for Northern Wind3/13 c10 l30rusty
so no execution for the attempted murder they did nothing to the spy and let all them go ridiculous
so no execution for the attempted murder they did nothing to the spy and let all them go ridiculous
3/13 c10 l30rusty
why the hell would she try to save the thieves hands and why the hell wasnt harkoon sent to the cells
why the hell would she try to save the thieves hands and why the hell wasnt harkoon sent to the cells
3/12 c7 l30rusty
Why cant you kill that frigid bitch please its painful every chapter shes not dead or exiled
apart from that i love the story
Why cant you kill that frigid bitch please its painful every chapter shes not dead or exiled
apart from that i love the story
3/12 c1 l30rusty
so this is a stark girl with a vague recollection of Harry Potters life and not harry?
so this is a stark girl with a vague recollection of Harry Potters life and not harry?
3/12 c1 l30rusty
i was kinda hoping for harriet or some such variation off
im enjoying the story anywas
i was kinda hoping for harriet or some such variation off
im enjoying the story anywas
3/7 c38 TitanXyz
Thanks for writing this story. I enjoyed it immensely. It brought me joy for many days.
Thanks for writing this story. I enjoyed it immensely. It brought me joy for many days.
3/6 c38 
8Digitize27
An enjoyable read, while as you admitted the ending did feel a tad rushed and it would have been nice to linger a little more on the Kingdom that flourished (or otherwise) under Meera's rule, it didn't feel like there was anything left unnecessarily hanging or unfinished (Though as a personal gripe, I feel it would have been nicer tribute to have her sons be James and Eddard, as nods to both her fathers, since Sansa already named her son Robb, or perhaps James and Ned, to avoid confusion with Wylla's Eddard)
Main constructive criticisms would be that at times certain characters felt unfairly flanderised - often with the excuse of the red wisps, which while a perfectly diegetic reason often felt like more of an excuse to bash certain characters, or dumb them down. Turning Cersei into a barely coherent, screaming harpy when we've seen that even the worst humiliations and losses only seemed to hone her cruel and calculating edge in canon, or conveniently having the High Sparrow actually be a despicable fraud to avoid what could have been a complex and nuanced threat to Meera's legitimacy through the conflicting faiths.
Still, for the sake of an expedient story that didn't drag overlong, they're forgivable.
From a writing standpoint, the story definitely saw improvement as it progressed. Dialogue is probably the weakest element (not bad, just comparatively to the other aspects of your prose, such as descriptions or pacing) For instance you have a habit of being a little verbose or over-expository at times, with lots of long spoken sentences, which can seem a little unnatural. You should also get out of the habit (if you haven't already with more recent stories) of writing shouted speech with all-caps. It's not pleasant to read, and proper use of dialogue tags and contextual description accomplish the same effect without looking - for lack of a better term - a bit cringe-inducing.
Still, definitely an enjoyable rendition of ASoIaF mixed with some HP elements, Harry's gender change didn't feel forced or pointless, and it did come across decently well that he was not a man who suddenly woke up a women, but a woman who had the memories of a man, so that was nicely handled in my opinion. The elements of his original worlds magic could maybe have been woven throughout more of the story to justify its inclusion (not a lot would really have changed if he didn't have access to his original magic at all, from a narrative perspective) instead of coming so late, lean more into how he adapts to Westeros' version of magic, but that's quite minor.
I'll check out Lion of the Rock next I think.
8Digitize27An enjoyable read, while as you admitted the ending did feel a tad rushed and it would have been nice to linger a little more on the Kingdom that flourished (or otherwise) under Meera's rule, it didn't feel like there was anything left unnecessarily hanging or unfinished (Though as a personal gripe, I feel it would have been nicer tribute to have her sons be James and Eddard, as nods to both her fathers, since Sansa already named her son Robb, or perhaps James and Ned, to avoid confusion with Wylla's Eddard)
Main constructive criticisms would be that at times certain characters felt unfairly flanderised - often with the excuse of the red wisps, which while a perfectly diegetic reason often felt like more of an excuse to bash certain characters, or dumb them down. Turning Cersei into a barely coherent, screaming harpy when we've seen that even the worst humiliations and losses only seemed to hone her cruel and calculating edge in canon, or conveniently having the High Sparrow actually be a despicable fraud to avoid what could have been a complex and nuanced threat to Meera's legitimacy through the conflicting faiths.
Still, for the sake of an expedient story that didn't drag overlong, they're forgivable.
From a writing standpoint, the story definitely saw improvement as it progressed. Dialogue is probably the weakest element (not bad, just comparatively to the other aspects of your prose, such as descriptions or pacing) For instance you have a habit of being a little verbose or over-expository at times, with lots of long spoken sentences, which can seem a little unnatural. You should also get out of the habit (if you haven't already with more recent stories) of writing shouted speech with all-caps. It's not pleasant to read, and proper use of dialogue tags and contextual description accomplish the same effect without looking - for lack of a better term - a bit cringe-inducing.
Still, definitely an enjoyable rendition of ASoIaF mixed with some HP elements, Harry's gender change didn't feel forced or pointless, and it did come across decently well that he was not a man who suddenly woke up a women, but a woman who had the memories of a man, so that was nicely handled in my opinion. The elements of his original worlds magic could maybe have been woven throughout more of the story to justify its inclusion (not a lot would really have changed if he didn't have access to his original magic at all, from a narrative perspective) instead of coming so late, lean more into how he adapts to Westeros' version of magic, but that's quite minor.
I'll check out Lion of the Rock next I think.
3/6 c37 Digitize27
Yeaahhh... Arya would make a pretty awful queen. That's not great long term planning. She would have been better naming Jon, or Rhaenys. They at least have legitimate claims that would back them up against what would be an already rocky succession. Arya would have the support of her siblings, but little else, and has no proven track record of leadership... or even particularly good decision making. She's flighty, going from wanting to be a warrior, to an animal breeder, to a spy master, and she hardly seems the type to understand the political necessities of establishing an heir and dynasty.
Yeah, actually, one of the worst picks Meera could have made to be honest.
Yeaahhh... Arya would make a pretty awful queen. That's not great long term planning. She would have been better naming Jon, or Rhaenys. They at least have legitimate claims that would back them up against what would be an already rocky succession. Arya would have the support of her siblings, but little else, and has no proven track record of leadership... or even particularly good decision making. She's flighty, going from wanting to be a warrior, to an animal breeder, to a spy master, and she hardly seems the type to understand the political necessities of establishing an heir and dynasty.
Yeah, actually, one of the worst picks Meera could have made to be honest.
3/6 c32 Digitize27
You called Euron's ship the Black Wind in this chapter, Asha's ship, not The Silence.
You called Euron's ship the Black Wind in this chapter, Asha's ship, not The Silence.