for A King's Path3/14/2023 c33 
14BiGDeal
What a shame that you've stopped adding to this story, for whatever personal reasons. It's a good rendition of the tale with a different slant on thing and characters.
Hopefully, you'll come back to this and continue it. Been there and done that in my stories.
14BiGDealWhat a shame that you've stopped adding to this story, for whatever personal reasons. It's a good rendition of the tale with a different slant on thing and characters.
Hopefully, you'll come back to this and continue it. Been there and done that in my stories.
2/19/2023 c33 LokiLokana
Love this! Just spent yesterday and today binging it. I hope you do continue it. I’m off to check out your other story!
Love this! Just spent yesterday and today binging it. I hope you do continue it. I’m off to check out your other story!
2/13/2023 c2 Guest
One technical point; there is NO subway aka underground trains from Surrey (anywhere) to London. The trains that run are intercity surface trains not unlike Amtrack and other such regional trains running intercity service.
One technical point; there is NO subway aka underground trains from Surrey (anywhere) to London. The trains that run are intercity surface trains not unlike Amtrack and other such regional trains running intercity service.
2/12/2023 c33 Callum Runchman
What a disappointment. This was such a good read and I was so looking forward to how it played out. Seeing it abandoned like this...what a waste
What a disappointment. This was such a good read and I was so looking forward to how it played out. Seeing it abandoned like this...what a waste
2/4/2023 c6 23el santo pegaso
En verdad que manía tienen en quitarle los lentes a harry, es como si odiaran el personaje y lo quieren hacer ver como otro, harry con lentes y todo puedo luchar con el señor oscuro, no entiendo el porqué de ésa manía, sino les gusta escriban de otro personaje que no use lentes, pero no están cómo los progres que cambian todo, lo único que les falta es que lo hagan negro y transgenero.
23el santo pegasoEn verdad que manía tienen en quitarle los lentes a harry, es como si odiaran el personaje y lo quieren hacer ver como otro, harry con lentes y todo puedo luchar con el señor oscuro, no entiendo el porqué de ésa manía, sino les gusta escriban de otro personaje que no use lentes, pero no están cómo los progres que cambian todo, lo único que les falta es que lo hagan negro y transgenero.
1/14/2023 c32 elgaucho
This Harry is like an autistic-savant. He's able to do the incredible, yet he remains ignorant of other real-life issues that can be solved by applying his capabilities a bit farther. Why is he still a doormat for Dumbledore and others? Why he went back to Privet Drive knowing it was useless? Why is he hiding from Fleur's parents? Those just a couple of instances. He has powers, he fought and and prevailed, he's in love, and loved by a powerful woman, and he acts like a child in a daze.
Is this the image you wanted to convey in the story? It is rather frustrating. And you're right: nowhere near the Lightning Lord.
Good idea, in general, though, and thanks for your effort.
This Harry is like an autistic-savant. He's able to do the incredible, yet he remains ignorant of other real-life issues that can be solved by applying his capabilities a bit farther. Why is he still a doormat for Dumbledore and others? Why he went back to Privet Drive knowing it was useless? Why is he hiding from Fleur's parents? Those just a couple of instances. He has powers, he fought and and prevailed, he's in love, and loved by a powerful woman, and he acts like a child in a daze.
Is this the image you wanted to convey in the story? It is rather frustrating. And you're right: nowhere near the Lightning Lord.
Good idea, in general, though, and thanks for your effort.
1/12/2023 c33 Archleone
Harry's character seems less in control and more volatile than it should be, seemingly just so that he will react more explosively to Toadette's provocations. It's kind of annoying. It's like, Occlumency? What Occlumency?
There's also a fair few times where Harry will act like he's hearing some information for the first time that he had already learned chapters before. Or there will be weird statements made by characters that don't really fit what has actually happened in the story but instead reflect what happened in the original books.
