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1/19/2021 c2 Robbie2413
For a title, I have no clue. Maybe post more of the fanfic and you can get title ideas.
1/19/2021 c2 4Spartastic 4
Aight, so most of this chapter and the entirety of the previous chapter were nothing but dialogue with sound effects, marked by asterisks. I won’t say that it is hard to read, when compared to the previous version that just didn’t translate from one software to another, but more so that it is simple. Details need to be added in such as character descriptions, actions being done, or even just a quick backstory.

And example of this would beAs the Admiral looked over the report, she sipped her coffee and let the warm, bitter wake up her senses from the sleep that was just taken from her.”

While there is much more I do wish to say I’ll just stick with, expand upon what you have. Write it in a way that doesn’t sound like a summary but is more of a detailed account of what happened. Doesn’t have to be super detailed but just add stuff in.
1/16/2021 c1 Guest
it's showing all your grammar and spacing typed out
1/16/2021 c1 Guest
Ummm... this is gibberish.
1/17/2021 c1 Spartastic 4
Hey dude, if this was types into Word or something and you just copy and pasted, shit’s fucked up
1/16/2021 c1 8Foxhound1998
Theres something wong with the text

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