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1h c2 8Cavik
Okay, there was more of an attempt to characterize the characters (humans and Victini) this time. It's still rather surface-level, but since it's just the second chapter, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

I would advise you check the grammar more thoroughly, though. I noticed quite a few spelling errors.


"She was the Head of Security, always eager to help."
That's really not the impression I'm getting from Michelle with what you've shown us.
1h c1 Cavik
Alright. As first chapters go this does set the tone of what it will be about. Unfortunately, there isn't much more I can say. The human characters are not focused on enough to understand what makes them tic. Only exception would be Michelle, but even then what we're given is surface-level information.
5/29 c3 lonelyboi69
Interesting so far, it feels like it's gonna be one of those fics that get to 100k words. Looks promising, the plot is unique and interesting so far which is pretty much the most important part of any fic and you've already got me hooked on interest. Gonna go wait and see where this goes.
5/25 c2 lonelyboi69
Looks interesting, I'll give it a follow to see where this goes
3/22 c8 24Cheycartoongirl8
This was a very interesting fic! I really like the personality you gave Victini!

This is really well written and I can't wait to see what's going to happen next!
3/17 c1 96Crystal Snowflakes
A fascinating concept!

What if?

I won't lie, I've often wanted a pokemon ever since I was a young'un XD. I enjoyed the beginning of the story and in curious to see where you planned on taking it.

Thanks for the read! :)
3/2 c8 Guest
I don't think Pokémon are immune to heavy artillery bombardment from miles away.
2/23 c7 GWH
I relate to the little boy who saw the Sentret, but I would spend the rest of my night crying too. I love your story!
2/23 c1 GWH
I've never read a Pokemon fanfic, so in that sense I'm coming in kinda fandom-blind (like, what human characters are usually written, and what Pokemon are featured, and what regions, I wouldn't know), but I am familiar with Pokemon (I've played every game and had the first gen cards growing up) so I'm not totally lost. Anyway! I love where this is headed. It's such a loaded premise, Pokemon appearing in our world, because how would we react? What would we do? And Victini! I have thought about that one in so long!
2/9 c1 Guest
It’s been a long, long time since I watched Pokemon (must’ve been a kid for sure haha), but this reads like a great set-up for a fascinating story in its own right! I really like how you merged our very mundane and very normal world with something as otherworldly as Pokemon. And I loved how you even provided them with insight. That was a very pleasant and interesting read :)
2/7 c7 26SnowLabrador
I loved the parts at the end where you describe how other people are seeing this event. When two worlds collide, it is a crazy thing. I will eagerly await more chapters; you're a pretty good writer. Keep it up!
2/7 c6 SnowLabrador
So this chapter was in a different format than the others, which I appreciated. If I had one thing I might change, one piece of constructive criticism, I would advise you to write somewhat longer chapters. Other than that, great job.
2/7 c5 SnowLabrador
I like that you're injecting the perfect amount of mild humor into the story, while still keeping it fairly serious. I'd also like to apologize for the short reviews; I'm not the best at this. Still, though, I like this story quite a bit.
2/7 c4 SnowLabrador
This story remains thrilling and entertaining. Even though there are obviously some serious themes in there, there were parts that made me smile. Keep up the good work.
2/7 c3 SnowLabrador
The Pokemon eating the rifle cracked me up. Also, it's rather wholesome that the Victini now has a name. I would write more, but I have to go on a Zoom with my brother now.
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