Harry's depression and obsession with his mom's shade and what she and some of the other spooks said to him doesn't feel very well established. I mean, why is he so fucked up about it? He knows they're just echoes from remnant magic. He knows his parents were dead. He never had any hope or belief that they would return to life or anything. It really just feels like you wanted to give him something to angst over on top of Cedric, but every time it comes up I'm just like "yo, what is wrong with you? You knew they were dead this whole time and even told Voldemort to go fuck himself when he tried to trick you into joining him with promises to bring them back when you were 11." It feels melodramatic and kinda pointless.
I also don't really get your obsession with the span of 1,000 years. I don't really see the need to randomly slap on an expiration date to everything. It makes things feel less magical, not more so. I wouldn't have minded it with the phoenixes so much if you had made it clear that these "phoenixes" aren't the phoenixes of myth. Because taking the mythological idea of a phoenix and dumbing it down to "extra special owls that got to evolve like a Pokemon. Not extra special birds, but extra special owls specifically" felt really stupid to me. Super unnecessary and existing only as a way to make Hedwig into a phoenix and I guess play into the 1,000 year thing that you kept tying more things to after that.
Like, why owls? Why only owls even? Owls don't even share any real similarities to seemingly immortal fire birds. I think it would have made more sense if there was a thing about this ritual existing as a way to elevate a particularly "worthy" avian familiar to a state closer to the mythological phoenix, made by someone who had a deep fascination for the Phoenix, and also a love for birds in general because they also had a beloved pet bird of some kind. Separate from a "real" phoenix, but connected conceptually.
And that's not even getting into all the similar-but-different birds in mythology that could be like a phoenix if you squinted. The idea that these legends are just about very special owls is pretty ludicrous. And not in the fun way.
Anyway, I think the lack of interest you have in this story is fairly evident in the past several chapters. If you genuinely have an interest in returning to writing this eventually, you should probably also go over it all again to check for consistency in both the facts of the story and how characters should be behaving. Consistency is important.
Harry's character seems less in control and more volatile than it should be, seemingly just so that he will react more explosively to Toadette's provocations. It's kind of annoying. It's like, Occlumency? What Occlumency?
There's also a fair few times where Harry will act like he's hearing some information for the first time that he had already learned chapters before. Or there will be weird statements made by characters that don't really fit what has actually happened in the story but instead reflect what happened in the original books.
Harry's depression and obsession with his mom's shade and what she and some of the other spooks said to him doesn't feel very well established. I mean, why is he so fucked up about it? He knows they're just echoes from remnant magic. He knows his parents were dead. He never had any hope or belief that they would return to life or anything. It really just feels like you wanted to give him something to angst over on top of Cedric, but every time it comes up I'm just like "yo, what is wrong with you? You knew they were dead this whole time and even told Voldemort to go fuck himself when he tried to trick you into joining him with promises to bring them back when you were 11." It feels melodramatic and kinda pointless.
I also don't really get your obsession with the span of 1,000 years. I don't really see the need to randomly slap on an expiration date to everything. It makes things feel less magical, not more so. I wouldn't have minded it with the phoenixes so much if you had made it clear that these "phoenixes" aren't the phoenixes of myth. Because taking the mythological idea of a phoenix and dumbing it down to "extra special owls that got to evolve like a Pokemon. Not extra special birds, but extra special owls specifically" felt really stupid to me. Super unnecessary and existing only as a way to make Hedwig into a phoenix and I guess play into the 1,000 year thing that you kept tying more things to after that.
Like, why owls? Why only owls even? Owls don't even share any real similarities to seemingly immortal fire birds. I think it would have made more sense if there was a thing about this ritual existing as a way to elevate a particularly "worthy" avian familiar to a state closer to the mythological phoenix, made by someone who had a deep fascination for the Phoenix, and also a love for birds in general because they also had a beloved pet bird of some kind. Separate from a "real" phoenix, but connected conceptually.
And that's not even getting into all the similar-but-different birds in mythology that could be like a phoenix if you squinted. The idea that these legends are just about very special owls is pretty ludicrous. And not in the fun way.
Anyway, I think the lack of interest you have in this story is fairly evident in the past several chapters. If you genuinely have an interest in returning to writing this eventually, you should probably also go over it all again to check for consistency in both the facts of the story and how characters should be behaving. Consistency is important.
