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for Fawkes The Familiar Phoenix

4/26 c1 cyrilalbar06
This was a good book, I liked it a lot.” ... If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on Novel Star, just submit your story to hardy novelstar. top or joye novelstar. top
4/21 c7 James Birdsong
4/21 c7 Guest
That was a good duel, lot of people seem to be wondering why Louise didn't finish the duel by disarming Guichie. They seem to forget that out of literally thousands of possible spells she only knows a handful of the most basic ones. Even if she was given more time there is no guarantee that she would learn that particular spell. It is not like she is following a curriculum, or has someone to advice her on what spells she should prioritize.
4/21 c7 1keybladelight
That was super short chapter but it was okay but you know louise could have use expirriamaus spell to take guiche wand or stupifi or other harry potter spell to defeat guiche.
4/21 c7 slayore
Ugh which pheonix would fawkes be the kind one who cursed an entire clan or the evil one who controls an entire empire. Find out next time on Phoenix ball z
4/21 c7 drmcgraw186
in my mind she won as soon as she took out the 1st golem, I a bit surprised she didn't use Expelliarmus spell to take his wand away and win that way

also I'm pretty sure lumos would be seen as a fire element spell (just lacking heat)
4/21 c7 2xyzdreadnought
Oh you absolute tease! having her miss her intended target like that.
4/20 c6 xyzdreadnought
this started off rather silly I must say.

I can't wait to see Guiche start vomiting Slugs :P
4/16 c2 4Azaira
I really like it. Funny and enjoyable.
Only real issue is the random inclusion of first person perspective, sometimes in the middle of a paragraph. If it’s intentional, it needs to be italicized or otherwise displayed as intentionally different(such as for inner thoughts).
4/15 c6 James Birdsong
Good chapter
4/15 c6 Guest
Yeah man if I can be honest at this point started skipping past the Fawkes centric parts of the story. While I didn't mind Fawkes antics at first, at this point its just become a string of nonsensical silliness. The professors from Hogwarts and Tristian meeting each other, Louise using proper magic to punish her tormentors. That is interesting, and that is the reason I'm following this story.
4/15 c6 1keybladelight
Why did you have to stop on a cliffhanger it was getting interesting I hope to see what dumbledore will talk with osmond.
4/15 c6 4lop90ful1
Anyway loving the story
4/14 c5 Sir Bob the 1st
Ok this? This is good.

The only peace of advice I can give you is try to find a Beta. Someone who will at least spellcheck for you and at best help the flow of the story
4/9 c5 1keybladelight
Ok now you got me curious I hope that albus show the memories of Harry Potter the boy who lived the living legend that has kill the dark lord voldemort to the end of the battle of hogwarts to louise, siesta, and osmond and colbert and kirche and tabitha.
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