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for Sunrise (Quentyn Martell SI)

4h c43 Immortal Potatoe
4h c43 osterreicher97
Damn, yeah... this really changes everything... no wonder "Quentyn" was panicking about the timeline shift caused by these early on deaths of some of the characters who would have ordinarily lived much longer... though at least there's apparently "a pregnancy" in the wings to mitigate the chance of the Reach joining up with the Lannisters and may just stay neutral or something, for now.

Also, the Boltons aren't going to be an issue either from the sound of it, so the North has a chance regaining and retaining some degree of stability.
4h c43 2Sage Nameless
Holy shit, Catelyn would rather the Lannister's take the throne than Jon Snow become Lord of Winterfell.

Also, could you expand a bit on Doran's motives for betrothing Tristayne and Myrcella? It never really made sense in canon, and it makes even less sense in this fic.
1/14 c42 TitanGuest912
Very good! The justice and the chapter :), thank you!
1/14 c42 Dave
Thanks ! Love the story
1/15 c42 Sage Nameless
Shit, this is BRUTAL. I love it.
1/15 c11 Sage Nameless
Fairly certain that perfumes already exist in Essos. I know Varys is said to constantly walk around wearing them.
1/15 c42 javi30
very good chapter.
Keep writing.
1/13 c41 TitanGuest912
Great chapter, would love to read more. Good luck writing the story!
1/14 c42 osterreicher97
Nice revenge. One of the best instances I’ve read….
1/12 c41 Guest
I have read through all the chapters of this story and found it meh.

The main problem is the author tends to tell us what happened rather than showing. Quentyn just invents penicillin, nothing on his struggle to achieve it, he just does it. Same thing with the perfume thing, it just happens, because the SI just knows how to make glass & perfume. Forgetting that ASOIAF is a medieval world where the knowledge and tools to produce fine glass containers doesn't exist yet. Or someone who does may have to be brought in from the free cities. But maybe I'm wrong about the containers being transparent glass, is it just wood? Dragon glass? Whateves, this is more of a nitpick, overall the inventions don't break the story.

What does hold this story back is the constant narration of events by Quentyn's entourage and family. Example, while Gerris travels to Bitterbridge, he worries about his marriage, his unborn child and the succession of his lands. Everything is told to us not shown, we don't see a wedding, his wife, his sisters, his father or anyone talk about the problems. It's pretty boring, like a wall of text.
The romances also suffer from telling us they love each other, we really don't see them get close. More like they fuck once, then everyone notes how close they are and then time skip to them being lovers.

Also, this is a medieval world I don't think the nobility would be fucking each other so liberally lol. Moon tea exists but we don't know how effective and how much is readily available. It seems to me it's more of a concoction of natural or magical abortificant that has mildling results. I wouldn't put it on par with modern contraceptives, but whatever I guess.

Overall this story is pretty low effort, but definitely above average for fanfiction.
1/14 c42 Immortal Potatoe
1/14 c42 95TMI Fairy
The "setting appropriate" cruelty made me smile.
1/14 c42 3iacopo.passerini
Ah ecco qua la situazione!
Lorch è stato preso e punito!
il nostro Martell è stato furbo e capace di mettere i nemici Lannister alle strette!
Adesso mancano solo il vecchio leone e la montagna che cavalca!
Adesso però il martell dovrebbe creare un alleanza tra il nord, Dorne e tutti i nemici dei Lannister.
Ora c'è il terzo atto e vedremo che accadrà!
1/14 c42 evymel
Satisfying so much! Doran wanted to regain control but here we have our prince gaining more renown
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