1/10/2023 c2 Archleone
It's always laughable when people try to make goblins some kind of power that can do everything. They can give you great political power, they can pull out crazy magic to do the impossible, and they can even do a genealogy test on you while also listing out all of your latent talents and abilities.
Goblins are bankers. That is all. They shouldn't be able to do anything but handle your money for you. And even then, you'd probably want an independent wizard broker to actually handle your money. Goblins just store it.
The "ability test" is one of the dumber things to come from fan fiction in the HP space, but it sort of amuses me from a nostalgia perspective.
One super common "ability" that annoys me is the "Partial Metamorph" thing. Why would you only be a partial Metamorph? It's magic. You either have it or you don't. I'm more willing to believe that you can be less innately talented at it that another Metamorph, but you should still have the full ability if you have it at all. Then it becomes a matter of effort and practice to see the limits of your ability to change.
It's also really stupid to be like "Hey, check out my super rare and valuable heirlooms, Banker-Guy-That-I-Do-Not-Know-or-Trust." It's yet another thing that annoys me about how people write goblins. They have Harry instantly trust them and tell them all of his personal business. They ar and that is all. They're not your therapist, they're not your advocate, they do not care about you, you should not trust them with that kind of information. They just handle your money and your vault. They shouldn't be privy to the contents of your vault except for the amount of money you have.
Your bankers probably shouldn't know the contents of your safety deposit boxes, so why should you tell goblins about are your secret little legendary-tier magical artifacts?
The mind-wipe thing at the end was a good touch, but Harry didn't know about that before he spilled some of his secrets, just casually, to a banker. Like, he's lucky that (allegedly), the banker cannot spread any of his personal information later or even remember it, because he could have been screwed if the guy was more of a Griphook that is cool with betrayal.
Anyway, the description of what a "Mage" is feels like it's all over the place. "You do wandless magic, but good. Oh, also you might have special sight. You are an elementalist. Conveniently, this thing that is known to the readers to be hard for HP is something known to be hard for Mages. Anyway, here's a list of the very few people known to be mages, but we'll only actually name two of them because the rest were chumps. Here's some more info dumping, but we're trying to be mysteriouuuus about what else you can do." It feels like you ended up trying to over-explain instead of just showing what Harry could do more naturally through the story.
I did find the "Powers-You-Definitely-Don't-Have" category to be funny though. If "Ability Tests" were really a thing, you know that every wizard except for maybe muggleborns would be getting one done at a young age, probably fantasizing about being mages and whatever else.
I also like the whole "Lily is actually the descendant of Slytherin, through a squib line" thing. Like, it's super basic bitch "baby's first fan fiction" level fanon, but it's an idea that always amused me. There's also a few parallels with Petunia being a bitchy, evil squib that lines up with how shitty their distant cousins (the Gaunts) mostly were.
It's always laughable when people try to make goblins some kind of power that can do everything. They can give you great political power, they can pull out crazy magic to do the impossible, and they can even do a genealogy test on you while also listing out all of your latent talents and abilities.
Goblins are bankers. That is all. They shouldn't be able to do anything but handle your money for you. And even then, you'd probably want an independent wizard broker to actually handle your money. Goblins just store it.
The "ability test" is one of the dumber things to come from fan fiction in the HP space, but it sort of amuses me from a nostalgia perspective.
One super common "ability" that annoys me is the "Partial Metamorph" thing. Why would you only be a partial Metamorph? It's magic. You either have it or you don't. I'm more willing to believe that you can be less innately talented at it that another Metamorph, but you should still have the full ability if you have it at all. Then it becomes a matter of effort and practice to see the limits of your ability to change.
It's also really stupid to be like "Hey, check out my super rare and valuable heirlooms, Banker-Guy-That-I-Do-Not-Know-or-Trust." It's yet another thing that annoys me about how people write goblins. They have Harry instantly trust them and tell them all of his personal business. They ar and that is all. They're not your therapist, they're not your advocate, they do not care about you, you should not trust them with that kind of information. They just handle your money and your vault. They shouldn't be privy to the contents of your vault except for the amount of money you have.
