for Invictus3/3 c5 AyAyRon420
as someone who works in a store it is not uncommon to have out of date or rotting food we gotta toss out and to be honest it wouldn't be to hard to just not toss it out and give it to him
as someone who works in a store it is not uncommon to have out of date or rotting food we gotta toss out and to be honest it wouldn't be to hard to just not toss it out and give it to him
2/4 c10 Guest
This MC is such a fucking loser. Congrats, on becoming a genocide enabler.
This MC is such a fucking loser. Congrats, on becoming a genocide enabler.
2/2 c36 Reincarnationfan
Naruto is thinking to himself why is Hurin acting like she's not him, Naruto was the one who took food from Nami, Naruto was the one who openly infiltrated the Hyuuga clan and Naruto is the only one who knows what Hurin knows. I think you're trying to forget what you wrote stupidly and make Hurin a mystery because there's really no way she's anyone other than Naruto.
Naruto is thinking to himself why is Hurin acting like she's not him, Naruto was the one who took food from Nami, Naruto was the one who openly infiltrated the Hyuuga clan and Naruto is the only one who knows what Hurin knows. I think you're trying to forget what you wrote stupidly and make Hurin a mystery because there's really no way she's anyone other than Naruto.
1/26 c30 Guest
I want to like this story but it's far too slow and far too dramatic for me.
If you wanted a BAMF MC, you are going about it in the wrong way. I don't care for a grown man in a young body going through mental trauma.
That and your personal issues about your inability to separate real life and fiction is starting to piss me off. *No Romance before after the time skip, no romance before after the time skip, no romance before after the time skip.*
Very engaging writing, and very mature as well. It's so funny in this fucking Fandom, everyone focuses so much goddamn time on the first part of the story, and the shit fans come here for is locked behind a 500k wordwarll with a promise of possibly never.
Fun.
But wave and the chunin exams get detailed to hell and back to a point where no one even actually reads it anymore because someone did it better, quicker and more satisfying than you.
I want to like this story but it's far too slow and far too dramatic for me.
If you wanted a BAMF MC, you are going about it in the wrong way. I don't care for a grown man in a young body going through mental trauma.
That and your personal issues about your inability to separate real life and fiction is starting to piss me off. *No Romance before after the time skip, no romance before after the time skip, no romance before after the time skip.*
Very engaging writing, and very mature as well. It's so funny in this fucking Fandom, everyone focuses so much goddamn time on the first part of the story, and the shit fans come here for is locked behind a 500k wordwarll with a promise of possibly never.
Fun.
But wave and the chunin exams get detailed to hell and back to a point where no one even actually reads it anymore because someone did it better, quicker and more satisfying than you.
1/13 c3 BillionDavid
I literally read on reddit that you could take away 200k words from this story and lose nothing. Unnecessary focus on side characters and slow plot progression. all these cornerstones in interest loss.
I literally read on reddit that you could take away 200k words from this story and lose nothing. Unnecessary focus on side characters and slow plot progression. all these cornerstones in interest loss.
1/13 c4 BillionDavid
Way too much focus on other characters, I literally skip them a lose nothing. It just breaks the immersion and dwindles interest. If Naruto is the MC, tell the story through him. I don't need to know in excruciating detail what Inoichi and his team was doing before Hiruzen called him. It adds nothing to the plot.
Way too much focus on other characters, I literally skip them a lose nothing. It just breaks the immersion and dwindles interest. If Naruto is the MC, tell the story through him. I don't need to know in excruciating detail what Inoichi and his team was doing before Hiruzen called him. It adds nothing to the plot.
1/13 c4 BillionDavid
Way too much focus on other characters, I literally skip them a lose nothing. It just breaks the immersion and dwindles interest. If Naruto is the MC, tell the story through him. I don't need to know in excruciating detail what Inoichi and his team was doing before Hiruzen called him. It adds nothing to the plot.
Way too much focus on other characters, I literally skip them a lose nothing. It just breaks the immersion and dwindles interest. If Naruto is the MC, tell the story through him. I don't need to know in excruciating detail what Inoichi and his team was doing before Hiruzen called him. It adds nothing to the plot.
12/20/2024 c50 
2xXxjfreed21xXX
ch50 missed opportunity to promote Naruto to tokubetsu making his deal with kakashi permanent to his immense displeasure.
2xXxjfreed21xXXch50 missed opportunity to promote Naruto to tokubetsu making his deal with kakashi permanent to his immense displeasure.
12/13/2024 c14 xXxjfreed21xXX
ch 14 excellent story so far, but now I have to go listen to one of my favorite songs ever, when my car stereo if f!cked.
ch 14 excellent story so far, but now I have to go listen to one of my favorite songs ever, when my car stereo if f!cked.
11/30/2024 c10 Guest
The MC is exceedingly unlikable.
The MC is exceedingly unlikable.
11/24/2024 c47 Sahamosveb
"The trend is getting married early and having kids during conflcts." It's not early 20s, but rather 16-18 years old. I realise this seems unacceptable to a modern westerner, but it is. 20-25 is when you already have 6-8 year old kids.
"The trend is getting married early and having kids during conflcts." It's not early 20s, but rather 16-18 years old. I realise this seems unacceptable to a modern westerner, but it is. 20-25 is when you already have 6-8 year old kids.
11/22/2024 c1 cloudstrife117
And you lost me immediately with him having a sister at the end. That trope is usually the sign of a bad story of some incest shit I have no interest in reading.
And you lost me immediately with him having a sister at the end. That trope is usually the sign of a bad story of some incest shit I have no interest in reading.
11/22/2024 c39 John
You didn’t develop Shika enough to pair him up with run, Sasuke would make way more sense.
Great story
You didn’t develop Shika enough to pair him up with run, Sasuke would make way more sense.
Great story