for Putting the pieces back together1/13/2021 c1 
2Phoenix Namikaze
in the process of a rewriting. will upload the chapters when I finish fixing the dialogue. almost done
2Phoenix Namikazein the process of a rewriting. will upload the chapters when I finish fixing the dialogue. almost done
1/13/2021 c1 arvora
Hello, the story seems to be interesting, but if I can make a remark, It is a bit tedious to read because it is difficult to differentiate dialog from narration. Could you differentiate more between the two ? put in punctuation mark or go to the line for the dialog ?
Best regards,
Hello, the story seems to be interesting, but if I can make a remark, It is a bit tedious to read because it is difficult to differentiate dialog from narration. Could you differentiate more between the two ? put in punctuation mark or go to the line for the dialog ?
Best regards,
1/12/2021 c1 31Sakura Lisel
Hey you need to reupload all of your chapters.
First off, you need to put EVERYTHING in the proper paragraph format that SEPERATES everything that is being said and done in the story instead of them all of them being mashed together in ONE paragraph.
Second I don’t know if you did it on purpose, but another thing that needs to change is the lack of “ and ‘ for all of the SPEAKING parts of the characters.
The missing “ and ‘ combined with the mashed up paragraphs, is making it IMPOSSIBLE to tell exactly WHO is saying WHAT and WHEN they are saying it. *lol*
31Sakura LiselHey you need to reupload all of your chapters.
First off, you need to put EVERYTHING in the proper paragraph format that SEPERATES everything that is being said and done in the story instead of them all of them being mashed together in ONE paragraph.
Second I don’t know if you did it on purpose, but another thing that needs to change is the lack of “ and ‘ for all of the SPEAKING parts of the characters.
The missing “ and ‘ combined with the mashed up paragraphs, is making it IMPOSSIBLE to tell exactly WHO is saying WHAT and WHEN they are saying it. *lol*