Your bankers probably shouldn't know the contents of your safety deposit boxes, so why should you tell goblins about are your secret little legendary-tier magical artifacts?
The mind-wipe thing at the end was a good touch, but Harry didn't know about that before he spilled some of his secrets, just casually, to a banker. Like, he's lucky that (allegedly), the banker cannot spread any of his personal information later or even remember it, because he could have been screwed if the guy was more of a Griphook that is cool with betrayal.
Anyway, the description of what a "Mage" is feels like it's all over the place. "You do wandless magic, but good. Oh, also you might have special sight. You are an elementalist. Conveniently, this thing that is known to the readers to be hard for HP is something known to be hard for Mages. Anyway, here's a list of the very few people known to be mages, but we'll only actually name two of them because the rest were chumps. Here's some more info dumping, but we're trying to be mysteriouuuus about what else you can do." It feels like you ended up trying to over-explain instead of just showing what Harry could do more naturally through the story.
I did find the "Powers-You-Definitely-Don't-Have" category to be funny though. If "Ability Tests" were really a thing, you know that every wizard except for maybe muggleborns would be getting one done at a young age, probably fantasizing about being mages and whatever else.
I also like the whole "Lily is actually the descendant of Slytherin, through a squib line" thing. Like, it's super basic bitch "baby's first fan fiction" level fanon, but it's an idea that always amused me. There's also a few parallels with Petunia being a bitchy, evil squib that lines up with how shitty their distant cousins (the Gaunts) mostly were.
1/7/2023 c24 1kasicair
This is just so retarded I can't even comprehend it.
The MC knew that something was out to get him. He knew it would happen during the third task. The VERY LAST thing that was between him and finishing the task was the freaking cup. Yet, he didn't find it suspicious at all?
I get the canon Harry getting caught into this trap because that poor sap had no clue. But this Harry was given every clue yet he still acted like the canon one. That's just stupid.
Like... OMG what could possibly be the trap? There is a massive triwizard cup standing on the pedestal and touching it would end the Third Task. Riddle's trap will be during the Third Task. What could POSSIBLY be the trap?
I feel like facepalming at this MC's stupidity.
1kasicairThis is just so retarded I can't even comprehend it.
The MC knew that something was out to get him. He knew it would happen during the third task. The VERY LAST thing that was between him and finishing the task was the freaking cup. Yet, he didn't find it suspicious at all?
I get the canon Harry getting caught into this trap because that poor sap had no clue. But this Harry was given every clue yet he still acted like the canon one. That's just stupid.
Like... OMG what could possibly be the trap? There is a massive triwizard cup standing on the pedestal and touching it would end the Third Task. Riddle's trap will be during the Third Task. What could POSSIBLY be the trap?
I feel like facepalming at this MC's stupidity.
12/25/2022 c2 N. A. Wennerholm
Harry needs to literally tell Albus he condones abuse and by his inaction, he is blessing abuse. And when children tell him what is happening at home and he refuses to listen and because he knows about the abuse using the abuse victims he can and will be charged with accessory to child abuse and child endangerment. And children who die because of him he can also be charged with accessory to murder.
I know if I had walked into the school I would call Albus out on his shit and what he is going to be charged with. And while at it I would call out all the other Witches and wizards on their stupidity and lack of logic and common sense. And lack of proper morals and ethics.
Harry needs to literally tell Albus he condones abuse and by his inaction, he is blessing abuse. And when children tell him what is happening at home and he refuses to listen and because he knows about the abuse using the abuse victims he can and will be charged with accessory to child abuse and child endangerment. And children who die because of him he can also be charged with accessory to murder.
I know if I had walked into the school I would call Albus out on his shit and what he is going to be charged with. And while at it I would call out all the other Witches and wizards on their stupidity and lack of logic and common sense. And lack of proper morals and ethics.
12/21/2022 c33 1GodricGryffindor87
This chapter was great! I hope that the packt between Harry and the 4 Slitherins will work out! please update soon!
1GodricGryffindor87This chapter was great! I hope that the packt between Harry and the 4 Slitherins will work out! please update soon!