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for A Certain Hero’s Downfall

5/10/2021 c4 6BlueJack22
This guy must have knew Touma before Academy City because God of plague is the name given to him when he was spreading the bad luck to everyone
4/18/2021 c3 Guest
Need a proofreader since this is your first time writing this story? Can't be me though.
4/14/2021 c2 Guest
Also, how does 'two clenched fists and hit their heads hard' even work? It's normally two hands grabbing their heads and bashing them that makes sense.
4/14/2021 c2 Guest
You're missing a lot of comma.
4/13/2021 c1 Guest
1. "Why did I do to upset you this time Index" should be 'What', and manikin should be 'mannequin'.

2. I would assume K stands for Kihara? Better be a female though.
4/14/2021 c2 1onilink500
Bueno ayu sería y Misaki son las más cercanas a Touma del pasado (a menos que quiera meter a aogami )

Un estilo de joker si quisiera romper a Touma sería. Meterse con sus personas más amadas

Si lo comparara Touma tiene la mentalidad de Superman. Pero cuando pierden algo que amaban demasiado tienden a enloquecer

Aún que ese problema es grande podría. Mandar un mensaje a misaka que necesita de kuroko
4/14/2021 c2 Fortitude501
Huh.

So Touma is dealing with a foe that took lessons from Heath Ledger Joker and Khan from Star Trek 2: the Wrath of Khan. The kind that have waited long and prepared for their revenge. I wonder what kind of deep grudge does he have against the unfortunate teen.

Since Misaki was warned in the previous chapter, would that mean that she and Seria will personally be more involved? I sure hope so.

I like the idea of people from Touma's unexplored/explored (example: Misaki and Seria) past be the main focus instead of the overexposed Railgun and the equally useless and whining Index.
4/14/2021 c1 7MrQuestionMark
Well, that turned sinister rather quickly...not that I mind!

A good premise, especially given the type of material that you're dealing with and the focus on Touma's past. There's not much to say there apart from that but given the introduction so far, I can definitely say that I'll be back for another chapter when it comes up.

In terms of advice, I think there's not much to say in terms of your storytelling so far - it's too early for it to be considered as good or bad. However, I will say that focus a bit more on the writing; things like sentence structure, punctuation and other types of grammar nitpicks go a long way and allow the reader to focus on the story so make sure that you work a bit on that.

Apart from that, a strong start and something that I'll be looking forward to reading a bit more of! I probably won't end up reviewing every chapter but the ones that stick out to me I definitely will.

Mr ?
4/13/2021 c1 1onilink500
Veamos se ve interesante

Aún que si se pone algo peligroso podría terminar con la única que sabe. Que a estado en la oscuridad

Ayu mitsunari y este le conduzca a sería
Estás sabiendo cosas

Será que Touma tiene una loca yandere
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