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for taking his place

4/23/2021 c4 Guest
Continue
4/23/2021 c4 Exodus12345
Ah dang it. I was hoping Haku was the Waifu.
4/18/2021 c1 joazmi larper
jAJAJAJA DE TODAS LAS HISTORIS DE ISEJY ESTA ES LA Q AMS RISA Y SORPRESA ME DIO WEY ENSERIO LO DE EL PRIMER PROBLEMA Q ENFENTA Y PREOCUPACIO JAJA LA DE CAMBIAR SU PA√ĎAL
4/12/2021 c3 momongky
Plz i beg you... Quickly update
4/12/2021 c1 momongky
OMG PLZ CONTINUE!
4/12/2021 c3 Exodus12345
The English is really bad but the story is good.
3/5/2021 c1 gatitapri
For what reason does it seem so well known to me, it is because it was in Spanish
3/5/2021 c2 Raisinman
Thanks for the chapter!

A couple things to say: I like the story. The inner thoughts of the characters are interesting, and I find the plot so far to be good. However there are a lot of grammatical errors in this chapter, far more than the first. It makes it very hard to read and there are many parts that do not make sense because the wrong words are used. I think this story could be really great, if you got a proof reader to catch these errors. But I do want to say again, I really enjoy the story, I just wanted to give some feedback that would make the story better.

Till next time
3/1/2021 c1 Guest
Continua
3/1/2021 c1 Raisinman
I liked the first chapter and am looking foreword to future releases. I think the character you created has an interesting perspective and engaging internal dialogue. So overall, great work! (Especially impressive as English is apparently not your first language)

Some small errors I noticed:
1. The name is Minato Namikaze, not kamikaze
2. there was a whole paragraph that was bolded and underlined unnecessarily

Thanks for the chapter!
2/27/2021 c1 beerme
it was ok I like more in the first chapter but other then that its fine

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