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6/19 c2 Iskallos
I don't think I can continue reading this. The first chapter wasn't very good and the second chapter made me realise this likely isn't for me. The main character's an asshole who seems unwilling to grow and the way the reincarnation is set up feels conflicting.
6/12 c17 Vortozan
Yeah, that move with Amy and Charmander is borderline psychological torture on a 5 year old kid for 5 years straight.
Mark’s officially too much of a asshole of an MC for me at this point.
Thanks for the read dude. I just don’t have the stomach for this. Your writing is perfect cause you wanted this to happen this way, but for me as a reader I just can’t connect with these types of stories. (Got soft heart syndrome I guess lol)
Many thanks for the read! And best of luck on improving your mad writing skills!
- Vortz
6/12 c15 Vortz
Wow he’s a dick, he just broke a promise he made to one of his team in 30 seconds
6/12 c11 Vortozan
By sticking to a forced canon universe where Mark believes he can control the timeline despite him and others changing it completely from the get go with their presence. It makes your world building a closed affair instead of open.
In other words it makes it seem like nothing out of the main plot points will happen and no really interesting/different world building or story arch’s popping up.

Another thing. You brought up physic protection a few chapters ago and made it seem real dangerous for him to go anywhere near Saffron.
Now that’s a city where no one will look too closely at him. Now he plans to go to the Game Corner where they will look especially hard at him.
This doesn’t really line up logically with his previous thinking.

Then there’s him showing himself as a powerful threat to the Rocket Trio. One who knew who they were, seemed to have hunted them down and also threatened their lives.
… … …
They work directly for Team Rocket and Giovanni. And if they had any training or protocols then would need to report their day to day lives/problems they run into.
… … …
I just don’t understand at all what the hell Mark is thinking. It makes zero sense.
He’ll have at worst a Rocket hit squad or at Best Giovanni very aware of him by the end of the week, and that’s being generous.
This interaction was really story breaking for me due to how dangerous Mark’s interaction with them is.
Then theirs the fact that if the league ever gets their hands on them, then a physic extraction would show Mark as a Rocket sympathiser. Note: that can easily happen due to those three being incompetent, high profile Pokémon thief’s hundreds of times in canon. It is very very likely they will be captured and give up Mark (who will become high profile after the indigo league championship) to save their own skin even without a physic memory extraction.

Other than that (aka only a few things this chapter) your entire story has been well paced and intriguing throughout.
Don’t take the above paragraphs as negatives, so much as criticism. After all, that’s one person’s perspective. You worry about your entire readerships perspective instead ‘thumbs up’.
Amazing work so far dude! And thank you THANK YOU for the read!
- Vortz
6/5 c20 Aki13S
Umm...I love this. Will you keep writing this fic? Or have you moved to somewhere website? Anyway, just letting upu know I enjoyed till now and would love to read more.
6/5 c17 Guest
I like this story very much. The Pokemon world feels real and I like the MC's take what you can and give nothing back attitude.
A fresh Pokemon story and unlike many people I actually approve of his manipulative way with leaf and Charmander.
Unlike other pokefics where MC's get starters in the wild like a common pokemons because the plot requires it.
Hope you are doing fine and if possible please continue this story.
6/5 c15 Aki13S
You know...Mark really is a buisness man in all things. I kinda feel it should be wrong, but i know it really isnt. Its messing with my head. I'm simultaneously entertained and horrified.
6/5 c14 Aki13S
This is definitely different from any pokemon fic i've read. I'm really enjoying it so far. so yay!
PS: theres a typo in the last line i think?
6/5 c3 Aki13S
small typos in the para where mark explains his reasons. like 'tread'...just fyi
6/5 c2 Aki13S
its seriously cute that he got in trouble for planning on passing notes. How very wholesome. I dont know if i'll enjoy our MC, doesnt seem like a person i would like. But! this is a story and i'm very willing to give him a chance so i'll keep on reading. its great so far. \/
5/31 c10 The-Anti-Akuma
I still think back on chapter 9 of this story whenever I think about Pokemon, it's just so absolutely scummy what he did to get both Charmander and Bulbasaur.
5/31 c1 KvAT
Bro had so much spite he literally ranted while dead for a while there. Nice.
5/23 c9 Guest
Bulbasour yey!
5/23 c2 Guest
cool start good job
5/16 c5 TrumpasaurusRex
Mark sat there, feeling enlightenment, elation, fear, and finally, resignation run through his body in mere moments before he sighed and asked, 'So if I wanted to give Caterpie a nickname, it would have to mean something to me and I'd have to convey that feeling when telling him that?'

Why is he investing so much energy into deciding a nickname? I don’t particularly care for nicknames because it’s really hard to remember who is who. When you start collecting many Pokémon, do you think the readers will remember all the nicknames?
Giving nicknames is very cringe.
Also, Kraven is a bad name for a Caterpie.
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