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for Bunny Boy

4/7/2021 c1 7MagnusLR
Okay, first, good story, I like the plot and how it developed. The characters don't sound much OOC but there's still some awkwardness. If you don't mind I would like to give you some advise: 1) Don't use italic or bold, it makes the reading difficult and it doesn't flow as well for a normal lengthily reading. Italic specially tends to be used to highlight a thought, a dream or something that is being read. Bold black it's so thick that its most commonly used for signs, posts and notes that are being read or to denote screaming, this in particular using all capital letters.
2) Always make sure dialogues are distinguishable with air quotes, " " , and check the spelling many days after writing. I usually check the spelling 3 times minimum before uploading, all 3 times after finishing writing the whole piece and with a minimum of 5 days apart, thou I tend to wait 2 weeks or more for the final read through. Sometimes when you read multiple times the same paragraphs you mentally skip phrases or sentences so errors are easier to miss.
Well, again, good story, hope to read more from you, specially if it's for Razor or BaizhuXZhongli : )

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