diminish that either.
11/18/2024 c53 Dretnuh
If I was Naruto, I would have asked that old toad if this was nepotism because his sister was the reincarnation of his old buddy Hagaromo’s son.
If I was Naruto, I would have asked that old toad if this was nepotism because his sister was the reincarnation of his old buddy Hagaromo’s son.
11/18/2024 c53 Dretnuh
Wait. I’m confused. Why would Itachi’s eye be bleeding? He has Eternal Mangekyou now….? I rhiught the bleeding was just like a visual way to show how they were damaging their eyes?
Wait. I’m confused. Why would Itachi’s eye be bleeding? He has Eternal Mangekyou now….? I rhiught the bleeding was just like a visual way to show how they were damaging their eyes?
11/17/2024 c47 Dretnuh
I don’t understand how Ashina thinks he’s helping protect his grandchildren when he can’t even take a couple seconds to explain to Konoha shinobi that he’s on their side before he’s just like yeah fuck it I’ll fight you. Like Gai could be actually helping somewhere instead of just fighting Ashina. He really seems more like he’s just having fun stirring shit up to me lol.
I don’t understand how Ashina thinks he’s helping protect his grandchildren when he can’t even take a couple seconds to explain to Konoha shinobi that he’s on their side before he’s just like yeah fuck it I’ll fight you. Like Gai could be actually helping somewhere instead of just fighting Ashina. He really seems more like he’s just having fun stirring shit up to me lol.