Just In
for Invisible Man

4/24/2021 c3 Cease
Hey, nice fic you started here, gotta feel bad for issei.
4/22/2021 c3 3Impassive Purple
Great start.

I believe you may be being slightly too critical of yourself when taking into consideration the actual quality of what I've just read. It's healthy to have self-criticism, but I don't believe any flaws worth pointing out (or being legitimately concerned about in the first place) have been displayed to any noticeable degree.

Simply put, so far, you've executed the concept competently, and enjoyably. You've succeeded, for me if nobody else. I definitely plan to follow this story for the foreseeable future.

The writing itself flows very well, and any potential issues with the story proper haven't had much time to manifest yet, because it hasn't truly left introduction; you're still in the first three chapters.

If you NEED to be nitpicked into the ground (and I really do, REALLY mean nitpick), I'd say that you probably spend slightly too much time IN Issei's head, and not enough time WITH Issei, if you understand. It's a common problem I personally hold with fics in general. There's a lot of Issei just thinking to himself, and sometimes on issues that probably don't need to be elaborated on for the reader to understand. You're allowed to leave some things up to interpretation or guess work, and instead focus on interaction and plot progression. This is pretty much a problem exclusive to Issei, as far as I can see... which makes perfect sense; this bit of criticism comes with the caveat that if his entire issue, the entire beginning of his arc, is being essentially forgotten and ignored by the world at large, all he really has is himself and his thoughts to entertain the reader. Dare I say that's integral to the pacing and tonal setting.

So in the end, I still feel like this is hardly worth pointing out, because it's not as if it's intruded on the plot or enjoyability in any meaningful way. That kind of negligible issue isn't going to become a real problem unless you're like 15-20 chapters deep and have characters to bounce Issei off of (primarily, Koneko in this case) to help SHOW Issei's struggles instead of simply stating them as internal exposition, but still choose to do it that way. As an example, the POVs of characters forgetting Issei tend to be slightly more enjoyable to read than those with Issei himself narrating. But right now at the beginning of the story, there's not really another option (keep in mind "option," not fix) unless you're looking to increase the pace of the story or mostly take it out of Issei's POV, which I'd probably advise against. Your pacing is solid. The flow of the writing is solid.

Anyway, whatever you do, just enjoy writing it. Being too critical of yourself is likely to just burn you out, so don't be so hard on yourself/depreciating of your effort as to call what you've written a "hot mess than can arguably be called a 'story'." Chapter 3 was well readable and still very well enjoyable despite how much it kicked you around. I'm looking forward to reading more in the future, if you're inspired to continue putting out chapters.
4/19/2021 c3 Renaxan
Seems interesting
Cant comment anything though as nothing happen as far as i could see..
4/19/2021 c3 Spartan Ash
This fanfic is really something. Issei as a normal everyday person going with the motion. The fact you have the Supernaturals confused on something so normal for humans is fantastic
4/18/2021 c3 KiritoAlpha
kinda fun seeing the normally calm and calculating sona sitri losing her mind. I can't wait to see what happens next
4/17/2021 c3 2Ryuujin96
I think this is a great chapter and taking a month to update is not very long consider some stories take months or years to update, if they're updated at all.
4/14/2021 c2 KiritoAlpha
I like where this is going so far. koneko is personally my favorite and you never see many pairings with her. keep up the good work
4/6/2021 c2 Killthebeast
Nice story, great work so far. A new point of view to see Koneko miss someone. I don't know why but i believe her missing Issei will be kept in the back of her mind.

Hope they will interact more.
4/4/2021 c2 9Tri-Edge
It's interesting enough to keep reading for now; I am finding myself curious as to what his power really is this time around.
3/25/2021 c2 Guest
Can't you do something like raynare accidentally kills issei as a way of getting him into the plot?
3/27/2021 c1 0Anonymous5
Well I certainly hadn't expected a new chapter to be out so early and it's a good one at that. I'm not really a fan of the POV changing to different people and I would prefer the POV to just be on one person since it gives off the mysterious vibe and to have the other person's opinions and feelings unknown so it's more fun and mysterious at least to me but regardless of that, it's still a good chapter. Nice work.
3/26/2021 c2 5Xerozzuro
I honestly didn't expect an update to come out so soon, if at all. I'm glad you're still working on it, this is shaping up to be a really interesting venture, all for reasons I enjoy.
I like how you tried to write separate parts of the chapter in different POVs, it's pretty cool to see the different characters' different thoughts on the situations.
Overall, pretty good chapter, I really like the subtle 'issues' you gave both Issei and Koneko. Especially in Issei's case, I think you did a great job with that.

Once again, I hope you continue working on this, as I think it's going to turn out great. There are honestly not enough Issei x Koneko stories on here (or perhaps there are and it's just me that can't get enough of them) so it's nice to see more.
Also I already said this in the previous review, but I really enjoy the Issei in your story, his behavior hits really close to home. So yeah, once again, good job on that.

Anyways, I'll be looking forward to the next update! Keep up the good work!

'Stay awesome!'
- Xeroz/Xerozzuro
3/26/2021 c2 FallenSage
Great job
3/26/2021 c2 13ALShamastus
You know what? I like it. What is the pairing though? I love a good Koneko x Issei, hmu if you need anything, I'll do my best.
3/25/2021 c2 MidnightAmbush
Great chapter, I hope the suspicion turns to pity, it hurts when they suspect Issei who is just hurting, but it is reasonable. I hope Koneko opens up to Issei and isn’t a tsundere
39 « Prev Page 1 2 3 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service